When you keep hurting someone, you do one of these three things.

Either you fill them up with hate, and they destroy everything around them.

Or you fill them up with sadness, and they destroy themselves.

Or you fill them up justice, and they destroy everything that’s bad and cruel in this world.

15^thJanuary 2015

Silence was defeaning for the 11 boys in the second level dance studio.

The usual cursing, teasing and boisterous laughters were replaced by the members constantly looking around and being wary of one another as they waited for their dance practice to begin.

Baekhyun stole a look at Suho who was glancing at Sehun’s direction, and the boy he was looking at lifted his eyes to look at him before looking away. None of them spoke a word and the atmosphere was terrible. Baekhyun turned to look at Chanyeol for help but the latter could only shrug his shoulders.

After forcefully dragging Sehun out of Kai’s house last night, all the members became dumb overnight. None of them spoke a word to one another, not even this morning. All of them had no idea what happened to Kai and Jieun afterwards but none of them couldn stop thinking how much Sehun liked Jieun.

When Luhan and Suho locked eyes with one another, Suho signalled Luhan to talk to Sehun. The last thing he wanted was their brotherly relationship to end because of Jieun.

“Sehun-ah, shall we go for bubble tea?” Luhan broke the silence and everyone lifted their head to look at him gratefully. “Hyung will treat you!”

“No thanks.” He muttered coldly with his gaze fixed on his phone.

“What about going to play darts after this? It had been a long time since we went to play darts!” Tao was the next person who received Suho’s instructions. They were his closest brothers in Exo. However, the boy closed his eyes and breathed out heavily before taking out his earphones and pluck it in his ears, causing the dance studio to fall into complete silence once again. It was clear that he didn’t want to hear anything from them anymore.

Just then, the doors were pulled open. Kai and Jieun walked in one after another and they sensed the weird atmosphere right away, making the girl feel even more uncomfortable. As they walked into the dance studio, Jieun hid behind Kai, keeping her gaze on the floor as she followed behind him closely; like a child who had done something wrong.

As they put their belongings down on the couch, Kai caught her flustering and he held her hand firmly. “Jieun, look at me.”

Instinctively, Jieun tried to pull out her hand from his but was being held down firmly.

“Jieun, look at me.” Kai lifted her chin so her eyes would meet his. “Trust me. Everything will be okay.”

For Jieun, she wasn’t used to being loved by someone like that, she wouldn’t know what to do so she could only trust Kai. Through his eyes, she felt herself getting herself together and she freed her own hand. From her pockets, she pulled out his pain kllers and gave it to him, she watched him eat and joined the boys.

Sitting at the furthest corner of the room, Sehun watched their interaction from the moment they set foot into this room. Despite his earphones in his ears, he could stilll hear their conversation loud and clear. And when his eyes finally met with Jieun, the girl looked away quickly and his heart sank.

“Since Kai is here, shall.. we warm up first?” Lay suggested and took the lead to play some music on the stereo in hope that it would make the atmosphere less awkward. However, Kai stopped him in his tracks.

“Hold on hyung, I have something to announce.”

Kai looked at everyone in the room and saw how they were staring back at him, including Sehun. His gaze was cold and piercing. Taking a deep breath, he announced. “Jieun and I are officially together.”

Everyone in the room gulped hard as the atmosphere plunged downhill once again. Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchanged known glances, so did Luhan and Xiumin. However, none of them dared to look at Sehun.

“I’m sorry that my family bluffed you guys about Jieun’s background.” Kai turned and gave Jieun an assuring smile before continuing. “My family didn’t expect things to turn out like this.”

“Initially they wanted to adopt Jieun but was afraid that she wouldn’t accept help since we are not related. So we lied about her being my cousin but in fact, she’s not.”

“We cleared up the misunderstanding last night. I’m sorry for making you all worried.”

The members digested the words Kai said and their telepathy with one another told them that it was another lie that they had to keep up. Being the in-charge of reaction, Chanyeol was about to attempt to make the atmosphere better when Sehun beat him to it with a snort.

And everyone fell silent once again.

“No wonder Jieun and Kai don’t look alike! Hahah.” Chen laughed out loud and he eyed around for backup.

Getting his hint, Chanyeol laughed alongside with him and added. “Cousins or not it’s okay! As long as Jieun is still with us.”

“Right guys?”

The group of boys then snapped out of their daze and they gave their agreement. Jieun heaved a sigh of relief, glad that the boys didn’t give Jongin a hard time and accepted her easily. She was fine with anything as long as everything returned back to normal but little did she know, it was impossible.

Sehun on the other hand just stared at the group of clowns who were still continuing the show and he felt sick to his stomach. What bull was this. A self created lie laying behind a much bigger lie. He didn’t understood how a person can tell so many lies and never feel bad about it. And how the lie wasn’t even properly concealed within itself. The Kim family and Exo were clearly taking advantage Jieun’s innocence and he was really sick of them lying.

“ing idiots.” His voice was loud and clear as he scanned at everyone who was staring back at him, including Jieun. This time he was the first person that looked away first, pulling open the door and walked out of the stuffy room.

“I… will accompany him to the toilet..” Everyone in the room sensed that something was very wrong but Luhan didn’t want to put the innocent Jieun in the difficult spot so he chased after him. However, before he could go, Suho pulled him back.

“I will go.”

“I will go too.” Jieun might be innocent but that didn’t mean that she was stupid. She knew that she had hurt Sehun or he wouldn’t behave this way. Not only did she wanted to clear the misunderstanding between them, she wanted to apologize for leading him unintentionally too. Most importantly, she didn’t want to lose her only friend.

Grabbing her hand, Kai shook his head at her. He knew Jieun wanted to explain herself but now wasn’t the time. The two of them were probably the last people Sehun wanted to see now. “Suho is there.”

“He will bring Sehun back. Don’t worry.”

When Suho pulled open the door, he didn’t chase after Sehun. He quietly followed after him till they reached the rooftop. The moment he pushed open the door, Sehun was leaning his head on the railing and Suho sighed.

“Sehun-ah..” Suho patted his back, wondering how he should begin and he decided that going straight to the point would hurt lesser. “I know you like Jieun.. but you do know that Kai needs her too right?”

His sentence earned the boy’s attention, he turned his head and slowly looked at his leader.

“I think.. everyone cracks, but some people break. Like Kai.”

“He had been broken for so long and Jieun had managed to fix him, returning us the lively and happy Jongin that we lost.”

“I know you like Jieun but Jongin is different. He needs Jieun to live. Without her, he will die…”

“There are other fishes for you in the sea Sehun-ah.. you can always…”

“Stop.” With his tightly clenched fist, Sehun said in between his gritted teeth. He loves her too, he thought but didn’t say it because he couldn’t believe his ears. Suho chased him all the way here to ask him to give Jieun up to Kai because he would die without her. He didn’t care about how he would feel to let go of someone he really likes for a long time. Not even a tiny bit. He didn’t even bother asking how he felt when he saw the girl he likes kissing his best friend.

“Jieun is my sea.”

“And you know what hyung? I am ing tired of Kim Jongin being sad. Don’t you all get tired of him being sad all the time?!”

“He lied about all these when he could have own up. If he had the guts to tell the truth right from the start, he wouldn’t be in this state. He is the one who brought all these upon himself!”

“Do not mock a pain that you haven’t endured Sehun!” Suho raised his voice, unhappy that Sehun was mentioning about the accident again. “You don’t know what he had been through!!”

“I don’t know?” Standing there with tears in his eyes and shaking hands, Sehun breathed hard, unsure of how to reply Suho. How could he not know how much Kai went through? He was the first few that reach out for him before he sealed his heart but he pushed and hurt everyone that rendered help, including him. And there comes a point, when it was not that he didn’t care anymore but he just couldn’t. There was a limit to how much they can tolerate so they decided to let him be, hoping that he would recover but he never did.

What he didn’t understood was why did everyone sided him so much when he was the one in the wrong. The company, Exo and even his family cared about him so much that everyone else in his life had to make way for his happiness. It was unfair. Bloody unfair.

Just little did he expect that part of his recovery requires him to give up Jieun.

“Sehun.. I know you have tried so hard to make things work between Jieun and you, and it didn’t.”

“But trust me, things happen for a reason and there’s a meaning behind everything.”

“Whether it’s the right time with the wrong person, or like now the wrong time with the right one, eventually things will fall into place in the future with the right person at the right time.”

“And you’ll be happy why it never worked out with the wrong ones. You are still young and you can still find someone who truly loves you back. Trust hyung on this uh?” Suho comforted him, squeezing his shoulders before leaving the rooftop. He knew Sehun could not snap his fingers and recover instantly but the maknae will understand where he was coming from. His request might be selfish but as an Exo’s leader, he had no choice; he was carrying 12 people’s dreams on his shoulders.

Closing his eyes painfully, Sehun punched the wall nearest to him continuously, not caring how his knuckles were bleeding. Till he felt tired then he stopped, holding onto the wall and panted hard. He was heartbroken to find out the girl he likes didn’t like him, disappointed that his elder brother didn’t care about his feelings and angry that he thought so little about his love for Jieun to ask him to give up just like that.

With a last punch, Sehun let out a loud bawl.

It wasn’t fair that he had to give Jieun up in order for Kim Jongin to be happy.

It wasn’t fair that everyone was only concern about Kim Jongin, constantly lying for him.

It wasn’t fair that Jieun could come into his life and leave as a stranger.

And it definitely wasn’t fair that he could never feel right again.

Having a migraine . I can't write anything today and I can't watch my show in peace. Uurgh.

Btw, I had been dropping hints since last chapter. Lots of them. So anyone spotted anything?

Enjoy!