How many of your lives have been planned out before you were even born? 

I’m sure many of you were left with choices. You got to choose how to spend your life. What you wanted to study, what you wanted to be once you grow up – 

And when I say many of you, I was referring to humans.

Only humans were left with choices. 

Werewolves, on the other hand, were not. Everything was predestined, prearranged. If you were lucky, you were born into groups of Independent or Family Werewolves – their lives were better than Lone Werewolves. Even then, you grow up being told where your life would lead.

Steps that needed to be taken and completed.

And they would all lead back to protecting your royal – this was in my case. Fortunate from a Werewolf’s point of view.

You are to train and train…and train for one reason only.

For your royal.

Your life serves one purpose.

For your royal.

To sum it up simply, you live for them. 

***

The earliest moments in my life consisted of training in the backfield of my home. Father was barely around – he was protecting his royal and mother died before I could even create a memory of her face in my mind. 

It all felt meaningless.

I didn’t see a purpose to it all. 

“Father, what am I doing this for?” I decided to ask one day when the curiosity proved to be too much while I eyed the black uniform he always sported. 

“You need to become strong – one day, you will also come to protect someone.” 

“A royal.”

“Yes.” He simply answered. “It’s hard to wrap your head around it now but when that day comes, it will all make sense.”

So, I kept that thought in mind. That though the timing was ambiguous, I will just do what is asked of me until then. 

The first time I stepped foot into the castle, my father’s words rang true. Even now, I can still recall how it all started. As if it was a fresh memory made just seconds ago.

It started with a smile.

An innocent and simple smile that was enough to stir something in my heart and further solidified my future. 

***

The first days, weeks, months, years were the hardest. So hard that nothing can be compared to it. The Princess was hard to control and hard to have her listen.

She was wild.

She marched at the beat of her own drum while disregarding the eyes that followed her every movement. Eyes that judged and disapproved of the wildness that she left in her every step.

And with every step, her smile remained. Unchanged.

But, when I said my days were hard – I didn’t mean that duty was hard. What was hard was the strength I needed to suppress the strong feeling that whirled strongly within my chest when I caught as much as a glimpse of her.

Focusing was hard when the feeling only distracted.

Thinking of one thing was difficult when the feeling was telling you something else.

Desire grew while restraint was heavily exercised.

It was excruciating.

It was pure agony.

***

It was only a brief period where I can be certain when I say it got easier. For a brief period I was able to ignore it. A brief period where I felt like I could pretend it didn’t exist. 

But like a spark to every candle, her smile would remind once more.

It was always her smile. 

And it only got harder the older we grew. Because just like our heights, the feeling only grew just as quickly. Every moment we spoke, every time she smiled, and every time we touched – I couldn’t get enough of it. 

I craved it. 

So, I needed to remind myself of who I am. I needed to remember what kind of position I was in. I needed to remember that there was someone out there better for her. 

I placed my focus back on duties – it was relieving to be sent outside the castle. Yet, being away from her was a double-edged sword. It was relief while the only place I desired to be was next to her. 

I wanted to hear her stories, her complaints – anything. I only wanted to know her. And during these times, I would also feel the proudest since she was the person that I fell in love with. Fate couldn’t have brought a better person for me – no one would be as perfect as her, no one would be able to measure up to her.

She was bright.

Opinionated.

Strong.

And mostly, kind.

But, that’s where the problem came in. That was the part of her that made me worried to no end. Being kind in this world meant going against a lot of people. People who could harm her.

She knew and didn’t care.

On the other hand, I couldn’t handle the thought of her acquiring a single scratch or seeing her in tears.

It would remind me that I had failed in some way to protect her, failed in my purpose. 

So I took measures.

Often times, extreme ones, to make sure she was safe.

***

“You’re a Werewolf, what are you doing by following a human?”

I stared at the man before me. How many times have we run into each other? I’m starting to wonder if this is all planned.

“What do you want with me?”

“I want you on my side.” Seonjang smiled back while he wandered about in a carefree manner. For someone who the kingdoms were looking for, he appeared fearless. 

“Why me?”

“You’re the top – why wouldn’t I want the strongest on my side?”

I listened carefully at the surroundings, we were still in the middle of training. One of the Knights should be rampaging at this point in time and I needed to hurry and return. 

“Listen – “ Seonjang appealed to me. “We aren’t meant to follow humans. We are meant for greater things and I know you’re smart enough to agree.”

“You’re wasting your time.”

“You are fighting on the losing side – it’s a fact of life.” Seonjang voiced before sighing. “But, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”

All I could remember thinking was that there would be nothing in the world that would convince me to leave her side. It was almost ridiculous from my standpoint hearing Seonjang try to reason with me. 

Nothing would be enough.

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