I wobbled my way to the house where I supposed to meet everyone, I was feeling in trance that I didn’t realize Seunghyun was standing in front of me.

“Hey are you alright?” I bumped to him, I waa knocked out of my trance and smiled warmly at Seunghyun.

“I’m fine…” I rubbed the back of my arms feeling the cold breeze of December.

“Come in now, you’re cold I bet! I prepared you your favorite hot choco.” he kissed the top of my head as he slightly ushered me in the house, everyone was settled having conversations among each other until I noticed Minzy in a corner deep In thoughts.

“Maknae?” I was holding my cup of hot choco, she looked at me with a relived face.

“Have you told them?” I asked, she just shook her head with a pout on her face.

“We should tell them then…” I heaved a sigh and pulled Minzy to my side as we face the whole group of people.

“Today at work...Minzy and I were having the fashion show rehearsal….we saw someone unexpectedly...we saw Kwon Ji Yong.” the place was filled with dead air and only the tapping sound of tree branches on the window due to sudden strong wind outside.

“What?” Chaerin said bitterly.

“What did he say?” she continued.

“He said he doesn’t know us, oppa just ignored us!” Minzy frowned at the thought.

“WHAT THE HELL??” Chaerin shouted.

“How could he?” Taeyang asked softly.

“We need to talk to him...he can’t just pretend he doesn’t know us.” Chaerin was ready to go out but I stopped her.

“If that’s what he wants...to forget us then let it be...we forgot about him anyways…” I said in cold voice.

“you just want t let him go just like that?” Chaerin was angry but she tried to control.

“He’s not worth our time… he has forgotten us already! We should do the same…” I said.

“AND WHAT?? LET HIM BE? DARA YOU OUT OF ALL PEOPLE OUGHT TO KNOW HOW MUCH WE SUFFERED WHEN HE LFET!!” Chaerin shouted at me.

“THE MORE REASON I WANT TO FORGET ABOUT HIM! DO YOU THINK IT’LL CHANGE ANYTHING IF WE CONFRONT HIM NOW!? HE ALREADY RUINED EVERYONE’S LIFE! NOTHING WILL FIX THIS ANYMORE, WE ARE BROKEN BUT THE MORE YOU LET HIM IN IN YOUR LIFE, THE MORE BROKEN YOU GET!” I took a sharp breath as my anger exploded, everyone flinched at the voice I have released, I never shouted at anyone before especially not Chaerin. But I guessed these emotions has piled up since the day Ji Yong left, I never get to released it until tonight.

“Dara...we understand your point...but you gotta understand that all of us wants answers to why he left us? Was he not satisfied of our care? Did we do something wrong? We just need answers Sandara. If you are content to this situation. Well we aren’t, we want a piece of mind and a closure to this mess. Of all people you need this mess fixed Sandara, look at you. You can’t even control your anger! You just shouted at me like I’m some person...I’m your OLDER cousin Dara, have some respect.” after that she stormed out followed by Seungri who gave me an apologetic look, everyone remained on their spot until I spoke up.

“Anyone wants to follow her lead? ANYONE NEEDS CLOSURE! Then GO!” I pushed the vase out of the coffee table, it was followed with the shattering glass on the floor. Everyone looked at me at some point, they looked hurt and angry at the same time.

“What’s wrong with you Dara? I’m sorry if Chaerin offended you, but I can’t believe you’re making us choose who to follow, you’re way out of it Park.” Bom said in a stern voice of disappointment before following me- , my cousin Taeyang didn’t look at me in the eye and followed Bom suite.

“Unnie, please relax…” Minzy comforted me as the tears began to form in my eyes, I felt awfully bad for getting angry at them but they don’t understand the pain, I don’t to feel the hurt anymore and the more I entertain Ji Yong’s presence the more I remember the pain he had brought upon us.

“Are you ok noona?” Daesung had walked up to me with concer while Seunghyun remained standing by the open door unmoved, after crying I had assured the siblings that I was really ok.

“I’m fine dongseng, you better go home now because there’s no more reason to have party tonight.” I smiled half-heartedly at them.

“If there’s anything we can help, we’re just a phone call away. Don’t stress yourself noona, you know we love you and they do too.” Daesung’s word brought comfort to my heart, I hugged them as they leave. When their car had turned the corner, Seunghyun and I finally looked at each other. None of us had spoken a word, I slowly moved across the living room but stop mid-way and turned my heels to him, and the silence was killing me.

“Do you have anything to say to me?” I put up a good face of blankness, he looked at me with a slight of disappointment that led to my crushing heart, I can take other’s reaction but not from my fiancé.

“You know Dara that I support you all the way…but you need to open your mind in this case…” he stepped closer to me while avoiding my stare, I wonder  why?

“I understand that you’re hurt about the incident 4 years ago and you’re keeping yourself from getting hurt again but you gotta understand that it’s not only you that is involved in this mess.” He took a deep sigh before continuing.

“You need to know that they want to fix things with Ji Yong whether it’s to reconcile or to just have closure.” He rubbed both of my arms.

“Mianhe…” I began to speak but he had cut me off.

“Don’t apologize to me, those words are should told to your cousins and the others. Sandara you better watch your mouth next time, I know you’re in the hype of anger with Ji yong but don’t vent it on them, ok?” he didn’t smile when he supposed to when he comforts me, he slowly turned away preparing to leave when I suddenly stopped him.

“Seunghyun are you mad?” I was afraid he was, it’s enough for Chaerin and Bom to be mad at me but I don’t think I can take it anymore if Seunghyun turns his back on me.

“No Dara…I’m worried…scared…now that Ji Yong’s back.” He finally uttered the reason of his weird behavior.

“Are you afraid that I might go back with him? That’s impossible-“

“Dara I know you well enough…the way your burst a moment ago showed that you still have something for Ji Yong but I don’t know what feeling is that, I’m afraid I admit it.” He looked down and I felt a hint of smile forming the corners of my lips.

“Pabo…” I hit his head slightly as I hugged him, I felt hug me back and my smile grew bigger.

“Can’t you see this ring on my finger? I’m getting married to you soon, you think I’m gonna back down just because of him?” I pulled away to show my finger.

“I love you Seunghyun.” I kissed him softly.

“ I love you too.” He said with a smile. I really do love him and I really wish my heart won’t betray those words, it had happened before but I won’t let it happen the next time.