Dear Kibum,

Thank you so very much for the coffee. Your company brought light to my life, and made my whole week, even though there was an uninvited guest. Sigh... If Minho hadn't shown up, maybe I would've had the confidence to finally tell you how I feel in person. I was just about to ask what you thought of my other letters, when at the door rang a beast. Minho came in with flowers, and swept you off your feet the way I had always imagined doing. He didn't even bring you the right flowers! He brought you dahlias! Yellow ones too! You hate the color yellow... Yet, you told him the gesture was sweet, and that the yellow would liven up the house a bit.

It hurt my heart to see a vase of bright yellow dahlias beside the vase with the withering roses. It was as if mother nature was mocking me now. While you and Minho lived on happily, shining as brightly as the dahlias from the warm glow surrounding and connecting your hearts, I grow bitter. I wither and fade away as my roses had already. One by one the brittle petals slowly fall and crumble like pieces of my heart as I watched the two of you kiss. Then after, when you tried to throw out the dead roses I shouted,"Don't!", frantically, because in the back of my mind I felt as if you were actually throwing me away. I embarrassed myself a bit when I said I would take them, but couldn't think of a good reason why, but really it was to save myself. I couldn't let you throw away what little we have. Am I so insignificant to you? What do I even mean to you? Probably nothing compared to Minho...

I want to mean the world to you as you do to me. So how can I do that? What else must I do to impress you? What'll part you from Minho's grasp and send you running into my loving open arms? I'm the one who cares so deeply, not him. I take extra special care to remember everything that you say to me word for word, so that I don't miss anything. He couldn't even remember your favorite flower or favorite color! When will you see the light to guide you towards me? Will you ever see your true path? Am I even your true path? Or am I just a backroad, deluding myself into thinking I'm a major highway? Why would you invite me over for coffee if you weren't interested in me though? I wish you would answer at least one of these questions, or at very least answer one of my letters. You must be getting them, there's no way the post office screwed up sending three letters in a row. I suppose there is still hope for me yet. When I asked if you two were dating, you both told me things were "complicated". You seemed to look so sadly when you said it. I could only assume that Minho doesn't want to commit, so you two don't have a label for your relationship. Meanwhile, I'm ready to marry you here and now in my shabby run down house without my heart skipping a beat. All you need is but ask, and I would throw myself off a cliff with a smile upon my face, because I'll feel so graced by your voice speaking to me as I plummet down towards the earth.

Now as I sit here, with the dead roses in a pile on my desk, wrapped in a soft pink ribbon, I contemplate our next step. Could we possibly go out to lunch? Somewhere in the city, where Minho can't interrupt us. Or maybe a picnic out in the countryside where it's more secluded? Write back to me what you think. Even a simple rejection letter would be enough to keep me from thinking I've gone mad. I'm losing myself here in all these questions without anyone to give me any answers.

Love,

Jonghyun