CHAPTER 16

[Byun Baek Hyun’s POV]

If I could only stop tomorrow from coming… I would have done it.

If I could only go back to the past and stop myself from coming inside that damned car and getting myself stuck in this difficult situation… I would have done it.

If I could only protect Hanna from hurting… I would have done it.

If there is any way I could make things better… I would have done it.

But that wasn’t the case.

There is nothing I could do.

Maybe we’re really meant to fall apart in the first place.

***

Manager Song entered the living room in a rush. Our gazes followed her as she headed straight to the television and opened it, not a word spoken to us.

My gaze’s still on her when I suddenly heard my name being mentioned, making my attention shift to the  television screen.

And it was there.

The headline.

EXO’s Baekhyun and SNSD’s Taeyeon Confirmed Dating

My pulse accelerated, my breathing becoming ragged.

I forced myself to pay attention on what the reporter was saying, the loud thumping of my heart making it hard to concentrate.

“Dispatch has released photos of these two Idols allegedly on a date last night,” the male reported spoke in his clear and confident voice just as the photos flashed on the screen.

True enough, they were of last night’s.

Taeyeon kissing me on the cheek.

Taeyeon and I inside the car with the roof slid down.

The photos were caught in very precise angles that it was hard to say it was only a set up.

So it wasn't just anyone’s camera.

It wasn’t just anyone spying on us.

It was Dispatch.

Everyone believes anything Dispatch says.

Taeyeon really chose her allies well.

Murmurs flooded the room.

All the members were talking, whispering to one another – all, except to me.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just witnessed the birth of a magnificent couple,” the reporter continued to speak. “EXO’s Byun Baekhyun and SNSD’s Kim Taeyeon.”

Whatever the reported said after that was muffled by the sudden sound of something hitting the floor.

All our heads snapped towards the direction of the commotion.

It was Hanna.

She was standing on a pile of broken ceramics and sandwiches – her eyes glued on the television screen were wide, hanging slightly open.

She must’ve come back from preparing our breakfast in the kitchen and heard the last bit of the news.

Other than the shock in her face, no more emotions can be seen from her.

It’s like she still can’t process anything – like she can’t seem to absorb what she just heard.

I felt my heart drop to the ground.

She looked utterly small and weak and fragile.

My hands balled into fists as I fought myself to touch her.

God, I want to hug her. I want to kiss her. I want to tell her the truth. I want to comfort her. I want to tell her she's still the one I love and I have no intention of loving anyone else. I want to tell her that everything was a fraud. I want to tell her nothing is real but the fact that I love her and nothing will ever change that. 

I want to tell her a lot of things but I kept my silence.

Because the members are not allowed to know.

Because it would make the situation worse.

Everything just feels so ed up.

As she finally came back to her senses, she knelt down haphazardly and began cleaning up the mess.

I stood up from my seat reflexively, afraid she might cut herself with the shards.

But someone was faster than me.

Kyungsoo.

He was beside Hanna in an instant, helping her up.

“Just pick up the sandwiches,” he ordered, his tone serious. “Don’t bother with the shards. You might cut yourself.”

But Hanna doesn’t seem to be listening.

Even with her hands shaking convulsively, she was able to clean everything in a rush.

“E-Excuse me.... I… I’ll just make another one…” she muttered as she hastily ran off towards the kitchen.

Kyungsoo stood up, his eyes following Hanna.

I felt my heart constrict.

You don’t have any right to come near her, I told myself. Or help her. Or do anything for her.

The thought almost made me want to burst into tears.

I couldn't even imagine a world without Hanna.

A life without her... how can that even be called a life?

“Even Hanna’s surprised,” Chanyeol spoke, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He chuckled and continued, “What the hell was that, Baekhyun?”

I bit my lip.

Looking down, I answered, “I think the news pretty much explained everything.”

“So you two are dating?” Chen spoke this time. “You two are in a relationship?”

I dropped my head even lower. I can’t answer. I can’t even force myself to say yes. All I want to do right now is to explain the truth – that I don’t want this, that I was forced into a set up, that I don’t deserve this, that Hanna don’t deserve this. I want to tell them so bad that it’s Hanna I love and not Taeyeon, not anyone else. I just want to scream the whole truth out of my system.

I want all of this misery to end.

“Wow,” I heard Kai whisper. “Even though all of us expected it, it still feels quite surprising to hear the news finally break out.”

“But why now?” Kyungsoo demanded. My head snapped up and our eyes met. His were serious, demanding. He seemed annoyed – mad, even. What is wrong with him?

“What?” I snapped. I don’t know but something with the way he’s staring at me is making me want to hate him.

“Why now? You two have always acted like something’s happening between you two but every time we asked, you always said no,” he spoke, his voice sounding stiff and controlled, like he’s stopping himself from bursting. “So why admit now? You two have always met each other during late hours but no one ever caught you. And now someone did? What kind of joke is this?”

“This is for Kris isn’t it?” Suho suddenly asked, cutting Kyungsoo off.

Everyone’s eyes shifted to him.

He had his head bent down, his hands folded casually on his lap. He looked like he’s silently breaking apart.