CHAPTER 33

[Byun Baek Hyun’s POV]

“Where’s Hanna?” Suho asked as soon as he set foot on the doorway.

“Welcome home, hyung,” I answered sarcastically.

“Right. Hello, Baekhyun,” he answered back with the same amount of sarcasm then continued, “But still… Where is Hanna?”

I rolled my eyes and sighed in defeat.

“She’s upstairs, probably sleeping,” I replied but deep inside me, I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. After Taeyeon left almost three hours ago, I have spent the entire time seated on the couch, thinking what in the world I have just done. Hanna’s mad at me. And my conscience has been eating me up every passing minute.

“She’s asleep early,” Xiumin muttered as he made his way on the living room.

“Maybe she’s tired. She needs some rest,” Luhan answered and followed him suit. Soon all of us were gathered around in the living room, watching the news.

“The shooting turned out pretty fine didn’t it, Manager?” Chen asked when the sudden news topic disinterested him.

I bit my lip and pretend to look away.

This has been the topic I’ve been dreading.

Manager Song nodded her head in affirmation and raised a thumbs up sign which made the boys clap.

I cannot help but sigh.

“Aren’t you curious about everything you’ve missed, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol teased, wriggling his eyebrows at me.

I was about to make a sarcastic remark when Sehun suddenly intruded right from the kitchen.

“Baekhyun hyung! Why is there a box of pizza in here?” he yelled, directing everyone’s attention on me.

I felt myself tense.

“Uhh… That…” I began to stammer. I saw Manager Song giving me a kind of look and I felt myself slowly shedding sweat. “T-Taeyeon dropped by…”

“And she gave you pizza?” Lay chided. “She gave a sick person a pizza?”

“No, hyung. That was hers. Of course I didn’t eat pizza,” I said but back inside my head I was squirming. Stupid Baekhyun. Why did you eat that pizza? It’s a bait! Now she knows you’re only faking a disease!

“But still… that’s so sweet of her,” Chanyeol chimed in, wriggling his eyebrows again.

“Yeah. What did Baekhyun do to deserve her,” Chen added and they high fived.

I know I was meant to get offended but the kind of look Manager Song was giving me only made me feel scared rather than annoyed. She suddenly stood up from her seat, making me flinch in fear.

“I’m gonna go check on Hanna,” she said as she bounded the stairs without another word.

The others boys only shrugged and went back on watching the television.

“Do you have some extra food in here, hyung? I’m really starving,” Tao asked without even a few minutes later.

“I’ll go check the fridge,” Kyungsoo answered politely. “I’ll see what I can savage.”

In the end, Kyungsoo was able to find the food Hanna prepared for me but I never get to touch. They began feasting on it while I decided to be left alone on the couch to ponder at my own thoughts.

Why did you let Taeyeon step on Hanna like that? I asked myself for the thousandth time. How could you let Taeyeon undermine her like that?

I sighed in frustration as I hid my face in my hands.

I know the reason I never went up to talk to Hanna is because I am embarrassed and disappointed of myself. I have let her down. And now I don’t have the confidence to face my mistake.

“You better talk to her,” Manager Song suddenly spoke behind me, making me jump. I pressed a hand on my chest, feeling my palpitation. She sat beside me and continued, “She’s really upset you know.”

I nodded my head and replied, “I know…”

It took a few moments of silence before I finally dared to ask, “Is she crying, Manager?”

“No,” she answered quickly. “But she looked like she just did.”

I closed my eyes as I ducked my head.

I literally want to punch myself right now.

I am such a jerk and I know it.

God, I hate making her cry.

I felt Manager Song’s hand on mine. She gave me a slight press.

“It’s okay, Baek,” she whispered. “I don’t know what exactly happened in here but I know you’ll work it out. You always do.”

At this, I somehow felt better.

Yes, we’ll be okay. We’ll find a way to work things out. We always do.

Manager Song stood up and headed towards the kitchen. I heard her say goodbye to the boys before passing back in front of me to leave. I stood up and led her outside.

“Smile now,” she said as she pulled me into a hug before boarding the van. “The boys will notice. Cheer up.”

I forced back a smile on her as I slid the van’s door closed and she went off, leaving me standing all alone outside.

I don’t know how many hours had passed before I heard the door behind me open and close – a signal that I have a visitor.

“What’s our Baekhyun doing out here all alone?” Kyungsoo asked, throwing a can of beer in my direction. I caught it just before it hit the ground.

I scoffed and held the beer up high.

“You’re giving me a beer?” I demanded in disbelief. “You’re giving a sick guy a beer?”

Kyungsoo smirked and shook his head. He popped his can open and took a swig as he sat on the doorstep.

“Come on, Baek, we both know you’re not sick,” he said, making my jaw drop. Kyungsoo must’ve noticed my lack of reply and so he suddenly looked up, a playful smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.

“I’m just kidding,” he suddenly spoke. “Just go and have a drink with me. Don’t tell me I’m the rule-breaker now and you’re the one who’s obedient.”

I chuckled uncomfortably and sat beside him. I popped my can open and took a huge gulp out of pure nervousness. Something about Kyungsoo’s tone is making me think that he has an ulterior motive for doing this – that he knows something more than I know he does.

“I was thinking,” I answered carefully. “That’s why I’m here.”

He nodded his head in understanding and asked, “About?”

I bit my lip as I contemplated for the safest answer.

“Nothing. Just… random stuffs. About the concert… Our career… Just anything I could think of,” I blabbered and knew in an instant that I was busted.

Stupid, Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo laughed and shook his head.

“You mean love life?” he demanded and I noticed a weird kind of spark in his eyes.

“Uhh… Huh… What?” I blabbered again and I smacked myself mentally. What is wrong with you, Byun Baekhyun?

Kyungsoo took a shot of his beer as he looked up to gaze at the sky. Suddenly, he felt unreachable. Like he is in a different dimension other than where I am in.

“You know… I may look like I am inexperienced when it comes to love but there is one thing I know for sure…” he muttered almost to himself. He sighed and as he continued, he somehow sounded dreamy or like in a state of trance, “You have to let go of the things that hurt or burden you then go start chasing after the ones that make you happy.”

I drank then look at the sky, just like him. Somehow, it relieved a bit of the anxiety I was feeling. It was relaxing. Like I can speak openly about anything without worrying that there’s someone right beside me who could actually hear me out.

“But what if chasing after the one that makes me happy means an unending chase?” I asked, the words suddenly coming out freely. “What if it means a long, bumpy road, that goes on forever?”

Kyungsoo took another shot again before answering me, “That’s impossible.”

This grabbed my attention.

“Oh really?” I challenged, looking down to stare at him. “How do you say so?”

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