You know, everything in this world is temporary. Everything is meant to eventually disappear one way or another– it was just life’s way of doing things. All good things are meant to come to an end; it’ll never remain forever. That’s just not how life was made to be.

The more you hold things closer to your heart, the more attached you become. The more hurt and pain you’ll experience. So, it’s just easier to distance yourself and your heart from potentially painful things. Make sure something that is so easily loved would never come into contact with your heart. Don’t dream of ever taking such risks.

Because when the world is like this, that’s the only thing you can do.

***

I wasn’t always like this. People aren’t born this way– they grow to become this way.

I used to smile a lot, I used to laugh, and I used to look at the world with more happiness. I used to see the light. The light that held endless dreams and hopes. It didn’t matter what the circumstances were– with light, there were infinite possibilities.

But now, there wasn’t any trace of it left. 

My feelings died away. 

You can say a part of me died as well.

They died along with her that day. 

I was convinced that as long as they were gone, there would be no pain.

No more sadness.

No more anger.

But despite doing just that, there was one thing I couldn’t possibly account for. The level of fear that started to take shape within my mind. 

It grew and it ate away at me. 

She loved them– the humans. And just like her, I wanted to do the same. I would listen to her stories about how although they had no such physical capabilities in likeness to Werewolves, their strength and perseverance never fell behind ours. She admired them. 

And soon, she grew to love them.

Maybe it was because she loved her royal to that extent. Her Princess was kind, she was fair. As much care she gave to her royal, her Princess returned the same amount back without question. What she saw in her royal, she thought other humans had the same potential. She wished for peace and understanding between the two races and for some time, I believed it would be possible while ignoring my realistic tendencies. Because whatever her dream was, it was also mine. 

But the moment she was taken from me, everything that I had carelessly pushed aside came back to haunt me. 

I grew to learn that it was better to distance ourselves. As two different races, it was better to just live separately, only then would peace actually come. But that was also wishful thinking. People are driven by the desire for power– they were greedy. Peace was unattainable. 

We were so different. We held different things in higher esteem. We didn’t have the same troubles. There was no way understanding could be obtained between the humans and Werewolves. 

I had thought of two possibilities. One, we continue living this way. We continue to live on under the leadership of humans and just like how it had started hundreds of years ago, it shall continue for hundreds more. 

Or two, there will be war. 

See, I’m sure I wasn’t the only that noticed the unsettlement among the members of my race and if the humans say otherwise, they are simply living in denial. There is only so long you can keep suppressing a group of people. There is only so much they can take before they explode and whether it grows into a larger problem or whether it will be crushed, will depend on our supreme rulers. If you were to ask me what I thought– I just wanted to live in a way that wouldn’t cause trouble for myself. I wanted to move through life, and if death came quicker for me than for others then I wouldn’t put up much of a fight. When you have no motivation or drive, what exactly is keeping you alive? What is the reason that urges you to wake up another day?

I didn’t have a reason. I didn’t have a drive. 

I have already begun to dwell in darkness– a place that would be better for no one to enter. I have already given up looking for the light. I watched it disappear after I have exhausted my efforts. 

***

I was content with being left where I was. It was easier when I was serving under Prince Kangjun. He was always standing on the other side, residing in a different kind of darkness. A darkness that not only consumed him but would only be satisfied if it consumed others.

So, you could imagine the change I experienced being under the Princess’ care. 

Oh, how hard it was to