Entry #025
Mnemophobia
After I fell in love with you, I fell in love with my life.
2nd January 2015
Sehun peeked up from his bowl of noodles at the girl opposite him, the corner of his lips naturally tuned upwards. He didn’t understand how could Jieun look so perfect even when she was just eating her favourite noodles. The way she held her chopsticks, the way she looked at her noodles in her spoon before sending it into , she is so perfect in every way.
Maybe she isn’t perfect to everybody, but to Sehun, she is absolutely amazing. Even the way she laughs, smiles, talks, thinks, looks and everything she does simply amazes Sehun.
“Your noodles are turning cold maknae.” Baekhyun teased from the table beside them.
“You eat with your mouth not your eyes.” Chanyeol added as they bit their lower lips to stop themselves from laughing. The way their maknae stares at the girl with his noodle hanging in midair was hilarious.
“Aish.” Sehun rolled his eyes in annoyance. If it wasn’t to prevent Jieun from getting scolded by Sunye, he wouldn’t have brought the lightbulbs along.
“Stop it guys. Eat your noodles.” Suho scolded the boys that were with him, signalling Sehun to continue his date. He knew how badly the youngest wanted to bring Jieun to this famous Jjampong shop. He had been harping about it ever since the venue of their concert was set and as an elder brother, all he could do was to sit at a separate table while the couple sat at a 2 seater seat.
“Jieun-ah…” Sehun called her lightly, “is the Jjampong nice?”
The girl continued to send spoon after spoon of noodles into without realizing that Sehun was calling her. Her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of how Jongin and her woke up the other day in the villa with their body entangled around one another. She didn’t know why she couldn’t stop thinking about it, and she also didn’t know why her heart would always beat so fast whenever the thought came into her head.
Covering her cheeks with hands, she hoped that no one would realize her sudden flush as she tried to clear her head by convincing herself that they were cousins and it was alright for them to sleep together.
“Are you alright Jieun?” Sehun asked her worriedly upon seeing her weird actions.
“Uh?” Jieun looked up and realize that Sehun was looking at her, she nodded her head half-heartedly, avoiding his intense gaze. “Yea..Yeah.”
“It’s.. the Jjampong. It’s.. too.. spicy.”
“Oh?” Upon hearing that Sehun poured her a cup of water which Jieun gulped down in one shot. “Better?”
“Yeah..” Jieun nodded her head meekly but she could still feel the heat that was crawling on her face. Then, she suddenly straightened up when something came into her head.
“Sehun, can I take away a packet of Jjampong?”
“Hahahah, of course you can silly girl!” Sehun laughed heartily, happy that she liked the Jjampong he chose specially for her so much so that she wanted to take away another bowl.
“Okay. Then let’s leave before the takeaway gets cold, shall we?”
“Sure.” Sehun nodded his head before heading over to the counter to bill in excitement, failing to hear what Jieun say next.
“Jongin must be hungry.”
-
“Kai-ah! Jieun’s back!”
“Please get her to do your makeup! Concert is starting in half!”
Upon hearing that, Kai jogged out of the rest area towards the entrance of the backstage just in time to see Jieun walking in and he smiled the moment she looked at his direction.
Kai didn’t know why, during that 1hour that she left for lunch with Sehun, even it was just a little while, he misses her presence. When Jieun asked for his permission to go for lunch with Sehun, he didn’t know how to refuse her request even though he didn’t want her to go. He knew better that it would be a date but when he heard that Suho, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were going as well, he felt a little better.
“Jongin.” Jieun walked up to him and called him gently. “Have you eaten? I bought Jjampong for you.”
Shaking his head, Jongin peered into the plastic bag that contained the food she bought for him. A boyish grin spread across his face right away. He could never understood how Jieun touched him without using her hands and it never fails to make him feel so fuzzy.
And happy.
“You eat. I will do your hair for you.”
As Jieun styled Jongin’s hair, she looked into the mirror and saw how he slurp his noodles. She couldn’t help but to smile at the way he was gobbling down his food. He must be really hungry and she was glad that he was eating well before the concert. When he was done with his food, she immediately put down the hairdryer and went over to the next table to grab a bottle of water.
“Eat this too.” Jieun took out his painkillers from her pocket and put it in Jongin’s palm. She watched him swallow the pills and empty the bottle of water before taking it from him again.
She was about to throw away the bottle when she felt someone held her hand.
“I will do it.” Kai knows that he should let go, but he can’t. The 1hour without her, he felt so uneasy and lost. And amazingly, he feels so much better now that she is around. Especially when he has her hand in his.
“You take a rest. You had been running run the whole day.”
Upon finishing his sentence, even Kai himself was shocked at what he had just said. It was so unlikely of him to say such a thing and he was quite sure he was not the same person he was a year ago. Experience never stops and that’s life. He definitely changed because of the experience he had with Jieun which he was glad that he did.
The pages of his life used to be black and white before he got to know Jieun. And now, he felt like he had been hurt enough. He was tired of being sad and because of Jieun he finally got to feel something else.
Kai couldn’t say exactly when he fell for Jieun or why everything changed all of the sudden. All he knows is that one day, he woke up and felt every cell within his body needing her.
She put him back together so well that it made him forget that he was broken. He wasn’t sure when did he only start looking at her only but ever since he knew her, he wanted more minutes in a day. She had become his happiness.
And he was addicted.
There could be a million people around them just like now. The fans cheering, the members surrounding him and the staffs watching as he stood on the stage. But he still only have eyes for her and that scares him because he has never been so entraced by someone before, not even Seulgi. He thinks he is falling too hard and too fast, all he could hope is no one would see it from his face how much love he has for her.
Waving at the girl who was standing hear the backstage door, Kai couldn’t be more than thankful for Jieun to ask him why he likes to dance. Because of that one question, he found his passion and satisfaction for dance once again. And he finally got a taste of enjoyment when he performs. The first in 2 years.
When the concert ended, Kai wiped his sweat in satisfaction as he made his way backstage to see his family waiting for him there just like every other concert in the past 2 years.
“Good job my son.” His father patted his back encouragingly. “You did well.”
“You worked hard for this Jongin.” His mother added.
“I must say your singing improved.” Hyein which he replied with a hearty laugh.
“Good job my little brother. I’m proud of you.” Pulling him into a hug, Saein could tell his brother was different on stage today. And she could sense his radiating happiness which she knew her entire family sensed it too. “Let’s take a family picture then!”
“Wait.” Kai pulled away immediately, his eyes searching for someone in that crowded waiting room. But that figure was nowhere to be seen. “Wait for a moment. I need to find someone.”
Running into the dressing room, Kai finally saw the figure he had been dying to see ever since he finished his concert. He slowly approached the girl who was packing his makeup alone while all the staff were celebrating outside.
“Jieun-ah.”
Upon hearing her name, Jieun turned around quickly, surprised to see him here. “Oh? Jongin..”
“Why are you here? Your family is waiting for you outside.”
“Yeah I know.” Kai ignored her but continued walking towards her slowly till he reached in front of her. “We are waiting for you to take a family photo.”
“Family photo?” Jieun didn’t like how her chest felt stuffy instinctively when she heard those words. Before her face could her away, she turned her back on him and started packing again. “It’s okay.. You guys go ahead..”
“Why?” Kai stared at her backview but Jieun gave no reply. She didn’t know what was wrong with her either.
“Jieun-ah..”
“Yeah?”
When she hear no reply from Kai, she turned around instinctively but was greeted by a smiley Jongin.
“Jieun-ah..” Kai wished he could tell her just how much she had touched him, taught him, and made him happy. Just how much when she smiles at him, it touches his heart in a way that no one else can every come close to. Just the way he wants nothing more than to be able to see her and hold her hand like earlier everyday for the rest of his life. But, he couldn’t tell her all these; the way he truly feels them, because there weren’t enough words in this world that can truly explains just how he feels so they invented hugs to let people know how much he loves them without saying anything.
Stepping forward, Kai closed up the small distance between them and wrapped his arms around her body. “Thank you for everything.”
“It..It’s nothing.” Jieun looked up and that moment she forgot who he was. She forgets all about his fame, his money, the millions of girls lusting, crying, screaming over him. Because that moment, she sees him.
A boy with eyes soulful that she could get lost in them forever. A boy who has a smile so bright even the sun would be jealous. A boy with laughter so appealing that it’s extremely contagious. A boy whose name is Kim Jongin and not Kai.
“Let’s go out later.” Kai beamed as he look down at the girl in his arms. “I want to bring you somwhere.”
“Won’t you be tired?”
Shaking his head, Kai had a wider grin. Right now, he is so energetic that he don’t think he can sleep tonight.
“Okay.” Jieun’s eyes twinkled with bliss, not realizing her arms were also wrapped around his waist.
Sorry for the lack of updates recently. Just finished writing my 3,000 words essay while juggling all my part time work and all.. Could have started writing earlier if I didn't have to rewrite some parts of my essay.
Nonetheless, I'm back! Will update more chapters as I write!
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