Hurting Inside
99 Paper Cranes (Completed)P.S. I was listening to S.H.E's "Xie Xie Ni De Wen Rou" while writing this one, I think the song is appropriate for Kit and Danson :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for being tender
Holding love, waiting quietly
My two hands are actually trembling
But what can I give you?
I am just someone he has forgotten
My heart is emptied by a sweep
--
Hannah, Danson and Kit were sitting outside Hannah's house. Danson was treating the wounds and bruises that Kit got when she had a fight with Trixie a while ago. As he applied alcohol on her wound, Kit flinched. “Does it hurt?” he asked in a worried tone. Kit slowly shook his head. “It doesn't hurt... these wounds and bruises doesn't hurt...” she said in a low voice. Then, he looked up at Danson. “But, it hurts here...” she said, pointing to her heart. “My heart hurts so much that I can't breathe...” Kit leaned at Hannah, her tears voluntarily falling from her eyes once again. Once again, Danson's heart felt like being wrenched as he watched her cry. “I wish I could do something to make you feel better, Kit...” Hannah said in a low voice. Kit tried to smile as she shook her head. “There's nothing that can be done now. Just let me cry for a while... maybe I will feel better later...” Danson put her arms around Kit, then he looked at Hannah. Hannah could see the worried look on his face. Then, Hannah turned to Kit. “It's going to be all right....” she whispered to her. “You may have lost Calvin, but you still have us. We 're still you're friends. We'll stay with you...” Kit looked up at Hannah and Danson, both of them smiling at her. Kit wiped the tear from her eyes, and smiled at them. “Thank you...” she said. She put her arms around her two friends. “Thank you for being here with me.”
--
“Calvin, we have to talk...” Danson told Calvin the next day when he bumped into him at school. Calvin just ignored him, and went on his way. But Danson would not give up, he followed Calvin. “Look, Cal. You can be mad at me, but don't be mad at Kit.” he said to him. Calvin paused, then, he faced him. “So, you really took my place after all. Frankly, I don't care anymore.” he said to him. Danson could not believe that Calvin is being too complacent with their situation now. “Wow, so you chose to believe the girl you've just dated than the girl you grew up with!” he said in disbelief. “Look, if you're doing this to get her attention, then you won.” Calvin said bitterly, glaring at Danson. “You already took my place in her life, happy now?” he continued. Then, he turned his back on Danson.
“Is this what it's all about?” Calvin heard Danson said. “Are you jealous because I'm getting closer to Kit? Too close that I am taking over your place?” he asked. Calvin looked back at him again. “This is what you want. You got my ex-best friend all for yourself. Don't blame me as if I'm the bad guy here...” he said. “I am not saying you are the bad guy here, Cal. All I'm asking is for you not to be mad at her anymore, Hear her out. She's got something to say to you!” Calvin shook his head. “I don't want to hear whatever it is that she have to say.”
--
Joy was passing by the soccer field, when she saw Kit sitting by the bleacher. She didn't know why, but she had this urge to go and talk to her. She have heard the rumor about her and Trixie having at the fight outside the cafe, and Calvin being mad at her because of what happened. She have spoken to Calvin previously about what happened, and she wanted to hear her side of the story. “Kit...” she called. Kit looked up at her and gave her a faint smile. “Hey...” she said in a low voice. Joy smiled back at her. “Mind if I sit beside you?” she asked. Kit nodded her head.
Joy sat beside her, observing her. She was awfully quiet today. She was not the jolly Kit that she used to know, and she have observed this have happened since Calvin dated Trixie. “I heard what happened...” she said. “Then, I guess you already know Cal's mad at me...”
“We already talked. He told me what happened...”
“And you believe him... I would understand...”
Joy paused and looked at her. “But I still want to hear your side...” she said. Kit shook her head. “I don't want to talk about it anymore...” she said. “I don't care anymore what other people think about me. Did you see how they looked at me, as if I'm the villain in this story? I don't anymore. I don't need anyone's pity or blaming at this moment.” she continued. Then, Joy held her right hand, but kit flinched. “Ouch!” she exclaimed. “I'm sorry, I didn't know...” Joy said apologetically. She looked at her wrist and saw that it's swollen. Kit looked at her, and smiled. “It's OK. I think I sprained it while having a cat fight with her. Please don't let Danson or Hannah know about this...” she said. Joy nodded her head. “But... have you talked to Calvin?” she asked again. Kit shook her head. “He doesn't want to see me anymore. Guess, it was really unforgivable...” she said. Then, Kit looked away from her, staring the the other side of the field. “I didn't start the whole thing. I did my best to befriend Trixie, but she just can't like me. She asked me to leave Calvin alone, but I can't do that...” Joy was surprised at what she said. “Trixie said that?” she asked. Kit nodded her head. “But it's no use now even if I tell him that. He's mad at me. He only listens to what Trixie says. He doesn't trust me anymore...” she said sadly.
Joy held her hand and squeezed it. “I believe you...” she said to her. Kit looked up at him, confused at what she said. “You may not have told me everything, but I already believe you. I know you're not the type of girl who would start a fight.” she said. “Thank you, Joy... you never know how much this means to me...” she said. Then, Joy stood up and pulled her up on her left hand. “Come on, let's go find Calvin. I know he'll listen to you when I'm around.”
--
Thank you for being tender
The candlelight that enlightens the smile
Only warms but doesn't disturb my cold winter
Haven't decided where to go
That's why I can't let you accompany me
Scared that you'll be like me
--
Joy pulled Kit as they saw Calvin walking through the school hall. “Calvin!” Joy called. Calvin looked back and saw Joy. He smiled at her, but his smile faded away upon seeing Kit. “OK, what is this...” he said. He walked towards them, glaring at Kit. “First, you used Danson. Now, you're using Joy. I can't believe you!” he said to her. Joy looked at him with disbelief. “Wait! She's not using me. I told her that -” Joy tired to say. Before she could continue, he glared at her. “Don't tell me you fell for her lies as well?” he asked. Joy could feel her blood rushing up to her head. “Can't you hear her, for once, Calvin Chen!” she shouted at her. Calvin looked at Kit, then he gripped her right hand and pulled her.joy panicked, and tried to take Kit's hand away from Calvin's grip. “Stop it, Cal! You're hurting her.” Joy said. “Aww...Calvin! Let me go!” Kit shouted in pain. Calvin glared at her again. “Look, Kit. You gave me the reason to be mad at you. I tell you, don't lie to these people anymore. If you want to talk to me, apologize to Trixie first, then maybe I can reconsider...” he said. He could see the tears falling from her eyes, but that didn't stop him from further hurting her. “And your tears doesn't move me anymore, Kit. Not anymore..”
Meanwhile, Jiro saw everything, He immediately rushed to them, afraid that Calvin would hurt his girlfriend physically. As soon as he reached them, he pushed Calvin away from the girls, making Calvin let go of Kit's hand. “You don't hurt girls that way, Calvin Chen...” he said furiously. “Not especially with your best friend...” Calvin let out a laugh, and glared at Jiro. “Don't tell me you're siding with Kit as well.” he said to them. “After what I've seen, well yes. I am siding with her.” Jiro said. Calvin nodded his head. “Fine. I don't want to argue with you guys anymore...” he said. Jiro watched as Calvin turn his back on his best friend. “Bastard!” he muttered. Then, he looked at Joy who was cradling Kit on her arms. Kit was crying nonstop. “Hon, are you OK? Did he hurt you?” he asked worriedly. Joy smiled and shook her head. “I'm OK, Jiro... but Kit... her hand...” she said. She took Kit's right hand and saw that it was very swollen Jiro touched it, but Kit flinched, crying in pain. Then, he looked up at Joy. “I think we should send Kit to the clinic.”
Calvin heard what Jiro said. He paused. The anger in his eyes was replaced with worry. He looked back at them, and saw Kit crying because of pain. Jiro held her arm, and as he walked closer, he saw Kit's swollen wrist. “Kit?” he called worriedly. Jiro looked up at him and gave him dagger look. “Stay away from her. She doesn't need you anymore.” he said. Calvin watched as the three left. He felt guilty for hurting Kit. He didn't want to be the reason why she's hurt, but he already is the reason why she is in pain.
--
Danson and Hannah rished to the clinic as soon as they received Joy's message. “Where's Kit?” Danson asked Joy worriedly as soon as he met her. “She's inside. The nurse is putting a bandage on her hand.” she explained. Danson nodded his head and then hurried inside, leaving Hannah and Joy alone. “What happened?” Hannah asked Joy. Joy sighed at her. “It was my fault...” she said. “I told Kit she would be able to talk to him with me around, but Calvin just got angry at her.” she explained. “But her hand?”
“I think she sprained it while she and Trixie had a fight. It was really swollen, and it got worsen when Calvin gripped her tight.”
Hannah shook her head in disappointment with Calvin. “It wasn't Kit's fault... Trixie started the fight. She provoked Kit, and Kit just defended herself...” she told Joy. Joy smiled, as expected, it wasn't Kit's fault after all. But still, she's mad at Calvin for not listening to Kit's explanation and for hurting her. Then, she looked up and saw Calvin walking towards them. She saw the worried look on his face, but she remained unmoved by it. “How... how's Kit?” he asked. Hannah and Joy looked at each other and faced him. “She's still alive, thank God.” Joy said sarcastically. Then, she looked back at Hannah. “Let's go inside. Let' check on Kit.” she told her. She pulled Hannah inside the clinic
--
“I'll drive you home, OK?” Danson told Kit as soon as they got out of the clinic. Joy, Hannah and Jiro followed them behind. “Can we go and eat somewhere first? I'm hungy...” Jiro said. Kit nodded in agreement. “I'm hungry too.” she said, then she gave Danson puppy eyes. “Can you treat me for some snacks, Danson?” she asked. Danson just smiled at her. “Of course I'll treat you out, OK?” he said. Kit nodded her head.
As they were about to leave, they heard someone call Kit.. “Kit...” All them looked back and saw Calvin walking towards them. Danson put his arm around Kit, protecting her from him. “Let's go...” he said. He pulled her away, but Kit paused. Danson gave him a confused look as she put away his arms. “You guys go ahead. I'll talk to him first.” she said. Danson gave her another worried look. “But...” Kit just smiled at him. “I'll be OK.” she said. “No... we're staying.” Jiro said to Kit. Joy, on the other hand, was glaring at Calvin. “Whatever it is that he have to say, he can say it in front of us. After all, we're your 'real' friends” Joy said.
Kit walked towards Calvin and looked into his eyes. “Look, Kit. This would have not happened if you apologize to Trixie. She's not doing anything bad to you.” he said. Kit smirked at him, shaking her head in disbelief. “And I thought you were here to say 'I'm sorry for hurting you' or to say 'Kit, are you OK?'. I never thought you're here to convince me to apologize to Trixie.” she said sarcastically. “Let's just get over these things, Kit. Just do it. You're my best friend and-”
“That's the point, Calvin. I am your best friend. And as you're best friend, I thought you trust me. I thought you believe me. I thought you would listen to what I've got to say!”
Calvin is starting to get mad at her again. He was worried, yes, but it seems that him being worried about Kit is useless. “Look, Kit. You started it. Then, you have to end it. All I'm asking you is to accept that Trixie is now my girlfriend, and be happy for me.” he shouted at her. Kit shook her head in anger. “That's it...” she muttered. “This is still all about Trixie, huh?”
“This wouldn't have happened if you didn't threaten Trixie.”
“I said I didn't do it.”
“Do you now how nice she is? Do you even know she is the best thing that ever happened to me? Why are you trying to break up apart? Why can't you give her a chance?”
“Why can't you listen to me for once?”
“Listen to what? Your lies? I know what you're capable of doing, Kit. I know you very well. I know how you could hurt the people you hate. I know how -”
Then, Kit slapped him. Calvin rubbed his cheek, then looked at her with disbelief. “That's the thing. You know me very well, or so you thought...” she said in a low voice. Her eyes were filled with tears once again. “Why are you so blind Calvin? You don't even know the real story... and yet you chose to believe her... it hurts, you know. You're constantly hurting me, and I can't take it anymore.” she continued. Then, she wiped the tears on her eyes and looked at him again. “No one can hurt me without my permission, not even you.” she said. Then, she turned her back on Calvin, wiping the remaining tears in her eyes. “This will be the last time I'll cry because of you...” she said to herself. She smiled to her friends, and walked towards them. Together, they left Calvin alone.
--
I will plant you inside my heart
Maybe one day a dream will finally grow within
--
“So that's why you didn't brought your car with you...” Danson said as they walked towards Kit's house. Kit nodded her head. “And that's why you were not taking notes a while ago?” he asked again. Kit smiled and nodded her head again. “Then, why aren't telling me that you sprained your wrist?” Danson asked worriedly. Kit just laughed at him. “See... that's the reason why I didn't tell you. You get easily worried.” she said. Danson smiled at her. “What you did a while ago... it was brave...” he said. Kit paused, then looked up at him again. “I just have to tell Calvin off, before I burst in anger.” she said. “Seems to me that he have already burst your bubble...” he said. Then, he held her hand, and looked into her eyes. “I really wonder why you're always good at making me feel better, Danson...” she asked him. “I told you before, I don't want to see you sad.” he said. Then, Kit reached up to him, kissed him on the cheek, and hugged him. “Thanks, Danson...” she whispered to him. “You have always been there for me, believing in me, listening to me. Thank you for standing up for me. Thank you for making me smile despite the fact that there is no reason to smile at all...”
Danson looked at her and smiled. He felt he was blushing because of her kiss. Kit blushed as well. She could feel that Danson liked her, and sees her more than a friend, but she could not accept his love, only his friendship. Someone else already owns her heart. She felt bad about it, for she didn't want to keep Danson thinking that he would have a chance with her, she can only love Danson as a friend. “Kit, I -” before Danson could continue, she place her finger on his lips and smiled at him. “Don't say anything, Danson. Let's not ruin this perfect moment...” she said in a low voice. Danson nodded his head. Kit reached up for him again, and hugged him again. Maybe with that hug, she could let Danson know how much she appreciate all the things he have done for her these past few days. “I love you...” Danson wanted to say to her. “I love you too much, Kit... but why do I feel that you won't give me a chance? Do you love someone else? Someone you're not suppose to fall in love with? Why don't you give your heart to me? I can take care of you... I can give you all the love you need...” he wanted to say. He hugged her tight, wanting not to let her go. Maybe, with this, he could let her feel how much he loves her.
--
“I wish I could love you the way you love me, Danson... I just wish I could...”
--
Don't know, don't understand, don't want
Why my heart?
Actually wanted to get closer
But stayed alone until dawn
Don't know, don't understand, don't want
Why my heart?
The beautiful nature of love
Is always located in loneliness
Once again, all the best of my love, I give to you
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