Memory #005

Mnemophobia

Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.

 

14th February 2007

 

 

Haewon rolled around in her bed, she had finished her homework and there was nothing else she could do. She wanted to call her best friend, Minji, but she knew she wouldn’t pick up her phone for sure. Minji had bragged about her boyfriend booking a table at a high class restaurant before going for a walk around Han River for Valentines’ Day today. If she were her, she wouldn’t pick up her phone either. She would treasure every minute she had with Jiyong because they hadn’t seen each other for almost a week.

 

The last time she saw him was when they first confessed to each other and she lost her first kiss to him. The thought of his lips pressing against hers made her heart raced and she found herself smiling with a silly grin. Kicking her leg excitedly, she pressed her back on the bed with her fingers pressing on her lips shyly. She was glad that Jiyong went back to training the very next day and according to her brother, he was working harder than usual. Although she felt sad that she couldn’t spend her first Valentines’ Day with her first boyfriend, she didn’t blame him for it. Not at all.

 

“Haewon!”

 

“Haewon-ah!”

 

“Haewon!!”

 

“Aishhhh!” Haewon covered her ears with her pillow upon hearing her mother’s screams. Looking at the clock, she knew for sure that her mother must be missing out something for dinner and she had to go get it for her from the supermart.

 

“Cha Haewon!!!”

 

“Yahhh! Cha Haewon! Get your down here!”

 

“Coming!” Haewon screamed back unhappily. The last thing she wanted was to step out of this house, onto the streets that were filled with couples. Even though she said she could understand Jiyong not being able to accompany her, it didn’t mean that she was alright with going out.

 

“Omma.. Can I don’t go to the supermart?” The girl mumbled groggily as she made her way down the steps, not bothering to comb her unkempt hair or change out of her oversize shirt. “The mart has….”

 

“Has what?”

 

“Jiyong!!”

 

Standing at the end of the steps was the boy she had been thinking about for the past few days. His gummy smile gave her butterflies in her stomach as she ran down the steps and threw her arms around him.

 

“Hahaha.” Jiyong chuckled happily as he caught hold of his girlfriend who practically flew down the stairs. “The mart has Jiyong? I didn’t know that..”

 

“Oh my god…” The girl squealed as she hugged him tight, unable to believe that he was right before her.

 

“Yah. Look at how messy you are.” Mrs Cha shook her head at the 2 kids who were hugging each other without any space between their bodies. She knew about her daughter and Jiyong from her son, and he reassured her that this boy would definitely make Haewon happy. She trusts her son on that, for he had been very protective of Haewon since he was young. “Beware Jiyong doesn’t want you after seeing you like this.”

 

“Omma!!” Haewon pulled away from Jiyong and whined. How could her mother say such things in front of her boyfriend.

 

Tidying her hair gently with his hands, Jiyong promised her. “Don’t worry. I will want you no matter how messy you look okay?”

 

“Heard that Omma?” Haewon made a face at her mother before pulling Jiyong up the stairs, heading to her room. When they entered their room, the couple kept their hands interlaced even when Jiyong had Haewon faced him. Both of them beaming into each other’s eyes as Jiyong caressed the back of her hands with his thumb. He was sure that in this life, there’s no other hand that he would rather hold.

 

Wrapping her hands around his own waist, Jiyong pressed her body into his as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. He was not sure if she could tell that he hadn’t slept well since the last time they met because he had spent every night after his training thinking about her.

 

“Missed you. Missed you so much.”

 

“Me too.” Haewon admitted. The moment when Jiyong laced his fingers around hers, she couldn’t describe the feeling. It was kind of like the difference between putting her hand on her own and his hand on hers. When she touches her own hand, she doesn’t feel anything. Nothing happens, her hand is just there. But when his hand is there, she feels everything. Just like now, every move of his palm, every squeeze of his hand and every brush of his finger, she feels it right down to her toes and up to her neck. Everything in her body tingles, and it is the most wonderful thing ever. Every move he makes, it makes a huge difference.

 

“Why are you here? Don’t you have to train?”

 

Shaking his head, Jiyong caressed Haewon’s cheeks softly. Their faces were less than an inch apart and it made him want to just press his lips against hers. As he slowly closed the distance, Haewon closed her eyes, awaiting for the kiss that she had been thinking about. And when he did, the both of them couldn’t stop. It felt too magical and it felt too good.

 

“I won the evaluation and I get to have a request fulfilled so I chose to have a day off today.”

 

“Happy Valentine’s Day Wonnie.” Jiyong cupped her blushed cheeks and pecked her lips once again. “It’s our first Valentines’ day together. Are you happy?”

 

“I am. Very!” Haewon hugged him happily, she doesn’t have to spend her first Valentines’ day alone and her boyfriend won the evaluation.

 

“Then let’s go.”

 

“Go? Where are we going?”

 

“Our first date.”

 

-

 

Jiyong watched the girl before him chewed on her food happily. In the BBQ makchang restaurant, there weren’t much people. There were only a few working adults drinking soju, talking about stocks and how they were the only young couple in the eatery. He could understand why though, who would want to eat BBQ intestine on Valentines’ Day and get all smelly and oily? If he had a choice, he wouldn’t want to bring Haewon here on their first date too.

 

He wants to bring her to fine dining restaurant so she could dress up really nicely as they enjoy candle light dinner with one another but everywhere else was booked. There was no place for them to dine except the makchang alley in Hongdae.

 

“I’m done!” Haewon announced happily as she put down her chopsticks and received a tissue from Jiyong to wipe her lips.

 

“Why did you eat so little?” She noticed how he slowly sent his food to his mouth and most importantly, his lack of words. Her sixth sense told her something was wrong, and her intuition was always right when it comes to Jiyong.

 

“I’m just happy watching you eat.” He lied.

 

Not wanting to force an answer out of him, Haewon beamed back at him as she prepared to leave and Jiyong followed suit. After footing the bill, the couple walked hand in hand in the streets of Hongdae that was filled with couple celebrating Valentines’ Day together. The ambience made Haewon happy, she could now blend in with crowd and enjoy the day like any other girls. Most importantly, her boyfriend had won the evaluation and he could continue his dream of being a singer.

 

She couldn’t even remember what she told him, she just kept talking and listening to the sound of him listening to her. He would smile and nod at the things she said, occassionally brushing her hair away from her face. His eyes never left her throughout the whole bus ride home, and the way he looked at her was the way all girls want to be looked at. He didn’t even have to tell her how much he loves her, Haewon could feel it through his eyes.

 

“Why are you smiling?” Jiyong asked as they walked hand in hand from the bus stop to her house. He didn’t want their date to end yet but there wasn’t anywhere else they could go as they were all fully booked. He really hated himself for not planning ahead.

 

Turning to face him, Haewon threw her arms around his neck and pecked his lips. With their faces less than an inch away, she breathed out. “It’s just.. nobody ever looked at me the way you did.”

 

Just like her words, Jiyong continued to look at her with that soft gaze, breaking into a sad smile. “I’m sorry Won.”

 

“Sorry? For?” Haewon looked at him lovingly.

 

“I’m sorry that our first date and our first valentine day had to be spent at a Makchang restaurant.”

 

“I should have planned earlier. I didn’t even manage to buy you any flowers.”

 

“I didn’t even make you any gift! I’m such a bad boyfriend. Uurgh…”

 

“Yah..” Grabbing his head, Haewon forcefully made Jiyong look at her. “Don’t you ever say that again.”

 

“Say.. what?”

 

“Bad boyfriend.” Haewon said angrily.

 

“But I am. Really.” Jiyong sighed, “I’m sorry you have such a lousy boyfriend..”

 

“If.. you don’t want to go out with me anymore I can understand..”

 

“Kwon Jiyong. You’re really an idiot.” Pouting her lips, Haewon glared at him crossly. Compared to those high class restaurants where she had to wear dresses and heels, she would rather go to a makchang restaurant in jeans and tee. It didn’t mattter to her where she spends her the day at, as long as she gets to see him and be with him, it’s sufficient.

 

“After not seeing you for a week, you wanna break up with me?”

 

“No no! I didn’t say that!” Jiyong panicked and grabbed her hands, “I don’t want to break up with you!”

 

“Then? What did you say all those things just now?”

 

Letting out a long sigh, he slumped his shoulders. “I just feel sorry.”

 

“Ji… look at me.” Jiyong lifted his head to be met with her beautiful hazelnut eyes. “It doesn’t matter where we go as long as I get to see you.”

 

“It can be the park, or it can even be just outside my house. We can be sitting outside my doorstep for all I care.”

 

“I will be happy as long as I’m with you.”

 

Jiyong slowly digested her words and nodded his head. He pulled her into his embrace and locked his arms around her body. With her arms around his waist, he snuggled into her neck. His girlfriend was indeed beautiful, for the way she thinks. She was definitely beautiful, for that sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was absolutely beautiful, for her ability to make him smile. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks.

 

She was beautiful deep down in her soul.

 

“I love you Won.”

 

“Me too.”

 

They were sure they will love each other everyday they have together and every night they spend apart because they were still young and they still have plenty of time together.

 

Because Jiyong was 19 and Haewon was only 15.


Can't wait for Christmas break so I can get back on full scale writing. Worked the entire week alongside with school and I feel like I'm dying. Thank god its my off day tmr. Shall sleep in before waking up to see what you guys think about this chapter. If I have time tomorrow I will update MDIAS as well. Keep a lookout!

Enjoy!

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prod_GLEE
#1
Chapter 1: ahh idol life fic! i wonder if jiyong doesn't appear much how about the girl he's been looking for hmmm
Sheng0522 #2
Upon reading the comments,I guess will need a lot of courage to read this one..I am a VIP and GD is my bias..I like Sehun too since we have the same surname..I'm an angst reader as well..Those are the reasons that brought me here..Oh,b4 I forgot,I like how authornim write her stories..I will definitely read this but I guess I'll be needing some time..I will get back here,but for now I guess I'll read stranger's love first..
ettoiscy
#3
Chapter 47: OMG Im crying so hard reading this story. What a wonderful story with mix emotion in here. Angst to be more precise. I really love this. So sad. Im really so sad right now.
What a wonderful writings you have here. Thankyou for creating this fic. Good job authornim.
StoriesWriter
#4
Chapter 47: I wished you had put tragedy tag cause I'm bawling my eyes out. I'm just not one to read sad ending so I usually avoid stories with sad ending. But I do understand the reason why you don't put the tag, cause it would have spoiled the jittery while reading. Honestly, I feel so shocked to find out that Jieun and GD suicide, and that Kai is alive and well. I mean... I understand that he's human like us and he repented but just... I feel so sad and like I don't know... T.T
mybaeiskai88 #5
Chapter 48: Hi,i just finished this story,its beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.I must admit that jongin is my bias and in a selfish way,i still hope that jieun and jongin be together..?..but at the same time,i felt sad for GD because the fate is really cruel to him. The saddest part is when the same scene happen just like 5 years ago when jongin met seulgi,but this time is not about Seulgi anymore,its about HER (jieun)..So sad just to know how break down jongjn without jieun. And is hard to believe that their relationship among members just ended like that. I dont know if i should blame sehun for revealed everything,i just cant! At the 1st place we know that jongin is selfish,but his life never be okay since the accident,how the guilt eat him alive..i know its stupid,but i ship jongin and jieun ❤..
Lastly,i like your writing,its beautiful,,it can touch my heart,,i've started with flawless imperfection,stranger's love..in SL i ship her with sehun ?..keep a good work
MZ0077 #6
I really want to read this story..
I've been checking it for the past two years coz i love your writing
But, there is GD.. and angst too (i dont read their fluff story either). I just want to see them as they are.. not the sugarcoated or the bad boy.. but just them as the artist.. thats it..
The last time i read GD angst fic i cry my eyes out
It affect me so much, i cant look at him without feeling sad for him, i feel sad hearing their song.. and their lyrics didnt help me either.. it just so saad.. i feel sad hearing their sad sobg before but it even become more sad after i read the story
So, i dont think i cant read this story rn or anytime soon
I know its weird but i tend do that when i read stories thats why i dont read any bigbang fic anymore coz it change my pov of them that i have to watch all their show to remind what kind of people they are in eyes before..
Hope you write another free exo fic soon ( i feel easier imagine exo as the character more than other idol)
I am sorry for the long and irrelevant comment..
callmesabby
#7
Chapter 48: This story is too angsty when Jiyong & Ji Eun died. (π.π) why..why ... Why did you guys have to commit suicide?!
And yeah, the 1st fic of yours that is -free! Haha~

I never expected that anyone would die in the end but when I tried to think any possible ending for this story, nothing comes up better than this. Because if Ji Eun ended up with Jong In, Ji Young would hurt. If Jieun returned as Haewon, then Jong In would be in a deep pain (and I won't let that ever happen to my Jong In >.> )..so I think this ending is the best! Good job, RedLollita!

Thinking about Jiyong POV, I agreed with neetabie that he got the most pain among all of them. He did nothing wrong but he has to endure the pain of losing his love twice. Also Jong In, all he did is knocking Haewon but then his life changed all over. Also did Sehun. But I'm happy he has an open ending. Haha~ glad that he still loves Jieun. Idk, but I'm rooting Sehun this time. You're so mean, RodLollita~ why everytime I read any SeKai as the main acts in your fics, you made me root for Sehun instead of our bias Kai? Especially Stranger's Love & The Lip Biter. I hate u~ (just kidding ok? Luv u so much despite not knowing each other, authornim. Haha~)

Oh yeah, please update L303 quickly!!!! I like the story although only few chapters are out. (ㅡㅅㅡ) Fighting! Fighting!
neetabie #8
i never comment on any story but im doing it now..i love kai so much at first he doesnt deserve jieun for me cause he lied so much to her..lol i started shipping her with sehun but it turned out he reported jongin then i was disappointed i understand he was hurting and suho shoudnt have said that to him..he should have tell jieun first..sigh i dont know but serious i shipped her with GD and sehun morethan kai they just did not matched him and her..hmm i love it though keep the good work
Elizabethguppy #9
Chapter 48: Wow i cried so much now i'm crying river its tragic to know that they can end up together i ship jongin and haewon great job authornim..
vivigoku
#10
Chapter 48: This is one of the best story I've ever read.
your stories are always my favorite
your stories always make my heart feel different kind of emotions..this story is sooo... I don't know what to say . I JUST LOVE U AND UR STORIES author nim <3