You woke up from an angry sleep. Who knew sleeps could be so relaxing? You felt better but the irritation and stress still came back to you as you slowly regained consciousness.

There was so many things that stressed you out. It was May. Finals and test and quizzes and blah. You just wanted to get it over with. Not to mention friend drama and relationship drama. Lunches and meet ups outside were tension filled. People looked at you and looked away. Could you just return to the past when you and Lay were just friends?

The birds outside chirped happily. You envied them very much. Even animals outside your window could be 100 times happier than you. Why is being human so hard? Why are things so hard now? All you wanted to do was lie in bed and think of anything but people…including Lay.

What worried you the most wasn’t your family, wasn’t your friends, wasn’t your school, wasn’t your relationship, wasn’t you physically, it was your constant worrying that drove you mad. Like, what kind of disorder do you have to keep worry like that?

Everything should be fine, right? Your family will eventually find a peaceful, loving ground. Your friends will eventually reconcile and forgive each other because that’s what is healthy for friendships… Your relationship with Lay will run smoothly so stop worrying, and all you need to do is eat small healthy meals a day to achieve a beautiful figure. You’ve got it all planned out!

But there’s just that emotional stress that you’ve been putting yourself on. One that you can’t get rid of even if you reassure yourself a billion times. So what if you go astray a bit? What if you don’t end of being super rich, super famous, super talented, super gorgeous. Isn’t the main point to have fun in life? To live every moment to the fullest? Shouldn’t you spend your precious time on earth trying to find happiness instead of trying to chase happiness by being worried all the time?

Well sometimes you forget the most important things in life when you are preoccupied. Of course it is important to do well on tests and please people and make friends…but have you ever wondered a little bit more than that? What is the whole point of doing well on tests? Just to do well in tests? What is the point? Is there even a point? You didn’t know right then, at that moment. All you knew that you were alone, laying on your bed, thinking to yourself after a long afternoon nap.

Not wanting to do anything that evening, you decided to turn off the small light in the room so that the room was dark except for the light of the fading sunset. You wondered what Lay was doing at that exact moment but then brushed that thought away, as you did not want to think about anyone else before you got your own matters settled.

Every since you arrived in Korea you worked hard to fit in and please everyone. It was hard to fit in. You had you try to be social. You had to try to be likable. You had to try to be NOT weird…which by the way, is very hard for you. . . you aren’t exactly even close to being “normal.” You could probably be the opposite of it. At school you were the try-hard girl. You had to try very hard in order to get through school while others could just slide and guess and talk through the day very comfortably. It didn’t help that the school was so hot and humid and that Yuri’s house was also soo soo soo very hot and humid. It didn’t help one bit.

Sleep started to take over you again. The hot and humid weather made you oho so very sleepy. You decided to get something cold to eat from the refrigerator to cool you down but sleep dominated you. *Maybe this is for the better…I will be in a better mood after I take a vacation in my sleep.*