Hiding.. No More

Christmas Eve is indeed the most special celebrated season of the year. The time wherein every family is with their loved ones having a great time. As expected, mom cooked special dishes for later's dinner. I offered to help her out as soon as I got home from Aunt GaEul's house but she refused when she found out about the cuts on my feet. Few hours before our special dinner, Bom unnie arrived together with TOP oppa. They were carrying lots of gifts and food with them. I was so happy to see my unnie again especially with this very special occassion. We were preparing the table when the doorbell rang, Bom unnie opened it up and it was Aunt GaEul and Minho. We all greeted them and mom instantly walked towards Aunt GaEul and the two of them hugged tightly.

"GaEul! It's good to see you again. Im glad you came back to celebrate Christmas here. I missed you so much," mom said.

"I missed you too Soojin! Here, I baked a triple chocolate cake for all of us. Uhm, Minho dear kindly put this at the table," she replied giving the box of cake to Minho whose just standing silently beside her Aunt.

"I know the two of you have a lot of stories to tell each other but you must save it later, for now, let's start to raid all this special food at the table before it gets cold." That was dad teasing mom and her bestfriend.

So we all went to the dining area to start our dinner. Everyone of us were chatting, Bom unnie shared her recent school activities, she said it's getting more difficult now that they were about to graduate in few months time, while Aunt GaEul on the other hand was sharing her experiences being a volunteer worker at the Unicef.

"Are you staying here now for good GaEul?" dad asked. "I would love to stay but I just couldnt. I'll be waiting for Minho's graduation and after it I'll go back there with him," she casually said.

The last part of what she told us made me stop from chewing the food inside my mouth. I slowly turned my glance from my plate to Minho's direction at the table. I felt a bit awkward when my eyes met his, he was also looking at me when her aunt were informing us about their plan after the graduation. I turned back my glare on my plate and tried to look as if I was not affected by it. After our sumptuous dinner, we gather around the christmas tree and began to do our traditional exchange gifts. I got an Ipad from mom and dad, a jacket from TOP oppa, a bag from Bom unnie, and a jar of special cookies from Aunt GaEul. I was so happy receiving all of those. At exactly twelve midnight, we greeted each other a very Merry Christmas.

"Who want's wine?" dad blurted out while shaking a bottle of it with his right hand. "We all liked it! Well, except for Chemi of course," mom answered laughing. To my surprised, Aunt GaEul said "Chemi dear, you and Minho could go to my house and have a cup of tea there instead. Go burn some woods at the fire place to keep you warm. Would that be okay with you Soojin?" she turned to mom asking her permission. "Of course. That would be nice. Go ahead Ttal, I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy a chat with Minho than listening here with the stories of your folks," mom replied while smiling at me.

So, Minho and I went to Aunt GaEul's place as we have told to do so. As we enter the house, Minho immediately headed to the fireplace and took time to lit up the pile of woods inside of it. I was trembling inside while watching him, I didn't know where it was coming from. Maybe because of the freezing temperature outside or maybe the nervousness I was feeling at that moment. The idea of being with him alone at that place were giving me chills and dozens of butterflies at my tummy. In couple of minutes, the pile of wood started to fire up, he turned back to look at me and said "Come closer here so you would feel a little warmer." I was a bit hesitant but I didn't want to freeze to death also, so I moved closer to the fire place, and it's true I felt better.

For a minute, there was a total silence between us. We were just both staring at the fire, then he spoke "Merry Christmas Chemi.." and as he greeted me, he then gave me a small box wrapped with sparkling gold cloth. "Uhm.. Merry Christmas too. What's this?" I asked looking at the box he was holding. "Open it to find out," he answered looking so serious. I took it and slowly unwrapped infront of him. It was a necklace with a music note pendant. It was so beautiful that I actually caught up my breath upon seeing it. "Wow.. this is so pretty. Gomawo.. Thank you so much. I.. I really loved it," I told him. "A pretty gift for a pretty girl. I'm happy you like it. Would you like me to wear it to you?" he asked looking deeply into my eyes. "Uhm.. yeah sure. Thanks." I answered, my voice began to shake. He held the necklace, moved at my back then put it around my neck. I could tell that his face was so close at the back of my neck cause his breath was actually gently blowing on my skin, it gave me goosebumps.

After he locked it in, he moved back in front of me the smiled. "It's perfect with you," he said. I touched the pendant and just smiled at him. I suddenly remembered what Aunt GaEul told us a while ago over dinner, I wanna know the truth from him, so I asked. "Is it true? You will be leaving the country after you graduated? Are you joining Aunt GaEul with her charity works? How long will you be gone?" He chuckled. "Now, that's a lot of questions. Uhm.. I.. decided to pursue my college degree at Australia. That would be four to five years, and if an opportunity opens there for me, I might stay there for good," he replied without looking at me. I was so shocked with it, I felt something squeezed my heart, that I had troubled breathing in. "Huh?.. Is that really your plan long before we even meet?" I impulsively said. I know I should not asked him like that but I was dying to know what's inside his mind. "Actually.. no. I made that decision just recently, just last month. I think that it would be the best thing to do," he answered. I began to be confuse. "What do you mean the best? There are many universities here that are giving a degree in music related courses. Why would you have to go to Australia? Why would you have to leave?" I continuously asked him while trying my very best to hold back the tears that was about to pour.

"Something happened in my heart, something unexpected," he softly said, almost like a whisper. After hearing it, my heart beagan to pound so fast. I couldn't explain what I was feeling at that time. Then he continued, "I usually admire people who have interest in music, especially the young ones, that's why when Aunt GaEul told me about this lonely young girl who has a passion for composing music, I told myself that we would be getting along well. As expected, it really happened, I have found a new friend in you. Then, surprisingly, I began to feel something different for you. I tried to ignore it because I don't wanna ruin the friendship we have, and besides.. you are so young for me, five years gap. People around us might take it the wrong way and your family may hated me for that, they trust me so well. To make things worst for me, I asked you to bridge me up to your unnie, thinking that by doing that, my feelings for you would just fade away, but then again.. I was wrong. after what happened at BlueFire, I left this place with a heavy and broken heart. I told myself, I'll forget anything about what happened during my spring break vacation. I really thought that there would be no way that we could see each other again, but I guess fate has it's own reasons of letting things happen, so I saw you again at SM High School. I was so happy and really shocked that day, seeing you being humiliated by Krystal. I really didn't have any idea that you and Taemin are in a relationship that time until Onew told me so during the preparation for the concert. Believe me, I was dying inside everytime I'm seeing you with Taemin, but I just have to accept it. Remember the song that I have sung that time, and my message to the composer of that song? I truly meant every word that I said. Then something went wrong between the two of you, I thought I could have you back, but Taemin told me how much he loves you, and I have made a promise to him that I would not intervene in your relationship, that I would finally let go of my feelings for you, and that's the main reason why I decided to just walked away and perhaps.. never come back again."

I was staring at him the whole time he was talking. A moment of silence filled in the whole place. I didn't know what to think and how to react with his confession. Should I be happy finding out that he also feels the same way to me all this time? But why is it my heart was feeling heavy and sad?.. The tears that I was holding back a while ago, began to drop. I couldn't control my emotions anymore, and so I cried. Covering my face with my both palm, I cried infront of Minho. Suddenly, I felt his chest pasted on my back and his arms wrapped around me, he was at my back hugging me so tight. "I'm sorry Chemi.. I should have told you all of this before.. while I still had the chance. It's too late now but I am somehow happy because I feel free right now, I'll never have to hide what's inside this heart of mine. Mianhaeyo.. I was so coward, I let you slipped in my life," he whispered in my ears, then he told me something that I never imagined I would hear from him. "Chemi.. my dongsaeng.. ssaranghabneda."