I don’t know if love’s a feeling. Sometimes I think it’s a matter of seeing.

 

Seeing you.

8^th December 2014

“Aunt Kim, have you eaten?”

“Yupp I had. Jongin ate a lot today don’t worry.”

“He is not practicing, he is resting.”

“Yeah, I will keep on eye on him. You rest early.”

Just like what Saein had told him, when he changes the way he looks at things, the things he looks at also changes. Because right now, he could see Jieun from where he was hiding and eave-dropping her calling his mother like what she do every other day. And miraculously, he doesn’t feel as suffocated anymore.

“Put on a jacket before you sleep Aunt Kim, it’s cold today.”

“Jieun!”

The sudden voice made the girl jump and Kai pressed his back against the wall, making sure he wouldn’t be seen.

“I got to go Aunt Kim, sleep early and goodnight.” Jieun hurriedly hung up the phone and bowed at the lady in front of her, “Sunye Unnie.”

“Kim Jieun, you are very daring aren’t you?”

“I.. I don’t know what you are talking about Unnie.” Jieun lowered her eyes and bit her lips.

“You don’t know? You don’t know that Kai is not allowed to have any rest days other than those company scheduled for him for? Just because you are his cousin doesn’t give you any right to clear his schedule!” Sunye screamed angrily, if it weren’t the producers who called her directly, she wouldn’t know that Kai’s personal assistant had been pushing away his schedules on his behalf.

“But.. but Jongin needs to rest. His back…”

“I don’t care!!” Sunye shouted and Kai saw how Jieun jumped again. She didn’t even dare to lift her head up to look at the lady. He wanted to step out to help her, he had even thought of an excuse already but his feet just wouldn’t step out so he could only watch Sunye scream at Jieun. “You should know the rules that you have no right to do that. You are his personal assistant but both of you belongs to SM!”

“Unless SM gives you guys permission then you all are allowed to rest.”

“Know your place Kim Jieun.”

“Un..unnie.. But Jongin…” Jieun braved herself as she tried to fight for more off days for her cousin before he prepare for his solo comeback.

“You like to argue a lot don’t you?” Sunye hissed dangerously as she raised her hand. “I feel like slapping that mouth of yours right now.”

Kai’s right foot instinctively stepped out. However, before he could place another foot forward he contracted the extended leg in.

“Noona!”

 “Sunye Noona!” Sehun ran down the corridor and stood in front of the lady, hiding Jieun behind him.

“Oh Sehun-ah.” She glared at Jieun, warning her to keep quiet before turning to Sehun. But, little did she know that Sehun overheard everything, right from the start.

He wanted to scare Jieun when she ends her phonecall but little did he expect this situation to unfold this way before his eyes. He knew he had no rights to interfere when the older staff scolds the younger but he couldn’t stay still when he heard her wanting to hurt her physically.

With his charming eye-smile, he beamed at the older lady. “Sunye noona, Luhan hyung is looking for you. He said the new coordi messed up his outfits for his performance tomorrow.”

“Aish, that useless girl.”

“Yeah. Luhan hyung is very worried and he is panicking. Go help him Noona.” Sehun whined before pressing his lips into a thin line, “I’ve never seen him so mad.”

“Okay okay I’m going.” The lady ran towards the lift and Sehun make sure she left before grabbing Jieun’s hands and started running towards the emergency exit.

“Where.. where are we going Sehun?” Jieun asked as she let the man dragged her.

“Away!”

“Why?”

“Because Luhan hyung is not even in the office!”

-

Sehun watched Jieun send spoonsful of rice, one after another into . The girl before him was never picky with her food. Wherever he brought her, she always manages to finish all of her food. The way she concentrates when she eats never fails to make him look forward to their next meal together. Watching her eat has become one of his favourite hobby.

However, earlier scene preoccupied his mind, making him unable to appreciate her beauty today; the way she didn’t flinch when the older lady raised her hand. Why didn’t she dodge away? Why does she want to take that slap?  

“Why did you do that?” Sehun asked lightly as he stirred his ice in his soda.

“Do what?” Jieun looked away from her food at him with her confused eyes, unsure what he was talking about.

“Why do you clear Kai’s schedule when you know that you are not allowed to?”

“Because he needs to rest.” She replied plainly. Her answer was instinctive and it made Sehun press his lips into a thin line.

“Even if you get slapped by Sunye noona?”

“It’s just a slap.. It’s nothing.. ”

“It’s a slap?! It’s not just a slap Jieun!” He raised his voice in anger. He was mad at her because he loves her, he couldn’t even bear to touch her let alone someone to hit her like that. “Do you know you can go deaf if she hits you too hard?!”

“I owed my life to them Sehun.”

“So what?”

“He doesn’t deserve…” He swallowed his words right after the first few slipped off his tongue in a heated moment. Sighing heavily, he put his chopsticks down onto the table, losing his appetite completely. Why the girl before him just doesn’t understand that Kai doesn’t deserve her gratitude? Even with how he treats her now? Like how he would rather hide behind the wall than to save her from getting slapped. He wouldn’t dare to imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t interrupted in time.

Looking at him cluelessly, Jieun sent another spoon of rice into as she chewed and ask. She didn’t know why was Sehun getting so worked up and she was getting afraid. “Doesn’t… deserve what?”

Shaking his head, Sehun let out a frustrated sigh.  

“Why the sigh.” The girl stopped eating and asked him. His moodswings were worrying her.

Looking into her eyes that were filled with concern, Sehun could feel his anger subsiding a little. Forcing a smile, he shook his head once again as he resumed eating. He didn’t want her to be scared of him. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t meant to raise my voice at you just now.”

“Just suddenly thought of this friend that I used to know.” He lied. “I treated him like my own brother but he doesn’t appreciate my kindness.”

“And as we grow older, I find myself not knowing who he is anymore. He is almost like a stranger to me now.”

Jieun nodded as she digested his words slowly. Does her cousin considered as her friend? The friend she wouldn’t get to know no matter how hard she tried? With a sad smile she muttered, “Yeah, I agree. I get that sometime too.”

“Who is that person?” Sehuun asked curiously but it took him to less than a minute to answer his own question. “Jongin?”

“How.. How’d you know?”

“Hahahaha.” Sehun chuckled at her shocked face and his hand reached out to close her dropped jaw. “I have superpowers remember?”

“You can’t lie to me Jieun.”

Her face is an open book, she writes her thoughts and feelings all on her face. It wasn’t hard for Sehun to read them. Though he wished he couldn’t read it, he didn’t like to see her feeling upset over her Kai.

“I.. just feel like I don’t know Jongin when he is my cousin..” Jieun continued muttering softly with a crestfallen expression. “Cousins are supposed to be closed.”

“You don’t have to know him or be closed to him.” Sehun blurted.

“Huh…why?”

“Because…” Closing his mouth, he swallowed his words once again. Because you guys are not cousins. He finished his unfinished words mentally. This was the truth that he had always thought Jieun deserved to know but he knew he was in no position to say. “You can get to know more about me and be closer to me instead.”

Sehun watched the girl blinked at him with her round black eyes before furrowing her brows. She was so deep in thought that the bridge of her nose was scrunched up as well. Little did he know, his own eyebrows were deeply knitted too. Was his sentence too direct? He didn’t mean it this way, he just wanted to hint her. Just as he was about to open his mouth to clear things up, Jieun broke the silence.

“I.. don’t know how.” Jieun answered. For the past 2 years, she hadn’t gotten the chance to know more about someone before and she didn’t know how. No matter how hard she think, she couldn’t come up with a method to be closer with Sehun.

“Hahahaha. So this was what you had been thinking for the past minute?”

Jieun nodded innocently.

“Hahahaha.” Sehun laughed heartily, totally forgetting the unhappiness he built up against Kai temporary. It was as though when he is with her, he gets to escape from reality for a short while and he decided that he didn’t care if his signs were too obvious. He wants her to know, he wants everyone to know that he is after her so no one would bully her ever again. Not even Jongin.

 Raising his hand, he ruffled her hair gently before looking into her eyes sincerely. “You wanna know how?”

Jieun nodded eagerly this time, glad that she could learn something new. She wanted to be closer to Sehun too.

“By going out with me.”

Sorry for the long hiatus. Was rushing an essay for the past few weeks and I'm going to start on another essay of mine so do pardon me if updates get a little slower than usual.

This chapter was not supposed to be for Sehun but I got too carried away that I can't link to whatever I had planned to write so I will make do with this.

I quite like it anyway. Do you?

Enjoy!