CHAPTER 55

[Sol Han Na’s POV]

“Wow, that was fun!” Jinyoung exclaimed the moment the slate was hit and the cameras were turned off. We had just finished dinner but I feel like there are rocks inside my stomach rather than food. I felt so burdened and so was Myungsoo. I noticed his tensed figure while eating, the way he swallowed his food without even seeming to chew. We barely talked to each other after the “Pepero” incident. We barely even celebrated when Goong Min and Jinyoung announced that the luxury house shall be ours. It suddenly doesn’t feel like it was worth all the trouble we went through.

“Thanks for being such a good sport, L and Hanna,” Goong Min said, giving the two of us a pat on our backs. He held out his hand towards us and in it is the envelope we’ve worked so hard for.

“T-Thanks, sunbaenim,” Myungsoo muttered as he took it.

“Well, you deserve it,” he answered and smiled brightly before saying farewell.

Myungsoo and I stared vacantly at the white envelope. Myungsoo opened it and inside was a paper where “Luxury House” was printed in bold letters. I sighed inwardly in frustration. I cannot believe I went through all those trouble just to win myself a piece of paper.

“Do you want to keep it?” he asked, ready to hand me the envelope.

I shook my head in refusal.

“It’s okay, oppa. You go keep it,” I answered and it wasn’t really for the purpose of being humble or generous. I hate that envelope – despise it, even. I don’t think I can take it in my hands and not end up ripping it into shreds.

“A-Are you okay, Hanna?” Myungsoo whispered and suddenly I wasn’t able to stop myself from being guilty. He must have sensed how sour my mood is. I felt sorry for him. He doesn’t deserve to receive my anger. It was all my doing anyway.

“I-Is this about the---“

I was already preparing myself to hear my most dreaded question when a WGM staff suddenly called my name, saving me from having to speak with Myungsoo.

“Yes?” I answered back towards the direction of the voice.

“Interview!” the staff called out again.

I turned to Myungsoo, relieved that I can get away, and lowered my head to say good bye.

“Excuse me, oppa,” I muttered and left.

The interview went on as I had expected. They have bombarded me with questions about today’s episode and what I think about Myungsoo and I’s skinship – first hug, first kiss, and some other stuff. By the time I left the black room, my conscience was already killing me due to the hundreds of lies and pretentions and other things I’ve said that weren’t really true.

“You’re going, Hanna-ssi?” Jonghyun asked when I bumped into him outside the interviewing room.

“Ah. Yes, sunbaenim. There’s a concert I need to attend,” I replied quickly, suddenly feeling uneasy with having him close to me.

“EXO?” he asked again. I simply nodded in response.

“Oh. Well, it’s really nice to finally meet you. It’s like a fanboy’s dream come true for me,” he said conversationally and I forced myself to muster up a smile. He held out his hand to me which I hesitantly took. “See you again soon,” he added and I immediately bid farewell.

“Say good luck to the boys for me,” a voice spoke when I was about to board the van. I looked around and saw Myungsoo standing beside his company’s van that’s parked right next to mine.

“S-Sure, oppa,” I replied and I know he’s waiting for me to say more – perhaps to open the topic about what happened a while ago – but I didn’t. I lowered my head and entered the van.

“Straight to the concert venue, Hanna?” Ms. Kim asked from the front seat.

“Yes, Miss,” I answered but immediately added, “But first… Can we first drop by at some flower shop? I need to buy some flowers for the boys.”

“Of course,” she said kindly and we headed off.

The whole ride I was waiting for her to talk to me – to ask me about the shoot and all. Honestly, I was even expecting her to be so proud and smug about how she managed to guess what would happen in the episode but she didn’t. She kept quiet the whole way and by that, I was really thankful. I don’t think I could manage to talk to anyone anything about it right now. My mind’s still full of regrets and questions and guilt. I don’t know how I could face Baekhyun being in this condition.

It was around 8:30 in the evening when we finally arrived at the concert grounds. I hopped off the van quickly and jogged to the nearest entrance. Ms. Kim had some trouble catching up with me but she never left my side. She kindly assisted me to where Manager Song’s waiting – somewhere near the stage where only chosen people are allowed to enter.

“Thanks, Miss,” I told her before she left. She gave me a shy smile before motioning for me to go on. The concert has already started and I could sense that the whole stadium is already on full hype. I gave her a ninety degrees bow of appreciation and sped off.

Some fans began screaming the moment they saw me.

“Look, it’s Hanna!” I heard one of them say.

“I thought she wouldn’t come!”

“As if! You know how much she loves the boys!”

“I’m jealous of her! She’s so lucky!”

People began to take pictures of me as I made my way and I put an effort to smile and try to greet them as much as I can. Soon, I reached the section where I was meant to go. Manager Song beamed the moment she saw me.

“You’re here!” she gushed, pulling me into a tight hug.

“How much did I miss?” I asked as I checked the empty stage.

“Not much,” she answered, handing me a silver lightstick. I felt a surge of excitement the moment it touched my hand. I can’t believe I’m here and about to witness EXO’s concert. This is beyond anything I’ve ever imagined back when I was still in Jeju Do.

“They just finished performing Black Pearl. Chen’s about to start his solo performance,” Manager Song explained and I felt glad that I really hadn’t missed much. I tried to recall the exact sequence of the performances and realized I already missed Lay and Chanyeol’s solos. I felt bad.

I was still on the process of turning my lightstick on when the crowds around me suddenly bellowed into loud cheers. I looked up to the stage and saw Chen entering.

It felt like hell suddenly broke loose within me once Chen began to perform. I was screaming so loud and was jumping so high but I didn’t feel even a bit exhausted. Adrenaline was surging through my veins and I could strongly feel the rush as I continued to cheer without end.

Chen’s performance ended so fast that I wasn’t so sure if he had seen me. I was barely able to calm my nerves down when a familiar intro sounded throughout the stadium.

“XOXO!” Manager Song and I shouted in unison. I wasn’t able to notice until now that she was holding a similar lightstick and was even wearing an EXO headband. It made me laugh. She looked younger and extremely out of the “manager” character I’ve always known to radiate from her.

I saw the boys flooding the stage and I jumped and cheered even louder. They headed towards the extended stage, near to where I was standing, and I held my lightstick higher in the air as I tried to catch their attention.

As expected, Baekhyun was the first one to see me.

I saw his immediate flash of blinding smile the moment his eyes landed on me. We exchanged a few heartbeats of meaningful stares before he finally poked the other members to point at me. The whole gang seems to brighten up the instant they realize I was