JAEJOONG AND MIKIKO ARE NO LONGER A COUPLE

          I stared at the headline, wondering how I felt about it. Honestly, I hardly cared. I know I should’ve. I should’ve been jumping up and down on my bed, happy and full of joy.

          But all I did was stare at it. I felt nothing.

          So with a sigh, I put the magazine away and practically forgot about it.

“______ what’s wrong?”

          “Nothing,” I mumbled droopily.

          “______,” Ashton said with a sigh. “I’m really sorry that things with you and Myungsoo had to end up this way.”

          “Me too,” I mumbled sadly. “And I know about how he hadn’t been my first choice for this little charade.”

          “An Infinite member told you huh?”

          “Yup.”

          Ashton shrugged. “Well we were planning to keep it a secret. He didn’t want you to know that he was a fan.”

          “Why?” I asked. “What’s the big deal?”

          “Because he wanted you to fall in love with him for him. Not because he was a fan. If you’d known that he was a fan you would’ve pitied him, right?”

          “Maybe,” I mumbled.

          “See? That’s why he wanted to keep it a secret from you,” Ashton said with a sigh. “I’m sorry ______. I really am.”

          “Why did you even want me to do this thing in the first place?” I asked. “I’m better off with Jaejoong. At least that could’ve been real.”

          “But what you and Myungsoo had was real,” Ashton stated.

          “No it wasn’t,” I said. “It never was and it never will be because our relationship is history. We can never be together now because of everything that’s happened.” I sighed. “And it’s not your fault, Ashton. The both of us should’ve been more careful. I would’ve really kept fighting for us. If he hadn’t ended it.”

          “I’m sure he had his reasons,” Ashton said reassuringly. “He really loved you. He really did.”

          “Well I don’t believe it now,” I said. “I once did, though.”

          It was silent for a while, until Ashton said, “With all the drama that’s going on right now…I think it’s best if you leave for a while.”

          “What? Why me?” I asked. “Isn’t L gonna be the one in Japan? I can just stay here in Korea.”

          “I don’t mean it like that,” Ashton said. “DBSK is doing a World Tour soon and we got a proposal from Sooman asking you if you could be one of their opening acts. And since you did a duet with Jaejoong, to perform it with him during the tour. You’ll be traveling around the world for about 5 months, meeting new fans, alongside Jaejoong.”

          Jaejoong?

          But for some reason I didn’t feel like being with him at the moment.

          “But…I don’t want to leave him,” I said quietly, referring to “him” as obviously L.

          “I’m sorry,” Ashton said again. “Things have gotten so out of proportion…it’s insane. Maybe this just shows how much everyone thought you guys were real and loved you.”

          “Emphasis on the past tense,” I mumbled. “I guess I’ll do it then. I need to get over him.”

          “But ______ I’m only telling you about this only so that you’ll have something to do while things die down. I don’t think you should get over him,” Ashton said.

          “I have to,” I said. “My feelings for him were never even real anyways. This should be easy. And besides, it’ll be nice to get away for a while.”

          “You’re going to miss him,” Ashton warned me. “A lot.”

          “No I won’t I said,” stubbornly. “I’ll forget about him before you know it.”

Listen to Yiruma – River Flows in You w/ Vocals

          So there I was, apparently single again. I sat off on a grand journey with Jaejoong and the other members of DBSK while my former companion stayed in Korea to continue promoting and soak in his new found popularity. I heard Infinite won their first triple crown. I was very happy for them.

          When Jaejoong found out that that I was going to alongside him on the tour he didn’t show much reaction to it. If anything he acted like I was just some other idol coming to perform with him.

          One night though, after a concert in Bangkok, he finally spoke. The concert was over and I was lounging around on the stage, looking off at all of the empty seats of the stadium. Jaejoong suddenly appeared and took a seat beside me. The both of us dangled our legs over the edge.

          “Thank you for believing in me,” he suddenly said.

          “No problem,” I replied.

          “You do know that Mikiko and I were fake, right?” he said. “And if you haven’t read the papers, we’re over. SM decided that it wasn’t helping DBSK at all and said that we should end it. That’s what I wanted to tell you that night when I came by the office to look for you.”

          I looked over at him. “Really.”

          “Yeah.”

          “So you’re trying to tell me that…”

          Jaejoong sighed. “I’m sorry I acted like a jerk to you. SM was being a and was forcing me to do all these things and…it just got to me. I’d meant it when I said I loved you.”

          I’d meant it…

          For some reason the dork’s voice echoed throughout my mind. He’d said the same thing.

          “Fake relationships are stupid,” I said. “Really, really stupid.”

          “They are,” Jaejoong said in agreement. “But Mikiko and I barely even saw each other. SM only chose her because we were rumored together once and they thought it’d be easy. But I don’t even think I saw her once.”

          “Mhmm…I see,” I said.

          “We were nothing like you and the other kid. You guys were everywhere. So I can’t exactly say that I know how you feel,” Jaejoong said quietly.

          “It’s nice of you to try to relate,” I said. “I forgive you, for acting like a jerk to me.”

          Jaejoong looked at me. “Are you okay, ______?”

          “No,” I said droopily. “I’m not.” I sighed and hung my head low. “I miss him, oppa. It’s only been two weeks into the tour but we have this thing where…two weeks may feel like two years to me.”

          “So you really ended up liking him,” Jaejoong stated.

          “I did,” I said. “But things got ugly. And now we’re separated like this.”

          “I’m sorry,” Jaejoong said sympathetically.

          “He didn’t believe me when I said that you were innocent. I told him that I still liked you even though I didn’t mean it.” I was already crying.

          Jaejoong put my head on his shoulder and I sobbed. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard so far in my entire life. Jaejoong my hair every now and then, calmly telling me that everything was going to be okay. I was suddenly reminded about how this scene seemed so familiar. Just a couple of months ago I’d been crying on L’s shoulder about Jaejoong. And now it was the other way around. It’s funny how things change in such a short amount of time.

          “I miss him…,” I said through my sobs. “I miss him so much oppa. Things will never be the same again. What if we never talk ever again? What if I lose him forever?”

          “Shhhh that can never happen,” Jaejoong said softly. But I still continued to cry anyways.

          “I loved him…I really loved him…” I hated how I was mumbling these things like a love struck teenager who’d just gotten her heart broken by her first love. But then again, most of that does apply to me. I was crying and saying stupid things like a crazy person. I was surprised that Jaejoong hadn’t slapped me and told me to snap out of it.

          “It’s okay,” was mostly what he’d told me that night after the concert. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

          I don’t know how long Jaejoong and I sat there at the edge of the stage, with me crying on his shoulder and him trying to comfort me. Soon my sobs had died down and things grew quiet. Jaejoong started to hum a soft lullaby. I felt myself yawn, growing sleepy.

          “Hyung,” Junsu said. “I think it’s time to leave.”

          “We’ll be right there,” Jaejoong replied.

          Junsu pointed to me and then back to him. “Was I interrupting something?”

          Jaejoong shook his head and I felt a smile grow on my face. The dolphin really knows how to make people laugh.

          “C’mon ______,” Jaejoong said as he helped me up. “You should get a lot of rest back at the hotel.”

          “Thank you for listening,” I said, sniffling. “Ugh I must’ve looked like an idiot back there.”

          “It’s fine,” Jaejoong replied. “You’ll get over him soon, trust me.”

          “Everyone’s telling me that,” I said. “But oppa…I don’t think I can ever really get over him.”

A/N: so yeah when you told L that you still liked Jaejoong, you didn’t mean it. You only said it because you were angry and jealous of him and Yerim. Just clearing that up hehe :)