I don’t think all writers are sad, she said.

I think it’s the other way around – all sad people write.

- Lang Leav

16^th July 2015

Author’s Note

Hello fellow fans of Mnemophobia,

I’ve finally reached the end of this fiction and I just want to say a big thank you to all of you for reading it. This fiction wouldn’t be able to continue without the support of you guys so I just want to say a big thank you to each and every one of you out there.

Mnemophobia is my first angst fiction. It is something very different from what I had written or what I am writing now. However, I realize that I quite enjoy writing such genre. I will definitely love to write such story again. Please do note that some of the writings in here do not belong to me. I incorporated quotes, lyrics and writing from other writers. 

Oh and this fiction is definitely my first fic that is -free too!

I would like to ask a last favour from all of you. And that would be to leave your last comments for this fiction and also upvote if you had enjoyed this fiction. I will say goodbye for now and I will see you guys at Locker 303!

Enjoy the cast interview below! And, not forgetting the download link for Mnemophobia if you are interested in getting the PDF. (:

P.S: The interview of Jieun and Jiyong are done before their suicide. Questions posted after their suicide were not answered for the reality of this fiction.

With Love,

Z.S

*******

Jiyong

Why did you get involved with drugs again, knowing that Haewon wouldn't like it? There are other ways to earn money.

There are some days I thought I would die because I missed Haewon so much. It didn’t matter to me if that killed me. I just wanted the fastest way to earn money so I can look for her again.

Why do you love Haewon so much? What aspect of her is so outstanding that you can't move on from her? If you had met a girl who has similar characteristics to Haewon, would you give the girl a chance?

Haewon is the only who has understood even a whisper of me, and I will tell you that I am the only person who has understood even a whisper of her too. There isn’t a replacement for her anywhere.

What if Jieun chose Kai or Sehun?

I cannot imagine that. The thought of her loving someone else just makes me sick.

Would you rather know that Jieun is Haewon or not knowing the truth?

I would still choose to know the truth even if I get burned to see it.

Will you move on if Haewon doesn't regain her memories? How are you going to live?

I can’t. Haewon is still my person, even if I’m not hers. I probably would not be okay but not okay is how I’ve learned to live anyway.

If you could turn back the time, when is the moment that you really want to fix ? Is it before or after Haewon disappearance?

Definitely before. I will not let her out of the house at all.

What does Haewon mean to you? And what does Jieun mean to you? If Jieun accept you, what will you do?

Haewon is someone I fell in love with the first time I met her. Jieun is someone I long for through worlds, worlds and worlds. She accepts me or not, I will continue to love her to the point of ruin, until my lungs were filled with ash.

******

Kai

Who do you think deserves Jieun more?Sehun or Jiyong?

Jiyong. If they had a little more time or another chance, they could have worked out.

Do you love Jieun enough to let her go?

If letting go will make her happier, yes.

If you are in Jiyong’s shoes, what would you do if someone did it to you and your love of life?

I would probably kill myself.

For how long do you think that you can keep on with the lies if someone didn't told to the reporter ? Have you ever thought about her feelings?

For as long as I could. I.. did. I tell her I love her everyday and I tell her that I miss her when she is away from me. But I also want to tell her that I’m sorry but I just couldn’t..

Do you wish you would have just told Jieun the truth?

Yes. If I had known what I know now, I never would have wanted to lie to her in the first place.

What is the thing that you fear the most?

Waking up in the morning, remembering what you were trying to forget last night.

If Jieun decides to stay with Jiyong would you let her go? Or would you request SM to make another scandal to bury it?

I’ve never wanted SM to bury the my mistake in the first place but they gave me no choice. As for Jieun, I will let her return to Jiyong as long as she is happy with him.

What happened to Haewon’s phone?

I returned it to her when she came back to collect her things.

What was the first thought that came into your mind when you heard that Jieun committed suicide and Jiyong followed suit?

Please don’t ask.. because then I’m going to have to try to come up with an answer, which means I’m gonna have to think about it.. I don’t want to start crying, I might not be able to stop.

Are you going stay single your whole life?

Yes, I still love Jieun no matter where we both are.

Have you ever thought about Seulgi? I mean, she's your ex-lover and she still loves you.

Seulgi and I are meant to fall in love with each other but not meant to be together.

How did your family reacted to Jieun's suicidal?

My mother fainted when she heard about the news. My father felt that it would be better if my family start anew elsewhere. There is nothing left in Korea for them.

******

Sehun

Would you be happier if Jieun end up with Jiyong instead of Kai?

I.. don’t know.

Why did you do what you did? Why are you betraying and jeopardizing your whole group for that?

Because Jieun deserves to know the truth and Kai didn’t deserve the second chance for the same mistake. I guess I lose trust in my company and group members the day they started to keep things from Jieun for Kai’s sake. I don’t think I could trust anyone in the same way I did before. I find it harder to trust after Suho’s words because none of them are worthy of it anymore.

Do you have any regrets about leaking the scandal?

I don’t know. Jieun deserves to know the truth but she didn’t deserve to die.

Did you possibly think that Jieun/Haewon would coming running into your arms after this? Or are you just vengeful?

I.. was still waiting for her to call me when she knows what she wants.

What was the first thought that came into your mind when you heard that Jieun committed suicide and Jiyong followed suit?

The thing I want most doesn’t happen. And the thing I never expect to happen, does.

Are you going to stay single your whole life?

Probably.

******

Haewon

What is love really for you? Is it something you think you can just forget even if it's strong? Or is it something that can overcome lies?

What is love? Love is a feeling I have for Jiyong and he has for me. I would never forget the love Jiyong and I share and no, the worst thing about being lied to is knowing I wasn’t worth the truth.

If you had the choice to redo things,
would you have stay in the house and live happily with Jiyong or go through everything again?

I would definitely stay in the house with Jiyong. I wouldn’t do anything to leave Jiyong.

You used to hate Jiyong initially but how did your feelings towards him blossom into love?

I think it’s because I see him so often that a piece of him stays with me? So overtime I collect him and for better or for the worse, he changed me and I fell in love along the way.

******

Jieun

Which one will you choose? A happy life that Kai built on a lie or the heart breaking truth and make you lose your current love one?

I… don’t know.

What's the difference between the love that Kai and Jiyong provided?

I can’t tell how wonderful Jongin is.. I just don’t know how to put it into words. Jiyong.. I don’t know..

Jiyong is your first love and he suffered a lot because of you. Do you think that you could easily forget him just like that ?

I didn’t mean to forget about him.. I’m sorry.

Who do you think can make you happy?

Jongin.

What is your reason for loving Jongin more than Jiyoung? Because both of them are special for you.

I barely know Jiyong.. He is almost like a stranger, how could I fall in love a stranger?

If your memories returned, will you forgive Jongin?

I don’t know if could.. Jongin didn’t stab me in the back. He stabbed in the heart while staring into my eyes. It.. hurts even more.

Why none of your memories with Jiyong returned when you saw him? Are you curious about your past?

I don’t know why but the doctors did say I may not recover my memories in this life ever again. I am, I am so curious that there are still days I find it difficult to breathe.

*****

Suho

Do you just care about Kai and not Sehun? How can you ask Sehun to gave Jieun to Kai?

I care about the both of them but Kai needs Jieun more than Sehun. Kai cannot live without Jieun but Sehun can live without her. I.. just want to save my younger brother that I had lost 2 years ago. Am I too selfish?

******

Author

What is your inspiration to make this story has drama square love among Kai, Sehun and Jiyong?

The initial plan was to write a story about a girl who lost her memory falling in love with the person who caused the accident with the help of SM who buried the news. But then it just struck me someday to make it a ‘fight’ between the 2 largest talent group in Korea. YG was the only company who could go against SM in terms of burying the news. That was why no matter how Jiyong finds Haewon, he couldn’t.

What kind of memory lost does Haewon/Jieun have medically? Is it permanent with no chances of returning or temporary as things might trigger it? Or do the doctor just don't know?

I am not sure what is the medical term but I planned for it to be a memory loss that would not be able to recover.

Is Kai your ultimate bias followed by Luhan then Sehun? Cause Sehun never gets the girl!

Hahah, yes Kai is my ultimate bias! But Sehun is ranked next then Luhan. Sehun did get the girl in Stranger’s Love!

How are you able to put so much feeling in just a single chapter? I'm a big fan of your stories. They are just so full of wisdom and knowledge about society.

Thank you for being a big fan! I guess I keep my stories realistic so it’s more in sync with the society? I write my stories by incoporating quotes from Tumblr so they spice up my stories quite a bit.

How much do you know about the topic: love? Is the way you think about things portrayed in this story?

Truthfully, I don’t know much about the topic love. I’ve never experience one in life but I’ve heard plenty of stories from my friends so I have my own views about them. As much as I would like to believe there is someone like Jiyong, I personally feel that there wouldn’t be anyone who could love someone that much.

Did Jiyong do something that broke Haewon's heart and how did she get into the accident?

The only thing that Jiyong did that broke Haewon’s heart was probably taking drugs? But he recovered from that years ago. She got into the accident because she went out to buy dinner for Jiyong. You can read it from the front few chapters when Jiyong reminisce about the past.

Did the end of this fic make you cry as much as I did?

Surprisingly, I didn’t cry. I felt happy to write the ending. I felt like I’m putting everyone’s misery to an end in a way.

How did Kai’s family react to Jieun's suicide?

You can read it from Kai’s interview. He answered that question. (:

What were your feelings when you ended this story? Did you actually wanted it to end like that in the first place?

I felt happy that I ended this story. Hahaha. I didn’t feel sad like I did for the other fics. Initially I only planned for Jiyong to die after Jieun’s suicide. But my proofreader suggested to end the story with everyone going back to the original point. I think it was a really good idea so I add that in!

Did you plan the ending beforehand since the starting of Sehun & Jongin's scene kinda matches the ending as well?

Like I’ve said earlier, the ending wasn’t planned to be linked with the first two scenes. My proofreader suggested that ending on top of mine so I tried to link it back to the beginning. (: