Dear Jonghyun,

It saddened me a bit that you wouldn't come over to my place, but I understand. You seem to have such strong ties to your house that I just can't picture you ever leaving it anyways. At least you let me cook for you. I was grateful that the stove still worked after a proper cleaning. You looked like you hadn't eaten a home cooked meal in ages. It especially showed in the way you finally left your desk to snoop around the kitchen when the smell of dinner cooking wafted upstairs, and in the way you examined your food as if it was something alienesque. It was kind of cute to see you like that. I hope you enjoyed the meal. You still didn't talk to me, but you seemed very pleased while eating. All I want is for you to be happy.

Later that night when I fell asleep on your bed I couldn't help dreaming about us. It was such a sweet little scene. I cooked and you hugged me from behind as you tried to peek at what I was cooking. Our two little girls ran up to join in the hug, arguing over who loves you more. I had chuckled and hugged you the tightest as I told them that I will always love you the most, so they shouldn't fight. We were the perfect couple, and the perfect family. Our daughters were so precious that I grew fond of them instantly. I wanted so bad to hold them both and protect them for the rest of my life. I really felt like they were my babies. My heart melted in the dream. I wanted to live in it forever. When I woke up the next morning I desperately tried to cling to the dream. I kept my eyes closed and tried hard to concentrate on it, but it was forever lost. Now I can only hope that one day I can make that a reality, because I doubt I'll ever see that dream again. Although, I'll try to keep it alive in my memory as long as I can.

When I opened my eyes you had gone with the dream. You weren't at your desk or in the kitchen, so I searched all the rooms of the house, but you were gone. I was in shock. It always had seemed like you never left your house, and at that moment it had just seemed as if you had disappeared from my life completely. I had begun to think such crazy things. I wondered if you were only a dream. My thoughts brought me eventually to the conclusion that you were a side effect of all the drugs prescription and non that I have been taking consistently. The byproduct of a bad trip, that's what you were. It made more sense when I looked around the house. Who could've actually lived in place that was falling to pieces like that? Maybe in actuality I had just been sneaking into some condemned house that fell ever further into disrepair. I waited a long time, and did a lot more drugs since I couldn't handle the concept of you not being real. I'm sorry that you had to come home to see me like that. I freaked out majorly when I saw you again. My brain accepted you as an illusion, and when you came home I just couldn't process it anymore. I'm sorry I threw things in my panic. I am so glad that I missed and that you're okay. I'm better now. My head is clear and I understand everything again. I hope you aren't so scared of me that you would ban me from your house. I never wish to harm you Jonghyun. I only want to love you. Just never leave me like that again. Leave a note or something next time.

Sincerely,

Taemin ;)