Few Weeks Later...

“Hey, let’s go to that creek or lake.” Kai suggested as he lounged on the couch.

“No.”

“C’mon, why not?”

“I’m afraid you’ll drown again.” Kyungsoo replied as he hugged himself. “I don’t want you to die for real this time.”

“Please.” Kai begged.

‘I can’t just say no to this guy.’ Kyungsoo thought to himself.

“Fine.” Kyungsoo replied. “But under one condition, you have to be careful and not slip again.”

“Yes!” Kai grinned as he ran towards his tent.

After a few more weeks Kai still slept in his tent while Kyungsoo craved Kai’s presence next to him. After all this time, Kyungsoo knew, he was in love with Kai. But the only question was, will it even be possible? Especially if Kai has a girl waiting for him back home.

……….

“C’mon Kyungsoo!” Kai smiled as his pace was getting faster and faster as the sound of flowing water was getting close.

“Someone’s excited.” Kyungsoo chuckled.

“Yeah! I haven’t been here in a while.”

“Same here.” Kyungsoo smiled as the faded memory of Kai played in him mind.

‘I just noticed Kyungsoo hyung never came back here ever since that incident happened.’ Kai thought as they got closer to the creek.

“Hey, you bring a towel and clothes?” Kyungsoo asked as Kai nodded and showed him the backpack he was carrying. “Okay then, have fun kiddo.”

Kai smiled as he slipped his shirt off and put it inside his backpack and walked into the clear fresh water.

Kyungsoo watched the younger boy as he dipped his head in the water getting his hair wet. He then walked towards a rock and sat down on it.

“Hey Kyungsoo, why don’t you get in the water with me?” Kai asked as Kyungsoo’s cheeks turned slightly red while he gripped his bandaged arm.

“No, it’s fine. It looks cold.” Kyungsoo replied with a slight smile. “Plus, if you get sick again I can always take care of you.”

“Okay, whatever. Your choice.” Kai replied as he continued to soak himself in the water. “But you do look cold. You’re always wearing a long-sleeve shirt.”

“Yeah? Well, it’s my choice right?” Kyungsoo chuckled nervously as he felt the bandages through the sleeve of his shirt.

‘It’s been a while already and I still have scars on my arm. I’m so stupid.’ Kyungsoo thought.

“Hey Kyungsoo, are you alright?” Kai asked. “Anything bothering you? If there is, tell me, whatever it is.”

“Thanks, but nothing’s wrong.” Kyungsoo smiled half-heartedly.

‘Ah…I wish I could just tell him how much I was hurt knowing he has a girlfriend that’s waiting for him right now. Also telling him how much I fell for him. So much to tell him really.’

“Wow, you know what I just noticed?” Kyungsoo said.

“And what is that?” Kai replied.

“You’ve been here for almost 3 months.”

“Wow, time goes by fast.”

“Yeah, and you’ve stopped cussing.”

“What? No, what the hell? I only stopped because I don’t want anything taken away.” Kai replied.

“Oh, okay.” Kyungsoo replied as he put his head down. “I was just hoping. But I guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah, you were f*ucking wrong.” Kai hissed as he stared at him.

‘It’s like he never changed. I remember the first time I met him, he said I could never change him. Maybe he was right.’ Kyungsoo frowned to himself.

“Haha! I’m just kidding.” Kai laughed as he got out of the water and put his shoulder around Kyungsoo. “Your face was priceless!”

‘His arm is around me.’ Kyungsoo squealed in his thoughts as his face turned red.

“You okay buddy?” Kai asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. That wasn’t a good joke Kai!” Kyungsoo crossed his arms.

“But you’re fun to mess with. Don’t worry, I don’t cuss as much now like before. No need to worry.” Kai smiled as he poked Kyungsoo’s cheek as he picked up his towel and dried his hair.

‘He’s being really touchy right now. I don’t know how I should react. Should I be happy or sad? That I just don’t know.’

“But Kai-“ Kyungsoo said. “Have you really changed?”

“That, I can’t answer. It’s your observations, am I right? It’s your answer if I changed or not.” Kai shrugged.

“I guess you’re right. But I think you have changed. We just need to work on a few more things.” Kyungsoo replied.

‘Actually, he’s good enough; I just don’t want him to leave me. Not just yet.’

“Oh, okay. I hope I’ll get better.” Kai smiled as he slipped on his shirt. “Hey, you don’t mind me changing shorts right?”

“N-no, not at all.” Kyungsoo stuttered.

“Thanks.” Kai smiled as he turned around and slipped off his shorts revealing his boxers while Kyungsoo stared at him biting his bottom lip.

‘Damn. So ing perfect.’

Kyungsoo looked away and tried to not look at the changing Kai, who was changing into a pair of dry boxers.

“Okay, let’s go.” Kai smiled as he put his wet clothes in a plastic bag.

Kyungsoo just sat there not noticing Kai was talking to him. He was in his own world.

“Hey, Kyungsoo?” Kai said as he looked at Kyungsoo who stared out into space. “Earth to Kyungsoo. Earth to Kyungsoo.”

Kai looked at him strangely and pulled Kyungsoo’s sleeve, making it show his collarbones.

“Kyungsoo hyung!” Kai yelled as Kyungsoo snapped back into reality.

“Oh, sorry Kai.” Kyungsoo apologized as he looked at Kai who was apparently still tugging on his sleeve. “What are you doing?”

“You blanked out on me!” Kai pouted.

“I’m sorry, I was thinking of something. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. Just don’t blank out on me like that again, Okay?”

“Yes sir.” Kyungsoo smiled as Kai slipped his hand into Kyungsoo’s hand.

“Let’s go back.” Kai announced as Kyungsoo nodded as his hand was still enveloped his Kai’s hand.

As Kyungsoo stood up Kai kept holding his hand not letting it go. Kyungsoo didn’t want to say anything; it wasn’t like he didn’t like it. He loved it.

He followed Kai while still holding his hand. He never let go of Kai’s hand and Kai never let go of his.

‘His hands get sweaty, but I don’t really mind.’ Kyungsoo smiled to himself as he held onto Kai’s hand like a little boy following his dad.

‘But then, he might do this to his girlfriend, so….This hand holding thing, just maybe mean nothing to him.’

……….

As they arrived Kai let go of Kyungsoo’s hand. Kai noticed as he let go of Kyungsoo’s hand the older boy flinched.

‘I wonder why he did that. I hope he didn’t notice I have sweaty hands though. I feel like I ruined the hand holding moment.’

‘I somewhat enjoyed holding his hand. He didn’t let go of my hand, but he sure has some soft hands. His hands are like Sulli’s hand. Man, I really miss her. I wonder when I’ll see her again.’

“I’ll make some dinner okay?” Kyungsoo announced as he walked towards the kitchen.

“Okay, I’ll set up the plates.” Kai replied as he walked towards the cabinets and got out the plates and bowls.

……….

“Kyungsoo, can I talk to you about something?” Kai asked as the both of them put their bowls in the sink.

“Go ahead.” Kyungsoo replied.

“I miss Sulli, a lot.” Kai mumbled. “Can I call her? Please?”

“Y-you want to call Sulli?” Kyungsoo asked taken aback by Kai’s statement.

“Yeah, and if you do. I’ll start calling you hyung.” Kai begged.

“Oh…Umm okay.” Kyungsoo mumbled as he walked towards one of the kitchen drawers and took out Kai’s phone. “Here you go.” Kyungsoo said half-heartedly.

“Thanks hyung.” Kai smiled as he dialed his phone. “Wow, good service here.”

“I know right. It’s shocking.” Kyungsoo chuckled as he sat next to Kai who had put his phone on his ear.

“Hello?” Kai said. “Hi Sulli, I’ve missed you.” Kai smiled to himself as Kyungsoo watched him.

‘He sure looks happy talking to this Sulli girl.’ Kyungsoo hissed in jealousy.

‘But what’s important is that he’s happy right?’

“I love you too Sulli.” Kai smiled.

Right there, Kyungsoo just wanted to break down. He stood up and rapidly walked towards the bathroom.

“Kyungsoo hyung?“ Kyungsoo heard Kai say as he closed the door behind him.

‘Wounds can always heal right?’ Kyungsoo thought as he opened one of the sink drawers.

“Hello there, I will need some relief again.” Kyungsoo said to the silver blade as this vision became blurry. He picked up the blade and sunk it deep into his skin.

‘Ah, I’m getting stupid. I shouldn’t even be doing this. But hearing him say those three words hurt so much. I never fell this much for someone. I hate it.’

Kyungsoo stood there failing to notice he forgot to lock the door behind him. He stood there making new cuts on his old cuts. Turning his white arm red.

……….

“Okay, I’ll see you soon. Love you too, bye.” Kai hung up on his girlfriend and looked around. “Kyungsoo hyung?” Kai said as he stood up.

‘Where did he go? He left after I said I love you.’ Kai thought as he saw the bathroom lights through the bathroom door’s cracks.

“Kyungsoo hyung?” Kai called out as he noticed the door was unlocked. As he pushed the door open he saw Kyungsoo crying while there were drops of blood on the floor.

Kai looked at him shocked.

“K-Kyungsoo hyung?” Kai whispered as Kyungsoo jumped and dropped something.

“Oh, Kai.” Kyungsoo whispered as he turned his head.

“Did you just drop a blade?” Kai asked astonished.

“Maybe.” Kyungsoo whispered.