Tears trickled down Joy's cheeks as she watched everything unfold. She couldn't handle it. Was she wrong to fall in love with someone completely out of her league? Was it wrong to fall in love with someone and show the world that she loves him dearly? Did she appear too desperate? Well, she was, she was desperate for him to love her back. She was desperate to have her own love become requited. But was it wrong? Was it really wrong to do that? Did she hurt anyone? No, she didn't. After looking back at everything, she didn't do anything wrong. She didn't hurt anyone. But why did everyone view her as some desperate she-beast who only wanted to get a boyfriend? 

She stepped back with open. She couldn't handle hearing it all from the mouths of the people closest to her. She had a frail heart, easily broken by words, easily scarred by stares, easily wounded by ignorance. Did they really think of her that way? Did they really think of her as someone as shameless as a skimp who only wanted a sugar daddy? Her heart was pure, as white as snow, as soft as a freshly baked pastry. Why did they think that? Was she in the wrong? She thought so. She really thought so. Since they were the majority, and she was alone. At that moment, she felt alone. 

Every step back that she would take was too much for her. She felt like Atlas carrying the world on her shoulders. She felt as if spears were poking her sides. She felt like a criminal, sentenced to death. She was too weak for this. She was not ready as vicious as this blow. But life knew nothing but to have everything happen. It didn't care if she wasn't ready. It only cared that a certain event happened. It didn't know that Joy was unprepared, that Joy might hurt herself, more so feel like kill herself. The fault was all hers. If she didn't stay late in that place, she wouldn't hear anything about how desperate she was to hold his hand, to be with him, to stare into the wonders of his eyes, to have her in his arms. 

Joy knew it wasn't wrong to fall in love. But she didn't know that this was a bad way of showing it. It wasn't love if it hurt someone. And Joy was hurt. Was it really love then? She had racing thoughts in her mind. She couldn't comprehend what was happening. Slowly, slowly, she turned her back and ran away, ran from the people she called her friends. She ran away from reality and wished fantasy would her right up. But sadly, it was impossible. She could only run. She only looked down, avoiding the stares people gave her. As long as they didn't know she was crying, it was fine. As long as they didn't see what expression she made on her face, it was alright. 

She couldn't breathe. The air around her suffocated her. Her lungs betrayed her. She inhaled deeply, and only inhaled. As she exhaled, finally she did, she let out a loud scream, a screech almost. Tears continued to flood her existence and she wanted to disappear in them. She wanted the tears to flood her, to stop her from breathing. Their words continued to echo in her mind, as if reminding her of what she was. Not what they viewed her, but what she was. She slowly acknowledged that she was a she-beast, desperate for a man. And she couldn't accept it. 

She loved him. She loved him more than she could ever love herself. With him, she felt as if she could do everything. She improved in her daily life. But after their words? After their sharp tongues lashed upon Joy's ears? She wasn't going to be the same ever again. She wanted to give up. All her efforts were just pitiful pleas of "please love me back." She was just selfish to think he would love her back, that he would return these foolish feelings. 

Joy knew no one could love her. She couldn't even love herself. She finally tripped as she ran and left herself crying on the cold street. She continued to sob, to wail, to scream her insecurities and her complaints about life. She cursed it before cursing herself after. The world was cruel, she believed, but she never knew it was this cruel. After doing nothing but love him, she didn't expect other people will be affected. It was between Joy and him, why are there even outsiders? Did their opinion really count? Well, it did, for Joy anyway. 

She wanted to disappear into the cold street. She wanted the heat of her body to transfer to the street. She wanted to escape. She was desperate for an escape from that world. She wanted the echoes to stop. She wanted everything to stop. If loving him was a sin, she didn't know. If falling in love was something man could not forgive, she'd rather rot in jail than face this kind of treatment. 

She closed her eyes and continued to take in deep breaths before everything went quiet, before she let herself be consumed by the fear she had in her. 

Yes, she was desperate, she was desperate to get away from the hell they call life.