Ari POV

Relationships are hard, they are tough.. but most of the time you can tell when things started to fall apart, when you two drifted apart, but now..

I keep on wondering, thinking of how and when Junmyeon and I went wrong.. Everything was going good, I started to like him again and…

I hear a loud knock on my door and Cho walks in, holding up something sweet. She gives me a hug and looks at the house I am starring at

“Well that looks nice, are you moving?”

“No but it feels like Junmyeon is uncomfortable were we are living now, so might be better to move.”

“So you two are going to move there after you two say I do” Cho is looking surprised at me, since she knows everything that is going on, she is strongly against us getting married at all.

“I don’t know…” I click it away and look out the window “I really don’t know anymore”

“Well lets talk about something a little bit more fun then, your birthday”

“My birthday, you do realize my birthday isn’t here for the next 3 months or so”

“still, how is going to be there, how are you going to celebrate, tell”

“I don’t know… Hyukjae, Siwon and Donghae will be in the army at that time, so I don’t know.. I suppose I should celebrate before hand”

“Yea you should.. It seems that your birthday isn’t that far away in the end” She winks at me and tells me she should get back to her job as well. I nod and she leaves after giving me one last hug and saying not to worry about it, everything will be okay. But that is always easy to say if it isn’t happening to you.

 

I open the photo of the house again and I still don’t know how to fix things. How we went wrong. If we are fixable. Drifted of in my thoughts I end up by Hyukjae’s door. Why..how did I end up  by his door.. I am about to turn away when the door opens an Hyukjae looks at me with shock.

“Oppaa~ are we going!?  What are you waiting for” A girls annoying voice pops and she takes his arm, tugging it before seeing me.

“Who are you” Her voice turns harsh and then it hits me, it is her… The girl that kissed Donghae… I feel my sink even deeper and I look at Hyukjae, he has gotten pale, removing the girls hands from him…

“I forgot I had this appointment, I am sorry” He talks to the girl and instead of avoiding my eyes looks straight into mine, making sure I am okay…

“What.” She  gives me dead stares, but she shouldn’t have started, I will freaking… “Okay well call me tomorrow oppa”  She heads of and bumps her shoulder against mine. I ignore her and wait for the sound of the elevator. Still making eye contact with Hyukjae, I feel that my heart has stopped beating…

Her…I didn’t know he had another girl, I didn’t… Without me realizing it, my tears start to fall and I feel Hyukjae slowly stepping forward me and whipping them away, I slowly remove his hands and he looks so worried at me, not sure what to say, what to do

“Ar-“

“Don’t.” I make him stop talking and I feel anger boiling up in me

“Her! Really her! You are sleeping with her! How..” He pulls me into a hug and I try to fight him off, even kicking him

“She tre-“

“No don’t even start!” He finally lets go and I can’t stop my tears, why do I care so much.. We aren’t even together anymore. I shouldn’t care

“Ari..” I can see how hurt he is as well, but I don’t care, I want him to feel what I feel “you are sleeping with her, how could you! You are just as bad as her! You-“

Hyukjae puts his hand around my waist and pulls me into kiss me. I feel his soft lips and my breath halters…. I feel my heart bonking so hard.. What is going  on… I quickly push him off and slap him across the face, I watch as how his face grows with shock and hurt..

“Don’t contact me” I turn around and quickly walk to the elevator and luckily he is here in a second, I can feel Hyukjae whispering my name and in the mirror I can see a tear rolling down his cheek.

I hide my face,  I don’t want him to see me, my blushed cheeks, my tears… I don’t know why but I am mad at him, but more than that… I just want to kiss him again.

 

 

Hyukjae POV

 

I am still looking out the window when Kyuhyun slowly taps me on my shoulder, he makes me jump and looks at me with worried and I see Cho also looking at me with worried eyes

“What happened?” Kyuhyun sits down next to me and I just let my heart out

I explain him everything, how our former stylist treated to go the press with the information that Arian and Donghae were engaged, that they were still seeing one another, so I dated her to keep her quit, I basically just did what she asked...

“Why didn’t you tell us about this, we could have resolved it”

“I didn’t want Ari to be embarrassed by this, to have this come out in the press, I just didn’t want to put her trough any more harm ways.”

“Okay, but why did I just see her being escorted out of our building?”

“Ari came by..” I see both of them looking in shock at me and I nod “yea.. she saw her standing next to me, saying all kind of sweet bull and after she left..Ari just.. She became mad, sad, she..” I pause and I take my time to finally say out loud what I have been processing all a long “I hurt her”

“did you try to explain what was going on? Why she was there?”

“I tried, but.. I kissed her and she slapped me across the face telling me not to contact her anymore”

“You what!” Kyu stands up hands in his hair “You do realize she is still engaged to Suho right?”

“I know…”

“Then… why did you kiss her? Do you.. “ I interrupt him by saying I don’t know why and together with Cho they stand up to leave “Hyung I think you do know. I think you still love her, you are just to scared to admit to it and to finally go for it..”

They leave and I let his words sink in, even though I have not been wanting to admit to this.. Deep inside I know he is right, but for as long as I can keep it hidden, kept far away, it won’t be true… I shall ignore it, cause the only thing I want is for her to be happy…

 

“Yo Hyukjae where are you?”

“I just parked so I will be there in a second” I quickly hang up on Siwon and head in the restaurant. I really wanted to cancel, but Siwon has been looking forward to spending some time together so I really just couldn’t cancel on him. I walk in and Siwon seems glad to see me.

“How have you been!”

“Good just busy with some things”

“yea what have you been doing?”

I explain him about everything and mostly about what happened this afternoon. Siwon is now just sitting in silence in front of me. I told him everything and he listened carefully to every word, interrupting me only to ask me to explain it more. But now, having him just sitting there, not saying anything it just makes me nervous.. Anxious... ooh so nervous

“Okay well first off. You kissed her..” I nod and Siwon looks a bit disappointed at me “She is engaged Hyukjae.. I know you still love her, but”

“I know it isn’t right. But I just.. I panicked and I just went with my guts and after she left it really set in what I did”

“I know, I just.. You have to tell her, explain to her about what is really going on”

“She isn’t picking up any of my calls, answering any of my texts, I really hurt her Siwon”

“So don’t give up, you hurt her, but what you did was something incredible. Explain it to her, don’t give up.”

“And then what? Isn’t it better just for her to hate me? This way she will be far away from me, I won’t be tempted anymore…”

“you mean better and easier for you”

Siwon gives me a knowing look and I sigh, he is right.. “I don’t know what or how she feels about you, but one thing is clear you are important to her. You are one of her closes friends and this.. Right now she must feel betrayed, so yea letting this just be might be easier for you, your feeling might die down, but Ari will still be hurt. Will still be feeling betrayed by someone how she toughed she could trust. “

“I didn’t really think about it in that way…” Siwon gives me a smile “ I will talk to her, I just..”

“take your time, just tell her. Whether she believes it or not is on her, but just tell her”

 

 

Ari POV

 

I am still sitting in my car, after leaving Hyukjae I just wanted to drive as far away as I could, which I did, but you can’t escape reality for ever. But just for a minute longer would be nice. My phone goes off again and it is Hyukjae again, he has been texting and calling me every second it seems after I left. I shouldn’t have hit him, but.. I.. Ugh.. I let out a sigh and lean my head onto my stearin wheel, I walked to Hyukjae to escape the drama not to create more.

“Ari?” A knock on my window makes me jump and I see Junmyeon standing there, looking confused at me. This must seem weird to him, me sitting in the car head leaning on the stearin wheel. I get out of the car and we are now just standing awkwardly next to each other. I truly hoped to avoid this situation for a bit longer.

“Can we talk”

“I think we should” I respond colder to him then I mean and he just nods, we walk inside and it seems that Rosa isn’t here, what is something I am glad about right now.

“So..” Junmyeon starts of awkwardly and I am also not sure how to begin, mostly I don’t want to begin. Before I start raging I just want to hear his side. “I feel like lately we have just been living past each other and not with each other”

“we have.. We don’t talk about our days anymore, about anything really, we don’t spend time together we just.. We both share this house but nothing more”

“I am glad that isn’t only me, but it also makes me sad.. How do we fix this, our wedding is coming closer… Your father told me that he picked it to be in the summer”

“You do realize that is in a few months right!?” I look in disbelieve at Junmyeon and he nods

“How are we going to get married in a few months when we can’t even life together for more then 3”

“So lets fix this, lets fix it!” Junmyeon stands up and he looks helpless

“it shouldn’t be something that needs fixing, it should make us happy, but we are both miserable!”

“I am not, miserable”

“You are not, o really!” I roll my eyes and Junmyeon seems to get a bit angry as well

“What is that supposed to mean”

“so that you come in late, drunk means you are happy then! We haven’t shared a meal since I can remember! You come in late, stay away most of the time, you don’t even let me know that you aren’t coming home”

“Because I am staying home!” Junmyeon shouts out and he seems to regret it immediately “Ari I didn’t mean that, I..”

“You did, and you are right, this doesn’t feel like your home, because it is not. It is mine, we don’t have a home together, we don’t. “ I sit down and he takes my hands in his, carefully caressing my cheek making eye contact with me, what allows me to see the sadness in his eyes

“So lets get a home for us two, lets make one”

“You don’t get  it do you.. The problem isn’t that we don’t have a home for us, the problem is us”

“No we can still fix this! We can work this out”

“How? Tell me  how we are going to work through this”

“Lets go on holiday, lets spend more time together, lets go back to the old days”

“Perhaps we have been trying to hard to go back in time”

“What do you mean?” Junmyeon looks confused at me and I just let out a little smile

“We have been trying to build on what we had, loving the persons we were then, but we aren’t anymore. We are different, we just.. We are living in the past, loving old memories”

After talking about everything we are just sitting in silence next  to each other, not wanting to give up.. I don’t know how to move forward anymore, neither does he. We both know that we are going to get married no matter what we feel, but it would be nice to at least to be able to tolerate on another.

“How are we going to fix this” Junmyeon breaks the silence and I give him a helpless smile

“We could try to be more considerate towards each other. I know you are still insecure about Donghae and I”

“I am sorry about how I reacted when I saw you two together in the hospital, I really toughed you two were seeing each other again.”

“It is okay oppa”

“No it is not, I didn’t trust you, so I am sorry for that.”

“I will spend less time with them, try to bond more with exo. Maybe that will help” He takes my hand with a smile and I can see that he is really happy with that idea

“I would really like that. I will let you know when I am running late, not eating home or spending the night with the guys”

“Okay so lets try this”

 

 

  **

 

I have been trying all day to focus on work, but my thoughts keep drifting back to either the conversation I had with Junmyeon or what happened with Hyukjae. My phone still keeps going off, but less then yesterday. I still haven’t listened to my voicemails that he left, but I am scared to. I told Junmyeon I would try to separate myself more of them, but I still find myself drifting back to them, to him.. I quickly shake the thought of me and I tell someone to come in.

“Cho!” she walks in and holds up a cup of coffee and I give her a gratefull smile “You know exactly what I need, can’t we get married”

“Anytime” We both laugh and she seems happy, I am glad that Kyu and her are in a really good place “Ari yesterday I was with Kyu and we also saw Hyukjae”

“Ooh please don’t start. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, well are you okay?”

“I am okay, yesterday was just to much. I also talked to Junmyeon about our entire situation” we sit down and I can see her discomfort by me mentioning that we are going to get married regardless of how we feel.

“Ooh and, are you guys still going to get married?”

“We don’t really have a choice, that is going to happen regardless of how we feel, but we talked about everything and we are going to try to make things work to fix it”

“It seems to me that the only thing you two do is fixing things.. “ She gets up but before she opens the door she looks at me hesitatingly “ I know you don’t want to hear this, but a relationship shouldn’t be only fixing things.. It should come with a certain effortless, just like it was between Hyukjae and you”

Before I can object to her she quickly leaves and I really shouldn’t follow her. I sit down again and let her words sink in, it doesn’t matter. I have decided, I am going to make this work, we are going to make this work.. We are going to fix it. I take out my phone and call a real-estate agent

“Hello, yes I am looking for a home”

 

Donghae POV

 

We are all gathered for our planned dinner, but Ari still isn’t here. And it is not like her to just not come without letting someone know she isn’t coming and now I can’t help but worry about her. I know we, that it isn’t my place anymore, but I can’t help it. It is to hard to just shut all my feeling down, saying it is easy, but actually moving on. I am not sure that I want to yet.

“have you guys heard anything from Ari?” We are all gathered but Ari still isn’t here. I have tried to contact her, but she is just radio silent for the past days.

“I haven’t but we planned this dinner weeks ago, she hasn’t forgotten has she?” Heechul sits down on the couch and I look for Hyukjae, he is sitting next to Siwon

“Hyuk have you heard from her? Is she coming?” He avoids me and looks at Siwon

“She has been so busy, I don’t know maybe she forgot” I look at Hyukjae and he seems to be very touchy about her since a few days ago. Avoiding eye contact, just looking down, avoiding to talk about her all the gather. I am not sure what is going on, but I don’t like it.

“Okay well I will call her one more time then”

I call her one more time but she still doesn’t pick up.. What is going on!? I am sure she is okay, but I can’t help but be worried.. I know Junmyeon and her had problems, maybe she is holding her distance from us because of it? I don’t know anymore.  I send her a text and I just hope she will respond soon.

 

**

 

I arrive at SM to practice, looking for a parking spot.. Wait… I am about to head in when I see a car.. Yea it is her car! I take a look around, but she isn’t outside, maybe? I quickly head inside and trying to look everywhere for her, but I can’t seem to find her.

Time is running out and I don’t really have more time to look for her, I am already late for practice. I run towards our practice room when I bump into someone

“I am sorry” I am about to run off when I recognize the perfume “Ari” I turn around and she is looking in shock at me, I quickly give her a hug “I was worried about you, why didn’t you answer any of my calls or texts?”

“I..I.. Ehm.. I was trying to hold my distance” she slightly pushes me away from her and I am not sure what is happening right now

“What do you mean? Distance, why?”

“Ari are you ready to go?” I hear Junmyeons voice and I guess  I was right. She is keeping her distance from us for him, Ari looks at me one last time. I call out her name on more time and she mouths at me Tonight at 8, our spot. I look at them leaving together and Junmyeon gave a small, polite wave. I look at them leave and they seem so distant to one an other, not in love at all. Seems like the problems haven’t gone away, they just have become worse.

“So how is buying tonight? Donghae!?” Heechul wraps his arm around my shoulder but I shake my head “sorry I already have plans. I have to run as well.” Before meeting Ari I would like to have a nice shower and not be so soaked in sweat of our rehearsel

“Ooh well with whom?” Everyone is looking at me in surprise “With Ari”

“Oohh” Everyone seems relaxed for a second, but now they are looking at me with even more surprise and excitement. I look at Hyukjae and he is staring to the ground. He really has been sad these days, a bit down.

“Well guys I have to go” I grab my bag and head out only to bump into Junmyeon, well couldn’t this be better timing. He apologizes and he seems angry, but yet there is still something sad surrounding him as well. I hope that Ari is okay though… That his mood has nothing to do with her.

 

I am sitting down on the bench and he sky is so colorful tonight. I can’t help but take a few photo’s and I must have been so concentrated, but I didn’t even notice Ari arriving and now sitting down on the bench just looking at me. I point the camera at her and shoot a few pictures of her quickly.

“Hi” I greet her softly and she greats me almost the same, I sit down next to her and we are both staring at the sky

“Isn’t it beautiful” I look at Ari and I agree with her “So beautiful” She makes eye contact with me and chuckles “I was talking about the sky”

“I know” I nod and look at the sky as well “I was talking about you” I try to mumble it, but not too soft, so she would still hear it.  I look over to her and I can see that she is blushing

“How have you been? You have been blowing us of, not answering our calls even bailing on the dinner?”

“the dinner?” She seems to be molding it over for a while, but then looks at me so apologizing “I totally forgot”

“Don’t worry about it, we already figured that you have busy and just forgot us”

“Well so far for not blaming me or giving me an even bigger guilty conscious”

“I am just joking with you, but to be fair the guys were a bit hurt”

“I will make it up” She looks so determined and stares back to the sky. I study her face and it so easy to see how tired she is.

“How are you?” She thinks a while before answering

“I am managing. I am just figuring something out, making things clear”

“your brother?”

“Well he is still in the hospital, we aren’t allowed to visit him, he is apparently to sick” I take her hand and squeeze it soflty “It will be okay” She gives me a smile and takes her time to study my face this time. I feel my cheeks burning up and luckily she looks  back to the sky

“You look better than the last times I have seen you. How have you been?”

“I am also managing.” She laughs and I missed her little giggle

“Busy much?”

“Yea, why?”

“Well that is to bad…” She stands up and bites her lip lightly “I am free tonight and there is one movie I really wanted to see”

“Really?” I stand up aswell and she nods as she walks away “But you are busy so..”

“Well I might be able to make some time free” I give her a smirk and walk closer to her, I take her hand and she smiles “Good I would like that”

 

 

 

Ari POV

 

We are eating together for the first time in a long time, but it feels so weird. We are trying to talk the right way, to keep a conversation going but.. It feels weird..

And surely as expected today days later we are just eating apart. Together but apart not saying a word to one another, walking the door out every morning, meeting for dinner just.. Just like business. We are just 2 strangers living together.

“I am going, I will see you tonight” I finished breakfast earlier then Junmyeon and he nods, without even looking up from his phone. I try not to get irritated by it and just walk out the door, it is getting ridiculous though.

 

“Dad” Having lunch with my father is always nice, seeing him, but lately he has been very stressed so even that hasn’t been fun at all. 

“where is your fiancé”

“He isn’t coming dad, just you and I” I sit down and order immediately. I look at my father and he seems so sick. “Are you okay dad?” He just nods and puts his phone away, ohoh it is getting serious

“How is the wedding planning going? Found a dress yet?”

“No I haven’t yet, but I might go shopping today and find one.”

“Good, I made that appointment for you, I am glad that you are going to this one” I just nod and take another bite “your step mother is coming as well, so please behave”

“Yes I will, did you tell her to behave as well?”

“Arian” I apologize, but I can see a little smile forming on my father lips.  “How are you two doing?”

“We are fine dad, so far as our situation can allow of course”

“Arian, we are not arguing about this again”

“I just can’t believe that you won’t allow me to find my own happiness and force me to just”

“Arian.” I stop and my dad seems so displeased “We will talk about this in private”

“Okay okay”  The rest of the dinner we are having some chit chat about work and other things, but there is something he wants to tell me. He has that look, what exactly makes me so nervous.

“Aah sweety one last thing, I am thinking of putting your brother more in charge of things, so don’t be shocked if you see some changes in the coming time”

“Sorry?” I put my fork down and I can’t believe what I am hearing “What is he going to do with it? He is in the hospital”

“For when he comes out”

“wow.. Okay” I get my bag and my coat and stand up “Where are you going Arian”

“Everything between us has been even, but now you want him to have even more?” I walk away, regardless of my dad calling me out.

 

I park my car and here I am, the wedding dress boutique. Isn’t this going to be great. While calling Cho I step out of the car, I do hope she will be here anytime soon, I really don’t want to go there all alone.

“I am here! I am here!” Cho stops next to me, puffing out, quickly giving me a hug before we head inside

“Ooh look at this one” She pulls me to the one she is looking at and she is looking so excited “Doesn’t this remind you of the ti”

“Remind you of what?” Even by hearing her awful voice my face tenses up.  “By a dress we saw online, of that”

“Well how nice. Nice that you are here as well” She looks at Cho for a second before giving her attention to the lady here to help us.

 

After looking around for a while, I put on the first dress. I stare at myself in the mirror, the lady beside me all oozing about how great I look. But I.. It is not that the dress isn’t nice, it is just that the person it for isn’t.

I step on out and they are all looking at me in awh “Well calm down, this is dress one” I tell them, but they seem to really like this princess look on me.

“Well lets try on the next one”

After trying 5 other dresses on the mermaid dress I am putting on right now, might be the one for me. I step on out finding one other person standing there waiting for me. I see my stepmother looking at me with disgust back and fort between Donghae and I. I step on out and I can see that Donghae can’t get his eyes of me.

“Is this the one?” My stepmother still looking at Donghae and I just nod “good, I will be going. Your dad would like the know how everything here has gone.”

“I will go and change” I quickly head back and the lady gets my dress separate and tells me that they will call when the fitting is done. I get my stuff and see that Cho send me a text, telling me she really liked the dress and will talk to me tomorrow.

“Hi” I see donghae sitting down waiting for me and he gets up with a sad smile, how many times have I seen that… How many times have I hurt him...?

“Lets go” we head outside and he slowly takes my key and gets into the drivers seat.

“Donghae?” We have been driving in silence when we finally arrive to his place. “Lets talk inside, okay?” I nod and he gets out the car, still gathering my things he opens the door before I can and holds his hand out for me to grab it. I take his hand and we quickly head inside before anyone can see us.

“Here” I put down a cup of tea for him and he gives me a smile “thanks”

“So how was lunch with your father?”

“Well..” I look at him and he seems determined not to talk about it so I might as well just focus on this conversation “It was weird, I tried to talk him about him forcing me to marry someone and he didn’t want to talk about it and later he told me he is giving more power to my brother”

“Even more?”

“Yeah” Donghae also seems confused, since he knows how much more power he has gotten in the family business in the past year only it is a bit confusing he gets more and more. “It is all a bit weird. He has been getting more and more to do, what at first I was so happy with. But now that they are taking it from me, it is getting a bit..” I don’t want to sound as a spoiled or entitled brat, but we are suppose to share. “What is even worse, I am marrying his cousin. What gives him even more power, our supporters, investors will know think that he owns everything since I am marrying into his family.”

“Giving him more and more power” I look at Donghae, this is all too weird “You should talk to your father about it”

“I know, I will. I will go over after spending some time with you” I smile at him and he blushes a little “You know I send you where I was, but I never thought you would be coming.”

“I know, otherwise you would have never sent it to me” I nod and he looks down “It is okay, it is the reality, we might wish for something else, that it is was us. But that is not how it turned out to be.”

“I won’t give up to talk to my dad about it, I will convince him, since everything that has happened. The fact that we aren’t allowed to visit my brother, something isn’t right here”

“Hey, hey” He pulls me down next to him and I sit down next him, wrapping his arms around me, laying my head onto his chest “It isn’t right what we are doing, but it won’t change how much I love you”

I can’t help but smile, the past days we have been spending every second we could together. I haven’t told him about Hyukjae what happened and I know I should at some point, but talking to Hyukjae before it might be wiser. Ignoring the fact that I have been ignoring every attempt that he has done to contact me, I still haven’t even listened to his voicemail he has left me or read the text messages he has send me.

 

“I should go, I will talk to my dad, maybe talk some sense into him” I give him a quick kiss

“Ari don’t be to mad at him okay” I nod and quickly head out to meet my father. I arrive home and quickly walk to my father’s home, I hope that the witch isn’t home yet.  The housekeeper lets me in and I see my dad sitting behind his desk. Always working…

“Arian, here already?” He stands up immediately and calls for the housekeeper

“Yes I decided to come a bit earlier.” He asks for some tea and she leaves again, we sit down

“Dad I know this is a touchy subject, but please hear me out”

“I will, so tell me what do you want to talk about”

“Okay I have been thinking. “ I put down my cup of tea and I cough a bit.. “Well since a year ago my brother has been getting more and more power. Now that I am marrying into his family he will be gaining even more. Our investors, partners, everyone will think that the company belongs to him. Even now you are giving him more and we can’t even see him, don’t you think that is a bit weird. I… Stella was in on all of it, she wants me marry her cousin, that her son gets more power, now that he is in the hospital we aren’t even allowed to see him. Isn’t that too suspicious?”

“Arian”

“Dad you are giving in to her, you can’t make me marry her cousin”

“Is this what it is al really about? Your marriage to Junmyeon”

“No dad, it is about the entire picture!”

“Arian this is enough. You will get married to Junmyeon”

“Why is that huh! You never even liked him, but suddenly she mentioned his name how well it would be for the family and then he is suddenly the best thing that ever happened?!!”

“Arian that is not” My dad seems to be thinking

“Dad think about it! Just think!”

“Arian!” I stop talking and we are both standing up.

“Dad I am begging you, think about it” I take my coat and walk out his room, out of his house, out of his sight.

 

Hyukjae POV

I have tried and tried to contact Ari, but she doesn’t read my texts, ignores my calls. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am now even here sitting Jungsoo asking him to help me talk to Ari how to make things right.

“Just talk to her” I look at Jungsoo and I roll my eyes over “Hyung I have explained to you, she doesn’t answer any of my calls, my text, anything. I am trying to talk to her”

“Hyukjae there are other ways then texting or calling, since she doesn’t read or picks up, maybe go and pay her a visit.”

“but what if she still doesn’t listen to me” Jungsoo takes some food of my plate and gives me a simple look “Then you try again. Just go and visit her”

“I will… Shall I go now?” I am already standing up and Jungsoo is looking confused at me

“Do you have any idea how late it is?” I look at my phone and he is right, might not be smart to go right now “How about you go in the morning?”

“In the morning, yes that would be smarter a lot smarter.” I sit back down and I feel the nerves already taking me over.

“Hey, don’t be nervous. What you were doing was a good thing. You just have to explain it to her and then everything will be okay” I nod but it is easy for him to say, he isn’t the one that tomorrow has to stand in front of her and explain how and why.

 

You would think that a good night sleep would make everything better, well it doesn’t. Right now I am standing in front of her house. Doubting everything. Is it smart to come this early? Last night it truly felt like a smart idea, but now that I am standing here.. It doesn’t really. I hope she isn’t asleep... I look at my phone, no she will be awake.  

The door is opened by Rosa and she seems pleasantly surprised to see me here, she lets me in and tells me she will let Ari know I am here. What practically is going to mean, she is going to come back and tell me I have to leave, if I am lucky.

“Rosa, did you see where “ Ari stops talking and looks at me, directly at me, shocked. I see Rosa arriving

“Miss I was looking for you, but I see that you have already found your guest”

“Yes thank you Rosa”

“I will go out for some groceries, anything you would like me to bring? She directs her question at the both of us and we both shake our heads, she leaves and after the door closes Ari finally moves. She puts the folders she has been holding down on a table and turns her back on to me.

“Why are you here Hyukjae”

“I need to talk to you” I take a few steps forward but she quickly turns around and by her gaze I can tell that I shouldn’t take a step forward

“Look the only thing I will ask is that you listen to me, you don’t have to respond, you don’t have to accept, just. Please just listen to me” She nods and I take a deep breath

“This goes all back to the awards we all attended, when you saw the stylist kiss Donghae, he told her that he was going to marry someone else. Pushed her off and we all toughed that would be the end of it. Well only a few days later she came knocking on my door, treating to expose everything about Donghae and you.” I explain her everything, how I tried to keep her quite by giving her something she wanted, dating a celebrity. I tried to make her stop from telling everything and we finally had a legit case when she came up to my door and saw me and her together. I tell her everything, everything. I just hope that she will understand. “You don’t have to forgive me, I… I just miss my best friend and I don’t want you to think that I did this with the purpose of hurting you, I was trying “ I finally look up by to arms wraps around me “to protect you” I finish my sentence and hug her back

“I am so sorry… I am so sorry.” She whispers and I softly caress her head before placing a kiss on the crown of her head “You didn’t know, you toughed I was just fooling around with her. I get it”

“No no I didn’t even give you a change to explain yourself. I was to busy thinking of myself, how I felt. Not about what the reason behind it might have been. I have ignored every attempt you have done to explain it to me”

“I am just happy that you listened to me now, that is all that matters.”

“One other thing, I am sorry I slapped you. I shouldn’t have.” She cups my cheek and I can feel my cheeks turning red “I shouldn’t have kissed you, it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, the timing was totally off”

“Yeah the circumstances weren’t exactly right.” We separate and we are both red “Might be the thing I regret the most of that day” Ari looks surprised at me and I let my eyes wander of to her lips “I wished our first kiss would have been in a more special way” Ari still looking big eyed at me, I softly caress her face and let my thumb softly touch her under lip.

“I have to go, the guys and I have planned to meet up before practice”

“Okay, I will walk you out” Together we head for the door and she is about to open the door for me when I pull her into a back hug “Thank you for listening again” I give her a kiss on the cheek before leaving, I know I shouldn’t have. But I listen to my heart beating incredibly fast, I can’t help it that I have fallen for her. But I know it isn’t right and I won’t do it again. She is going to get married, I had my chance and I blew it.

I step in my car about to drive off, but the person in my review mirror, is that Donghae? I look back, but the person is gone, strange that person looked exactly like Donghae. I am probably just picturing it, why would Donghae be here anyway.

 

Donghae POV

 

I stare at Hyukjae getting in his car, his cheeks red. I look down, I have to talk to her. I walk up to her house and I open the door. I look for Ari and I see her sitting down on the sofa studying something.

“Hey” I make her jump a little, but that changes quickly into a smile “Hii I didn’t expect you, weren’t meeting up for dinner?”

“Yes we were” I can’t help but feel like she had the entire morning planned with Hyukjae, maybe even the evening, did she even talk to her father or was that just a cover up for meeting Hyukjae. Ooh this is ridiculous, I am here being bothered about her cheating on me when I am already ‘the other guy’.

“What is going on?” She stands up and grabs my hand. Looking worried at me, her sweet eyes. I caress her cheek, probably just like Hyukjae did. I sit down on the sofa and Ari is now even more worried. I know that what I am thinking right now is not from seeing Hyukjae here or being worried about her cheating, it is about something deeper, something we never talked about.

“Can we talk about us?” She nods and sits down next to me

“We probably should have the day I came to drop of … Drop of that box” She tries to make light of the situation and I nod “We should have done it then, but we can do it now as well” I give her comforting smile.

“Look I know that hasn’t been easy with us, having my father telling me to marry someone else. My trying to fix it, but instead I kept this big secret from you. I should have been honest.”

“You are right it isn’t easy between us, but I don’t think that your engagement has anything to do with it. Well a part of course, but mostly it is between us.”

“What do you mean”

“I don’t think I can be with you” I see her face dropping and she looks confused at me

“What do you mean?”

“I saw Hyukjae leaving before I came, has he spend the night?”

“No he came this morning, we had something to hash out between us. We haven’t talked for days, what has he to do with us”

“Everything!”

“How has he to everything with us!?” She stands up and looks at me confused “What do you mean! This is between us!”

“Our relationship went wrong because we were hiding things from each other, we weren’t complitly honest with one an other.”

“What do you mean! I hide the fact that I was forced to marry someone else, but what were you hiding.. What are you talking about!?” She looks at me and I see now there is no going back. I have been  in silence, and I can see that Ari is getting more and more confused. “Donghae you come here telling me something totally diferent then what I have been hearing the past days. Didn’t you say you wanted to be with me that you still loved me, that you didn’t care about Junmyeon. “

“I did, I meant that”

“Then what is this all about!?”  I look at Ari and she is lifting her hands up in frustration, looking angered, confused at me. I get it I have been confusing, I have been saying this, doing something else, but I  never told her how I truly felt.

“You told me you were taken, do not worry.” She turns to face me again “You said that you would never leave me.” I finally let out my true thoughts and her face turns gloomy. “You promised me” I try not to show how much I am hurt, but seeing her extending her hand towards me I know she can see it, she can feel it, that she knows.

“Donghae.. I.. I did say that and I haven’t. I am still here”

“No.. that is the point  you are not!” I make distance between us and I am letting it all out

“You were never mine! You promised something you didn’t understand! Maybe because you are young, but” 

“I was yours, what are you saying!?”

“Loving someone is wanting to be with that person, to spend the rest of your life with that person. To hold them when they are down, to comfort them. To make them happy, comfortable, to love them with every and every fiber in your entire body. To ensure them that you only have eyes for them, only them. They are the one for you. That you love them that you imagine your kids together, the house you will buy and one day be old and gray together. That is what being in love with someone means to me.”

“I did love you” She looks stunned at me and I can’t help but shake my head

“ Not once did I truly feel like I was yours, that the only guy in the room for you was me. I am not saying you cheated but.. I was never yours”

“Donghae you were”

“Really.. Did you ever think about taking me home, to you hometown?” I question her and she looks surprised at me “I wanted  you to come to Mokpo the next day that I met you. Did you ever think about our childrens names?” I give her a second to respond but nothing

“I always had the stupid idea to name my children Lee tian kong, lee hai yang, lee yun duo. But with you I had another vision, I wanted our children to be named Ae-Jeong, because you made me believe in love,  so for our girl to be named with the meaning of love and affection would be a dream.. I… I had it all planned I had our future all planned.”

“Donghae I did love you, you were mine. You”

“Stop…” I turn my back on her, I should really go, but I can’t help but say this one last thing.

“I was never yours, I am okay with that.. but you were mine, my everything and you still are” I carefully caress her cheek and I give her a last smile “That is why I won’t see you again”

I walk on and I quickly get into my car drive off and before I know I am home.. Just sitting there, not moving.. I am still not sure if this really happened. I am not sure if this is… Is this reality?

“Are you coming?” Siwon ticks on my window and I finally let go of the steering wheel that I have been clenching on to. I nod and get out of my car.

“Are you okay?” I nod and he continues to talk to the guys..

I will be okay..

 

 

Ari POV

 

I am not sure how long I have sitting here, looking at the door. How does it always seen to fall apart? I hear my phone going of and I quickly get it, cough once or twice to make sure I don’t sound like I just have had my heart broken.

“Hello?”

“Misses McClain we have your dress fitted, as soon as possible”

“Ooh” I don’t remember asking that and right now is the last thing I want to think about “You didn’t need to do that, but thank you”

“Your mother requested we did it fast, since your wedding is soon. You can pick it up today at 3 if you like”

“Ahh really?” I write down exactly what happened and tell her I will pick up the dress at three. I hang up and look at the note that I scribbled down, this might just be off help to convince my dad.

“Dad where are you?”

“I am in Tokyo dear”

“What, why?” My dad explains that he had to do some investigating or something of that sort, but it does have me worried, lately he has been ill. Getting more ill  by the day.  

“Dad, I have to tell you something about my dress” I tell him everything and surprisingly he asks me to send it to him. Like he believes me. “Dad one last thing, you should watch your health. Yesterday you looked so ill, I was just to mad to say it.”

“Don’t worry princess, I will be okay”

“Also I don’t want to speculate but don’t  you think that everything is just lining up so strange? Stella wants to come dress shopping, tells them to fit the dress pretty much immediately, you have been getting more ill. It just.. something isn’t right dad”

“Arian, don’t worry about it. Go to work, do your job. I am going to be okay and so will you” I try to object but he hangs up before I can. One thing is for sure something is going on, my dad hasn’t called me princess ever since mom died. Something is definitely going on.

 

I am still at work, late, but I needed to do something to keep my mind of things. I picked up my dress dropped it off home, but the only thing I can think about right now is Donghae… My dad… I throw my pen to the other side of the room, why seems my world to be collapsing, it is like there is a virus in my body and we can’t reject it. My phone goes and it is John calling, he sounds worried, really worried and tells me to come over to my dad house immediately.

“Dad! John!” I burst in and I see John walking up to me and directly guids me to my father

“Dad what is going on?” My dad has been ragging and he has put all of Stella’s belongings in a box. I try to calm my dad down, but he is so angered.

“She had it all planned”

“Who? What did she have planned?”

my dad tells me all of Stella’s plan, how she had stippled out everything to make sure that her son would inherited everything and I would be left with nothing. How she wanted to make my father sick..

“I am so sorry Ari.. I won’t let anything happen to you.” My dad kisses my hands and I still can’t believe what I am hearing

“What are you going to do dad?”

“I am divorcing her and going to trial.”

“do you think that is smart? Perhaps you should calm down first and think about it some a bit more”

“I should.. Ooh but Ari one thing I am sure of. Your engagement with Junmyeon, that is over.” I let his words sink in and he tells met to go home. I am suppose to tell him or does he already know? I look back one last time at my dad and he looks destroyed the woman he loved did this. I never liked Stella, but I also never wanted this for my dad.

 

I am walking back into my house and I see Junmyeon sitting on the couch, how should I tell him this? He looks at me and walks over and kisses me. I am stunned but I kiss him back. Our kiss heats up and when we break apart we are both breath less. We are both looking at each other and sit back down. Both realizing the same thing. There is no love or desire between us. Not anymore

“I think we can both agree that our relationship has been over for quite some time” He starts and I nod “We both tried but  I guess the flame just died down.”

I look at him and think back of the time I wanted to be close to him, when he closed me between him and the wall.. Those feelings are indeed gone. I look at my hand and take of my ring, I give him a sad smile and he take it with a sad look.

“We did try, didn’t we” he nods and I give him a hug “I love you..”

“I love you too Ari” We break apart, he takes his bag and heads towards the door “I will take my stu-“

“don’t worry about that now.. We will talk about it another day” We give each other one last smile and he heads out of the door. I hear the door close and then it truly hits me

I am alone.. All alone...