Give up?

The atmosphere is so calm as some birds fly and chirp quietly, unlike my heart that beat in uncontrollable nervous. I wipe the sweat on my forehead and try to breathe properly. This is more scarier than my final examination.

I place the basket that full of fruit beside me as I keep wipe the cold sweat on my palm. It's not like I want to gain a sympathy from her by brought the fruits.

Actually, I told mum that I will go to Haeri's house so mum asked me to give the fruits to Mrs Yoon. Since I need to send the fruits to Haeri's house, I put the letter that I wrote yesterday to Haeri.

I lift up the basket and put my index finger on the bell but I don't press on it yet.

''What should I do? I can't back off if I want to fix back my relation with Haeri unnie.'' As I'm about to press the bell, suddenly I hear someone voice behind me.

''What are you doing here?'' The voice make me startled in my spot.

My heart keep told me to run away but this time I can't follow what my heart said. It's seems wrong. With all the might that remain in me, I slowly turn around and find Haeri right behind me.

Her eyes looks hurt but she tries to hide it with a frown on her face. She doesn't look happy with my presence so I decide to have a quick talk with her. She eyed the basket on my right hand and smirk.

''You think you can buy my forgiveness with those things?'' She looks at me in disgusting way and rolled her eyes.

Her words sound like provoked to me and I slowly close my eyes. I need to think properly if I don't want to create any fight with her.

In this case, I better...keep calm. Seriously, I can't talk back to her. It's will add her anger towards me and it's will be extra hard for me. You better be grateful since I'm a considerate person.

So, let's pretend you're deaf, Haewon. Just for a few seconds.

''Unnie, can you spend a few minutes with me? It won't take too long. I promise.'' I open my back my eyes and smile at her.

''No. Get out from here.'' She hardly push me and I almost fall on the cold ground.

Fortunately, the fruits is safe in my grip. It's will be a waste if they drop on the ground. As I realized that Haeri's about to shut the door in front of me, I quickly put my leg between the frame of the door since I can't let Haeri enter her house.

Not until we solve our own problems. I don't want to drag this problem till forever. I need to do something good and solve it well by hook or by crook. 

''Wait a minute.'' I know my face look horrible right now due to hold the pain on my leg. My voice almost disappear as I shout at Haeri to stop. This is freaking hurt, I swear.

She won't budge with my command as she tries to shut the door again. My eyes widen when she looks at me with boring expression and almost push the door in front of me with my leg still there.

Does she has no mercy?

However, I manage to put my hand to stop her action. Even I'm not sure about my fool decision to put my hand, but I still try.

''At least, take this fruits.'' I pass her the fruits and quickly take my precious hand and leg before they off from my body.

Unknowingly, I smile when she takes the fruits. All the pain in my hand and leg already heal after she hold the basket and smile at me.

''I don't want anything from you.'' She throw the fruits straight into my face and shut the door hardly.

The time seems so slow as if I'm in slow motion world. One by one fruit hit my face and I still smile like a dummy mannequin.

Why?

My smile slowly fade away and I try my hard not to look pathetic at this time.

''You know what, you shouldn't do that. If you don't want, you can hand back the fruits to me.'' I whisper to myself and look at the mess in front of me.

All the fresh fruits already split into pieces on the ground. I bend down to clean all the scatter fruits and put in the basket back. I wonder why she throws this fruits.

''Is it crime to look delicious?'' I pick the terrible watermelon and put it in the basket.

I'm okay.

As I try to reach for a card that I put with the fruits, a hand already grab it and pass it to me. I look at the unfamiliar shoes and take the card back.

''Thank you.'' I simply said without look at the owner of the hand.

''Why are you here?'' He crouch beside me and I turn my attention to him.

Why did you keep appear when I'm in despair? 

''Just want to talk something with Haeri unnie.'' I answer and stand up since I already clean the mess.

''Are you okay? You look...'' Jongup eyed me up and down.

''Terrible? Yeah, I'm okay.'' I grin at him widely.

Actually, I don't want you to see me in this kind of state. It's kinda embarrassing. I was sad and subdued.

''I guess I need to go now. Omma will worried if I spend a long time here.'' I quickly walk away and hope that he will not stop me from run away.

I quickened my pace when I hear someone follow me and in the end, I just run. Run away from this thing. Even I heard Jongup's voice calls me to stop, I still run without turn my back.

Sometimes, I get so sad. So sad that I completely shut down. I stare blankly at the busy road and stop for a while.

The busy road let out a loud noise as someone press the honk and the loud engine can be heard. Even the noise is really loud, I still can't hear the single sound from it.

Because in that moment, I feel like I'm not exist.

Suicide is a reasonable option.

True.