CHAPTER 57

[Sol Han Na’s POV]

My hands were shaking.

My forehead’s damp with sweat.

And my mind’s reeling.

Myungsoo remained knelt in front of me, the fireworks bursting around us send lights of different colors across his face.

His eyes were full of confidence – assurance – but I don’t feel the same.

This is just for show, I tried convincing myself but to no avail. I don’t feel it. For me, it felt true. His proposal, this moment, everything… It all feels true.

Seconds ticked by but I wasn’t able to muster any word.

Myungsoo must have sensed my hesitance for the fire in his eyes was suddenly gone.

He looked uncomfortable.

Moments passed by again but I still didn’t respond.

Myungsoo realized it, I’m sure. He saw it – the fact that I’m so close to saying ‘no’.

I breathed in deeply.

I don’t know what to do.

My heart keeps telling me to say no for the sake of Baekhyun – for the sake of us.

But my mind keeps reminding me that this is just for the show, for the contract Myungsoo and I both signed and agreed on. I have to do this – need to do this – because this is all part of the terms of the show and there is no way I can escape it.

I started biting the insides of my mouth.

I can feel the tears coming.

I can’t cry. I am not supposed to cry. But the conflicting emotions within me are making it so difficult. Once again, I am in this horrible situation where I have to choose between what’s best for my relationship with Baekhyun and what is best for my career. I know I can’t choose both. I have to choose one and bear its collateral damage.

I released the breath I was holding.

Everything’s complicated.

But I finally made my choice.

I reached out and held Myungsoo’s hand, dragging it downward so it’s rested on my lap.

His eyes widened in anticipation.

The fireworks continued to burst, showering pink and silver sparks all around us.

It would’ve been better, I thought, if Baekhyun’s the one here with me.

I smiled bitterly.

I took another deep breath and forced myself to stare at Myungsoo. He’s been kneeling for so long now his knees must start to hurt.

I forced a smile at him.

He looked hopeful.

I whacked my brain at the last second, weighing my options for the last time, and answered. 

“Yes”

Another firework rocketed up the sky, much louder than the others, and burst. It was bigger, grander, and more colorful than the ones before it.

It lighted Myungsoo’s face.

He was smiling.

My heart clenched.

With trembling hands, he took the key out of its velvet box and carefully placed it around the ring finger of my left hand. It fit perfectly.

Myungsoo looked up at me wistfully and mouthed, “Thank you”.

Everywhere turned bright after that.

The gondola buzzed and started to move once again.

The electricity’s back.

The show’s about to be over.

Myungsoo and I finished the ride in silence. He was smiling brightly at me the whole time, his eyes darting towards the ring on my finger once a while. Once we’re back on the ground, the slate was hit – the signal of the end of another shooting day.

Stylists crowded us right after that, keeping me and Myungsoo apart.

“Only the interview left, Hanna,” my stylist said to me, sounding excited. I gazed at her and she smiled at me sweetly.

“That was so touching,” she whispered, checking if Myungsoo is around to hear her. “It was so touching all the ladies around were almost close to tears while watching.”

I didn’t answer her.

“May I see the ring?” she continued. I let her lift my hand to check.

She sighed.

“I’m jealous,” I heard her murmur, making me look away.

She continued to speak, “You should’ve seen the commotion down here. All the female staffs are screaming. Some are even crying. It’s a total chaos, seriously.”

Why are they fussing so much about it? I wanted to say but kept my mouth shut. My temper’s getting the best of me once again.

“You two look so perfect, you should start dating,” she added before finally putting the brush away. She’d finished retouching me. Irritated, I only shook my head at her.

She giggled and fixed my hair.

“Your interview’s about to start. Don’t forget my advice,” she muttered and walked away.

***

“Here’s your bag, Hanna,” Ms. Kim told me right after the solo interview. I took my bag from her hand and immediately searched for my phone. I almost gasped out loud upon seeing its screen.

34 missed calls. All from Baekhyun.

My heart began to race in fear.

I wonder if he watched the show today, I thought. I was constantly wishing h