Dear Mother,

It was nice to have you visit. I was thrilled that you could meet your grandson, even if the circumstances were unfortunate. As much as I grew to dislike Jay's mother, I did not come to hate her. I had loved her once, and she was the mother of my son. She was important to Jay, so certainly I never wished for her to die. Although maybe this was karma getting her back for all her trickery. Shortly before you arrived Jay's mother perished in a car accident. It was a rainy night and she was going too fast so her car swerved into another lane. Luckily, Jay had been staying with a babysitter at the time.

Now that Jay's mother isn't around to keep him from me I have full custody of him, and he's moved in with Kibum and I, he is taking all the new changes pretty hard. I worry greatly for him. He misses his mom terribly and acts out because of it. I understand it though. All of a sudden life was as it had always been for him, but then one day his mom just vanished and he was in a whole new strange world with people that might as well be strangers to him. Of course he didn't remember me, but when I explained who I was and why I hadn't been around he seemed a little more open, but very reluctant. He's started calling me Appa though, so that's progress I guess.

Kibum tries so hard to get Jay to like him, but Jay doesn't seem like he'll ever budge. Any time Kibum comes into the room Jay treats him like he's a ghost, completely ignoring him. I've had to punish Jay plenty of times since after you left, because he likes to go in our room and break Kibum's things. I've tried to take Jay to therapy, because I thought maybe his acting out was the result of the trauma of his mother's death. He wouldn't speak to the doctor though, so there wasn't much the doctor could do. I love them both so much, and I just want them to get along. I don't know what else to do. Do you have any ideas? You've always been good with kids. Jay took to you instantly when he first saw you. I just wish I could know what goes on in Jay's mind. I want to know why he hates Kibum so much even though they hadn't known each other before his mother's death.

It seems that after one battle there's five more lined up for me already. First Jay's mother was the problem, now Jay's attitude is the problem, and soon there will be another after that I'm sure before I can even blink my eyes. In the midst of my stress, I ed up again. This time it wasn't something stupid enough to send me back to jail, but it's something stupid enough to make Kibum leave me. I would've rather been sent back to jail honestly. Remember that clingy neighbor I told you about? Well he just kept coming around whenever Kibum was out. I told him no plenty of times, but he was just so persistent and persuasive. It had been a long time since I was last intimate with Kibum. Months had gone by and stress started piling up as we had complications with our wedding plans, and Jay kept constantly causing fights in our house. Somehow Taemin slipped in and melted the stress away for a little while. I let him in when I just couldn't take it anymore, and I did the upmost wrong. I cheated on Kibum. I know sooner or later Kibum will find out, so that'll be yet another battle to add onto the list.

Your loving son,

Minho