Dear Jonghyun,

So it's Kibum that you lust after, right? Why else would you be so happy that Minho was taken away by the police? Why do you torment yourself chasing after a heart that belongs to another? I suppose I can't be one to talk, but still. How can you neglect love that is ready and willing to be yours for love that will never acknowledge you? I have been the one who has been there for you whenever you looked upset. I am the one who now comes over to cook you a decent meal every night so that you'll stay healthy. I am the one who even helped you put Minho back behind bars! To distract Minho for you to frame him I had to be so provocative towards him that it was extremely uncomfortable. I let his huge roughened palms touch me where only you should, but I did it all for you. I would do absolutely anything for you. Yet, what would Kibum do for you? What HAS he done for you? Has he even written back to you once? I never see him around here and I'm here every single day, because I care about you more than anyone else in the world. So why does Kibum get that special place in your heart while I lie forgotten? In the far shadowed corners of your mind where all useless information is carelessly dumped, only to be erased slowly as the weeks tick by, that's where I lurk while I wait for sweet oblivion to brush off the burden that is love from my shoulders. 

Still, I should be grateful for the times you do let me into your world, however brief. Like yesterday for example, we went out and had a small celebration. You insisted on treating Jinki and I to several rounds in the bar last night. I didn't think you could honestly pay the bill at the end of the night, since you don't seem to have a source of income. I wasn't sure or not if you were sitting on old money or something, but I went ahead and swapped out your card for mine when the bartender served up the bill. I hope you won't be upset that I did that. I'm just trying to look out for you as always. Did you get to bed alright as well? I think you drank the most out of all of us. You seemed the most happy I'd ever seen you and i guess when you're happy you tend to drink a bit excessively. It was a fun night, probably one of my favorite nights ever. You were so open and talkative that I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like I was in a dream. Maybe it was just the alcohol, but I really felt like we had that final connection needed to pull you away from Kibum. I was sure of it when we drunkenly danced together in the bar to some obscure song about love. It was the perfect setting for the jumpstart of my broken heart. I was given life again once our love was sealed with a kiss, and it was well worth the splitting headache I have now from drinking so much. 

I don't remember the rest of the night after our kiss and then paying the bill, but I did find myself in a rather odd position this morning. I was lying in the empty bathtub of the master bathroom, in your house of course. Judging by the soreness in certain special areas I was able to confidently assume the night had been more fun than I'd originally thought. I found you sleeping on the bed, and Jinki on the floor by the bed. I wish so badly that I could remember the more juicy details of the night. I bet it was just as amazing as our first time. You were probably just as shy too, but you sure knew what you were doing when it came to the moment of truth. I hope that night will be enough to change your mind about Kibum, and about us. I doubt you remember much of the night either since your tolerance for alcohol is way smaller than mine, but I hope you can put together the pieces at least like I did. 

Sincerely,

Taemin ;)