CHAPTER 40

[Sol Han Na’s POV]

“What is wrong with him?” I exclaimed as I boarded the van and swung its door shut a little too forcibly. “Why is he being like that to me? What’s happening?”

Manager Song who’s already settled on the passenger seat overheard this and spoke, “Chill, Hanna. What are you getting so worked up about?”

“It’s L, Manager!” I answered in exasperation. “He’s being so weird and it’s really starting to make me feel uncomfortable.”

Manager Song frowned and looked back towards me.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said. “I don’t see anything wrong with him.”

My mouth dropped.

“You don’t?” I scoffed. “He’s being weird, Manager! He’s so sweet and cheesy and---“

My words were cut off by a sudden knock on the window.

I turned to check it and sure enough, it was L.

“See?” I mouthed as I sighed in frustration. Manager only gave me a nod, signaling that I should just go and open the door for him.

I followed helplessly.

“Oppa,” I muttered, struggling to control my voice.

L only gave me a quick nod before turning to Manager Song.

“Can I talk to Hanna for a minute, Manager?” he asked politely.

She nodded at him with a smile and sat properly so she could be facing away from us.

L smiled and returned his attention back to me.

I gulped and prepared myself for what is about to come.

“I was meaning to ask you before the shoot starts but I forgot about it,” he began, sounding a bit nervous. He bit his lip before continuing, “But… Can I get your number, Hanna?”

I felt my mouth dropped a little and was almost sure that Manager Song is already gazing back at us. I wanted to sneak a peek at her, to ask for help, but I know L would notice. I don’t have it in me to offend him like that.

“Uhh… S-Sure, oppa,” I replied, somehow managing to mask my hesitation.

L beamed and immediately took out his phone. He handed it to me and I can’t help but stare at it blankly.

“Password?” I asked, trying to hand the object back to him but he rejected it with a wave of his hand.

“I don’t put any password on my phone,” he explained and this information somehow surprised me. I can’t believe there are still people who don’t put lock passwords on their phone – much less an Idol like him. I, myself, have a password. But that is only because there’s tons of things I needed to protect – Baekhyun’s texts and video messages, Baekhyun’s selcas, and of course some of my personal memos. Maybe L doesn’t have anything to hide. Lucky guy.

I clicked his phone and swiped its screen and sure enough, it unlocked easily. The screen shifted into the main menu and the first thing I’ve noticed was his background – a picture of a rooftop.

I sighed inwardly and decided to just ignore it.

It can’t be about you, I told myself. Maybe he just likes that photo, that’s all.

I went to his contacts and immediately keyed in my phone number, handing it back to him right after. I took the moment of L’s preoccupation on saving my digits as a chance to sneak a peek at Manager Song. She has this kind of look that says: ‘You should go get his number, too.’

I bit my lip and tried to swallow back my pride and hesitation.

“Can I have your number too, oppa?” I asked as I took my phone out of my pocket.

“No, it’s okay,” he declined, surprising me. “I’ll just send you a message so you and Manager Song can go ahead.”

I stared at him.

“Y-You sure, oppa?” I asked doubtfully.

He nodded his head and bowed.

“Thanks for today, Hanna. I really enjoyed it,” he said as he bid his goodbyes and swung the door shut. I sat quietly for a few moments.

“So… Tell me…” Manager Song suddenly spoke. She has her head turned towards me and I could feel she’s going to give me a good scolding. “What could possibly be wrong with that?”

I sighed and looked at her.

“I’m just worried that L’s starting to become so… clingy. It makes me feel uncomfortable, Manager,” I reasoned out though back inside my head, there’s something else I am entirely worried about.

What if he took this whole married thing seriously? What if he really falls in love with me? I wanted to ask but decided not to. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but the way L has been acting up around me and that picture of a rooftop on his phone continuously bugs me.

Manager Song sighed and buckled her seatbelt in as the van roared to life. She spoke again, “There’s nothing wrong with what L’s doing, Hanna. He’s just doing what is required of him by the show. And to be perfectly honest, I think you two are doing a really great job. The producers are really fond of the both of you.”

I closed my eyes and scratched my forehead.

“I know that, Manager, but… don’t you think L’s going too fast?” I asked.

“I don’t think so. I think your pace is very much normal,” she answered without a thought.

I went silent.

“Be honest with me, Hanna. This is about Baekhyun, isn’t it?” she demanded, suddenly turning serious.

I bit my lip and nodded my head helplessly.

“I don’t want him to get hurt, Manager. He doesn’t deserve to feel that way,” I explained, my tone pleading. “Every time I’m with L, all I could think about is: ‘No, don’t do that. It might hurt him’ and ‘No, Baekhyun wouldn’t like that’. It’s like I’m being torn apart, Manager. I know I have a responsibility to the show but I also feel responsible towards Baekhyun. And now that L keeps doing those… those stuffs to me… it just makes everything more difficult.”

Manager Song stared at me and I could already feel my heart pounding as the comfort of finally having to say those words out loud washed through me. God, it felt nice to finally get it out of my system.

“Hanna…” she muttered, her eyes filled with a kind of emotion I cannot discern. “You’re not falling for L, are you?”

Manager Song’s words took me by surprise I cannot help but just gape at her.

“W-What?” I demanded, my voice getting louder. “What are you even talking about, Manager?”

I wanted to tell her so much how pointless her question is and how impossible that is to happen but she only stared at me with a serious expression on her face. She doesn’t seem to be kidding even for quite a bit.

“I just can’t understand why you’re getting so worked up about what L’s doing,” she explained. “I understand that you’re thinking about Baekhyun and how he would feel but… Why does it seem to me that you’re getting mad for some reason other than that, Hanna?”

“There’s no other reason, Manager,” I answered straightforwardly. “Baek is who I love and it’s a great impossibility that I would ever found someone other than him.”

Manager Song only stared at me silently for a few moments before she said, “Just make sure of that, Hanna. You know how much you’ll break him if ever that happens.”

I was intending to say a whole lot more when my phone suddenly buzzed. I took it and checked the message.

It was from L.

Hello, Hanna-ssi, it says simply.

I closed my eyes and turned my phone off in exasperation.

Manager Song and I didn’t speak to each other again after that.

***

“Baek?” I muttered as I lay comfortably against his chest, his arm draped around me. We’ve been quietly snuggling against each other for minutes and although I’m too tired from today, I can’t say I feel sleepy. It’s too rare for us to ever get the chance to do this and I know we’re both thinking the same thing – we need to treasure this moment while it still lasts.

“Hmm?” he moaned and I felt his chest vibrate. It was one of the most wonderful feelings, that feeling when you’re so close with the person you cherish most that you can feel everything that he does – his slightest move, his breaths, his heartbeats… It was nothing but perfect.

I pulled away from him so I could look at him face-to-face. His eyes were soft as he stared back at mine. I fought back the urge to kiss them.

“Y-You know…” I began and broke off. I sighed and touched the side of his face, willing myself to get the strength I need to speak to him. He stared at me, patiently waiting.

“You know the first episode’s going to---“

My words were cut off not by a phone suddenly ringing or a person suddenly knocking on my door. My words were interrupted when Baekhyun’s lips suddenly crashed against mine. I felt my eyes widened in surprise but slowly… they began to close.

The kiss didn’t last for long.

Baekhyun pulled away almost immediately, his breathing ragged.

He stared back at me again and whispered, “I know… Don’t you think I haven’t been dreading about it? It was all I could think about the whole day.”

He stopped and began to caress my cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned in to touch his forehead against mine. I cannot help but close my eyes, too. He sighed and I felt myself sigh also. It was like we were connected from the inside – like there’s something about us that actually attracts one another, like a same piece wounded perfectly together.

“But I don’t want to think about it anymore, Hanna. I’m with you right now and we’re together. Damn that show and damn all other things. This is what I just want to think about. You and I. We’re all that ever matters,” he muttered and I heard myself whimper as I slowly burst into tears. His lips were automatically on mine – kissing me, comforting me. He kissed m