“Hey dork.”

          “Sup .”

          “I hate you.”

          “But I love you.”

          “Shut up.”

          “Okay.”

          I heard L shuffle around a few things on the other line before saying, “Why are you calling me anyways? Just to insult me?”

          I laughed. “No. Um, actually Ashton just wants you to come over to the Entrust building, that’s all.”

          “What for?” L asked.

          “I don’t know,” I said. “But hurry.”

          I was spinning around in Ashton’s revolving chair when L entered the room. He was wearing a plain white shirt and baggy jeans but for some reason I really liked the outfit on him.

          “Where’s Ashton?” L asked, peering around the room. “And what were you doing? And you call me the dork.”

          “Spinning around on a chair is not a dork activity,” I stated. “Your existence however, is.”

          “Dork,” L said, “means .”

          “What are you talking about no it doesn’t!” I exclaimed.

          L pulled out his phone and took a deep, long sigh as he punched in a couple of buttons here and there.

          “Aha! Here it is.” L handed me his phone. I took a look at the webpage that he’d brought up, which was dictionary.com

          “Slang,” I read, “silly, out-of-touch person who tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others.” I gave L a puzzled look. “This doesn’t say anything about a ,” I said.

          “Read the word story,” L said as he pointed to the phone in my hands.

          “The history of dork is a short one,” I read. “It’s been around only since the 1950s or 60s, originally as a slang term for “”.

          .

          L had a smug smile on his face. “Continue reading,” he said triumphantly.

          “Next time you call someone a dork think about its short history in the English language and reflect upon what a word nerd you are.” I felt my nostrils flare. “YAH!” I exclaimed. “I AM NOT A WORD NERD!”

          “AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” the death note kid was laughing like a complete idiot. “Word nerd!”

          I rolled my eyes and gave him back his phone. “Youngsters these days.”

          “Hey,” L said, “I’m not that much younger than you.”

          “Young enough for you to call me noona,” I said. “But please don’t call me that. Makes me feel old.”

          “Hehehehe ahjumma,” L snickered.

          “YAH! Is today ‘piss ______ day’ or something?” I asked.

          “No,” L said with a smile. “I just love teasing you.”

          At that moment Ashton walked through the door.

          “Hey lovebirds!” he excitedly exclaimed.

          L and I both rolled our eyes at his remark. He just loves rubbing in the fact that we were basically a couple.

          “Good morning,” L greeted brightly. “You needed me for something?”

          “Ah, yes. It’s great that the two of you are finally here. Now that ______’s promotions with Jaejoong are over, Operation Myungsoo and ______ can finally start again!” Ashton said.

          At the mention of Jaejoong, I felt my heart drop. The weekend of goodbye promotions had been terrible. I knew our performances were off that weekend, and I felt terrible because I know that I’d given my fans a horrible performance. L hadn’t accompanied me that weekend. Jaejoong apparently hadn’t been allowed to see me until the actual performance. I wonder what his company was doing.

          I admit that I do miss talking to him though. I feel like his company was preventing him to see me because of his relationship with Mikiko. Maybe suspicions were arousing that prevented their happiness. Whatever it was, it was none of my business. Whenever on the streets I’d hope to coincidentally run into him, like old times. But he’d never show up.

          “So you guys have been dating for almost a year,” Ashton said, interrupting my thoughts completely. “One year calls for a supreme celebration!”

          “You called us together,’ I said slowly, “to help you plan a party.”

          “For us,” L added.

          “Well, duh. The whole world will be watching what Korea’s sweethearts are going to do for their one year anniversary! To be honest, Woollim and Entrust had this fake relationship better set up than any other company. The events, the public skinship, the hug after Infinite’s first win! The way Myungsoo puts his hand on ______’s knee! Oh god I’m tingly just from reminiscing the moments,” Ashton cooed.

          “Please, that was…embarrassing,” I said.

        “How is showing your affection for each other embarrassing?” Ashton asked, slightly offended. “It’s cute! It’s fresh, it’s new!” He smirked, and I knew that he was planning something in his head. “If I didn’t know any better,” he said, “I would’ve thought that you guys hadn’t even been pretending this entire time. Are you sure you guys aren’t…you know…real?”

           “What are you talking about?” L asked.

          “Everything that you guys have done for the past year all seem too real to be fake,” Ashton said. “None of you can be that well of an actor.”

          “What does this have to do with the party?” I questioned.

          “Why can’t we talk about how far you two have come in the relationship?” Ashton asked. “It’s like watching a Korean drama!”

          Because she doesn’t love me.

          Because I love someone else.

          L and I both stayed composed and just shrugged. We both had our reasons why we didn’t want to talk about it.

          “Okay, well, anyways, we’ll be inviting many idols. Most of whom, you two probably already know personally. There’ll be a DJ and everything!” Ashton said.

          “So I’m assuming that you’re taking care of everything,” I said.

          “Well of course! You guys don’t even seem enthusiastic about it…someone needs to take charge.” Ashton checked his watch and stood up. “I’m done. You guys are free to leave whenever you wish. I’m going to get myself a frap.”

          Ashton left the room and neither L nor I stood up to leave. It was dead quiet in the room.

          “______,” L finally said. “You’re using me, aren’t you?”

          “What are you talking about?” I asked, although deep inside I already knew what he was implying.

        “Jaejoong,” L said. “You still love him.” He swallowed and looked away. “And I’m a rebound,” he said quietly.

          I looked down at my hands. “I’m sorry,” I said. “But it’s not like you like me or anything, right? So it’s okay. And…you like Yerim…so it all works out.”

          “When did I ever say that I liked Yerim?” L asked. “It’s never been her. Never.”

          “Then who do you like?”

          L seemed taken aback by such a straight forward question. He sighed and closed his eyes tiredly. “Never mind.” He got up from his seat and left the room. I watched him as he left, and wondered if what I’d said had been too harsh.

          But it’s true, right? He didn’t like me. He couldn’t. I’m such a to him, how can he ever like me? I felt bad for using him…part of me wonders why I even asked him who he liked…

          …maybe because I was hoping he’d say me.

          The next time I saw him was at the hair salon. I was in the middle of getting my hair done when L walked through the door and took the seat next to mine. He didn’t acknowledge me and the aura around him seemed different. It was somewhat darker and I hated it.

          “Yah, L-ah,” I said. “Are you okay?”

          L didn’t reply to me as he played around with something on his phone. I then noticed his cell phone wallpaper. It used to be the picture of me and him from our birthday party, the one when we were on the rooftop together. But now it was something that I’d never expected; a picture of him and Gyuri.

          Gyuri.

          One of my closest friends.

          And then I remembered that he was her fan.

          “W-When did you take a picture with Gyuri?” I asked shakily. Why the am I shaking?

          L clenched his jaw and glared at me.

          He glared.

          And it was damn scary.

          “None of your business,” he said coldly.

          I stared at him, wondering why he was like this all of a sudden. “L-ah,” I said. “What’s wrong? Why do you seem so angry? Is this because of the whole rebound thing?”

          L didn’t reply to me.

          “L,” I said again, growing impatient. “Stop acting like this.”

          L seemed like he’d had enough of my pestering and abruptly stood up in his seat. “I’m not getting my hair done today,” he said to the stylist. And with one last glare at me, he started to walk towards the door.

          “Myungsoo,” I said as I stood up. I bit my lip, suddenly feeling abandoned. He can’t be doing this to me. “You said that you can never get mad at me,” I said. “You’d said so.”

          L looked back at me from over his shoulder. His eyes were so cold that it sent shivers down my spine. This wasn’t the happy, cheerful dork that I was used to. “Really?” he scoffed. “Well I guess I lied then.”

A/N: bear with me guys! feelings are complicated hehe :3