Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.

12^th August 2014

Laughters could be heard before Hyein and Jieun stepped into the house, and they knew instantly, he’s back.

“Is Jongin back?” Hyein pushed opened the door and asked excitedly, her brown eyes searching for the familiar figure. “Kim Jongin!”

“Hey noona,” The man with the same pair of brown eyes beamed back at her, as usual, the smile didn’t quite reached his eyes.

“Kkamjong!” The young lady ran over and threw her arms around him, “Your dog’s vet fees are 200 bucks. Pay me now.”

“Yah Hyein! Your brother just came home and you are asking him for money. What kind of sister are you?” The oldest among all the 3, Saein, scolded.

“A marvelous one. One that brings cleans his dogs’ , brings his dogs for a walk and bring them to the vet!”

“Alright alright. I will pay you.” Kai pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and passed his sister the money, his eyes then trailed to the figure who had been standing at a corner for quite some time. It had been quite some time since he last saw her. Instantly, his eyes darkened as the suffocated feeling rose up his chest again. However, he managed to gather up his voice and choke out. “Hello.”

“Hello.” Jieun nodded at him politely and the living room fell silent. She shuffled her feet nervously, unsure of what to do, she knew he didn’t like her presence there. His face tells it all. From Jongin’s eyes, she knows that he doesn’t like her so she doesn’t want to talk to him unless he approached her first.  “I will go up and wash up.”

Escaping from the living room, Jieun closed her room door behind her and she let out the breadth she had unknowingly been holding. The best thing about her bedroom is her bed. She likes to stay in bed for hours, even during the day, with covers pulled up to her chin. It’s good to be in there, nothing ever occurred in there, no people, nothing.

She craves space. It charges her batteries and helps her breathe. Being around people is exhausting especially for people like her who don’t have any friends and a social life. She’s left looking at things, not doing things. There’s a weird freedom in not having people treat her like she’s part of society or where she has to fulfill social relationships.

In her life, the only thing she had that could allow her to pour her unhappiness and worries without feeling like a burden is her diary. She writes in her diary everyday ever since she stepped into the Kim household. It had become her daily habit and escape. So much had happened in her life, and to Jieun, it’s good to live it again and get some distance from it. She doesn’t want her life to be in a muddle or like on a merry-go-round again.

Just as she picked up her pen, ready to write her first entry of the day, a soft knock on her door interrupted her.

“It’s time for dinner Eun.” A middle aged lady told her kindly.

“Alright Aunt Kim, coming right down.” She gave her a small smile and closed her diary, taking her aunt’s arms she went down to the dining table, taking the furthest end; away from him. She slowly tucked into dinner, as she listened to the family exchanged updates about their lives. The usual quiet dinner was filled with the elders’ laughters and it was clearly because of his return back home that made them this happy.

Jieun listened to the Kim family update each other about their lives, with mostly Hyein talking about her newly enrolled university’s orientation. She remained silent and kept her eyes on the dishes in front of her, afraid to look up. She was afraid that her eyes would betray her feelings, telling everyone that she is envious of her cousin’s attending school, having friends and definitely a proper social life. That can’t happen, she owed the Kim family too much and this was definitely not something she should ask for. She should be happy that she got to live again.

“Jieun, is everything okay?” Aunt Kim asked her worriedly. “You didn’t talk at all.”

Nodding her head, Jieun swallowed her food and smiled, lowering her head almost right after. She knows she can never become a part of the Kim family but she also can’t get past that feeling that she doesn’t belong. It’s a weird combination of feelings that’s happening at the same time.

“I’m done. I will go up first.” Giving a bow, Jieun excused and locked herself in her room. She could hear Hyein’s joyous laughter and it made her smile. She loves her cousins and she really hoped that her uncle and aunt could enjoy her childrens’ company since Jongin is finally back home. She didn’t want to disturb and impose on them.

“Hello, I’m back.” The 22 year-old girl ran her fingers over the cover of her diary and whispered to her one and only friend. Picking up her pen, she started writing down the things she did for the day and how her day went.  Not forgetting to also write down the things she can’t say. Halfway through, her eyes landed on a box of muscle relaxant cream that she bought a few days ago. Standing up, she took it along with her till she reached his door and she placed it outside before returning back to her room.

Unlike him, Jieun couldn’t do it. She couldn’t walk away when she knows that he is suffering in pain. Because when she loves someone, she get involves. She get so involve in their pain that it becomes her pain. She gets so involved to the point where there’s no getting uninvolved because that’s what love is, and that’s what family is.

And Jongin is part of the family she is left with.

All the characters are out. Let's get the story going!

I know that it is very confusing, be patient and the truth will be revealed.

Enjoy~