Awake

The wet letter being folded in half and gently, I place back in the box along with the necklace. Tears flow from the corner of my eyes as I clutch the box hardly in my grip. Somehow, I feel extremely sad and I just want to cry my heart out. The tears won't stop flow across my cheek and it's not because of the freezing wind. It's because of one special person named, Moon Jongup.

I raised my head up to look at the clear sky and close my eyes for a moment. The silent in the hospital area make me feel even more sad. There's nothing can soothe me as I feel something twinge in my heart. It's just me and the pain.

"Why am I the only one who feel this pain?" I blink my eyes and the tears rapidly make it's escape. The world is hating on me and blaming on me. What should I do? The tears won't stop stream and I don't bother to wipe it. I just let it escape freely from my eyes.

After I feel a bit relieved, I decide to visit Jongup again so I wipe all the remaining tears with the back of my palm. Sighing, I stand up from the bench and keep the box safely in my pocket.

"Cheer up, Haewon." I claim to myself as I rub the invincible dirt from my skirt. Today feel longer than any other days and I can't give up yet.

With a smile across my face, I nod to myself and stroll to enter the hospital and straight to Jongup's room. Will Haeri and Jongup's brother still there?

As I busily searching for Jongup's floor, something caught my eyes. There's some flowers that being sold on the first floor and it's exactly where I am. 

"Maybe it's didn't hurt to buy some flowers for Jongup. Plus, today is his birthday and I still didn't give him anything." I make my way to the flower shop and examine the best flowers for Jongup.

There's so many flowers here and I kinda wanna buy all of them but I need to choose carefully. I need something that bright and cheerful without any odor that can be overwhelming to the sick people. It's take a few minutes to decide which flowers should I buy.

"I'll take this roses." I smile to the florist who's in charge at the counter and hand her some money.

She takes the money and gives back the change. Then, she pass me a cute tiny pink card together with a pen. She asks me to write something on it and point me to sit at the table beside the counter. I pull the chair out of the table and sit on it while think about the letter.

What should I write? I keep click the pen, try to obtain some good ideas but nothing came out.

"Let just keep it simple and clear." I convince myself and start to write something on it.

Be healthy :)

With that, I give back the pen to the florist and bow at her before I leave the shop. Jongup will like this roses right? It's hard for me to decide what flowers since I never know what his favorite or something his dislikes.

I walk to the lift section and wait for the lift to Jongup's floor. The hospital is so quiet and somehow I feel like I don't want to stay any longer at this place.

When the lift stop and open at Jongup's floor, I step out and skip to his room. Fortunately, I still remember his room number. I walk straight to his room and stop right in front of the door. My heart suddenly beat crazily and once again, I break into a cold sweat.

I close my eyes for a while and breathe properly before I step into the room. As I open the door, all eyes are on me and I feel really awkward right now.

Zelo realized my presence when I open the door and he quickly runs towards me. I look perplexed with his action but still follow him as he drags me outside the room and close back the door. We just stand outside Jongup's room in silence.

"What's wrong, Zelo?" His sudden action make me puzzled for a while. Why did he pull me out here? He just stare at me with mixed feeling.

"We have a good news and bad news for you." Zelo suddenly said after a few minutes in silence.

"What?" I look at him in desperate since he mentioned a bad news. How bad the bad news can be?

"Let me tell you the good news first." Zelo state calmly and I quickly nod. Please, let it be good for Jongup.

"The good news is Jongup already gain his conscious." Zelo smile as he points to Jongup's room.

Slowly, the smile appear on my face and I hug Zelo tightly before dash to Jongup's room. It's a relieved since he already awake and nothing bad happend, right?

"Noona, you don't listen to the bad news yet." Zelo tries to block my way but I already stand in front of the door.

Before Zelo can reach me, I turn the knob and again, all of eyes are on me. But this time it doesn't matter to me at all because at this very moment, all I can think is Jongup.

I enter the room with a happy look and place the roses that I bought earlier on the table beside Jongup's bed. Haeri just scan my movement as her eyes never leave me.

"Did Jongup already awake?" Without understand the true meaning behind their face, I let out a question.

All of them didn't answer me include Haeri so I guess I should look at him by my own eyes. What with people here? They act strange in front of me. Shouldn't they be happy since their brother already gain some conscious? I shrug off the unknown question in my mind and straight to Jongup's bed.

Yeah, Zelo's right. He already awake and now he's staring at me. I feel guilty yet happy since nothing bad happen to him.

"Jongup, I'm sorry. Is it hurt?" I approach him while his eyes set on Haeri.

"Who's she?" A words that escape from his mouth make me froze for a while. Haeri quickly get to Jongup as she walks pass me and sit on the bed beside Jongup.

"Huh?" I look at both of them with wide eyes and just stay on my spot.

"Who is she? How does she knows my name?" Jongup asks Haeri as they intertwined their hand together. What a picture in front of me right now.

"She is my cousin. Are you okay?" Haeri puts her palm on Jongup's forehead and he just let it be.

I thought April already pass. This is not April fool, right? What trick are they playing with me right now? It's not funny at all. Maybe Jongup want to surprise me? Yeah, all of them are in the same boat. They want to fool me around, right?

Suddenly, I can feel someone presence behind me. I didn't turn since my eyes can never leave the sight in front of me right now. Just wait like this for a minutes and they will shout that they success to trick me. Just wait.

But, the time keep tickling and nothing happen so far. Did they forgot their intention to surprise me?

"Jongup hyung got dementia due to the accident." Zelo's voice can be heard whisper behind me. And that time, I forgot how to breathe.

For a while, I think my world has been crushed down. It felt like a tornado of a thousand emotions was tearing away at my insides. Dementia? Is he totally forget about me? Then how about Haeri? How come did he still remember her? Did Haeri is special person in Jongup's life?

Once again, Zelo drags me outside the room and not for second Jongup looks at me. His attention only on Haeri and it's kinda hurt. The way he talks with Haeri in his bright voice and the way he smiles at her is painful.

As we are outside the room, Zelo looks at me pathetically. He seems like don't know how to explain to me as he keeps raised down his head. We just stand there in soundlessness until Yongguk approach us and explain everything to me.

Jongup only remember his past memories and it happen to be Haeri as well. He didn't recall anything about the present and it happen to be me. The doctor said that there's no cure in this disease but I believe in miracle. Jongup will remember me, right?

After hearing the explanation, Zelo and Yongguk leave me alone as they enter the room back. I just stand there and  laugh dryly. What is this? Why all thing happen in one time? Why did my life become so complicated? I keep staring at that door without move an inch.

Unconsciously, I cry.

"This is unfair." I mentally shout in my mind and fall on the floor. How dare you leave me when you already make me fall far for you.

I'm not ready for this, that we will be stranger from today. Will it be a chance for you to remember me? Even the scale is unbalance, will it happen?