Jaejoong refused to look at Yunho the entire way home. He never said two words to him, after he came and collected him from Changmin's room. Judging by Changmin's look, when they were leaving, his brother was going to question him, the next time they met up. He wondered what had Changmin so intrigued. But at the same time, he felt that it probably wouldn't work out well, for him, when he found out.

He couldn't say as he was surprised. His clothes were ruffled. He probably reeked of sweat and . Hiyeon may even have left some makeup on his skin, in the process. He couldn't be sure. But he did know that he looked a mess. It wouldn't have taken much to figure out that he'd had .

Considering the fact that he'd been forced to chase after Mrs Park, and the only other woman there had been his mother, it wouldn't have taken much to realise it had been with her.

He knew Jaejoong knew. There was no way that he couldn't; Jaejoong wasn't stupid.

He considered the prospect that Jaejoong was so unhappy about the whole thing that he might not speak to him again for the rest of the evening. He supposed all things considered, that was only to be expected given the circumstances. He was a little more frightened at the prospect that Jaejoong wouldn't talk to him tomorrow. Or the day after that.

He could see from Jaejoong's face that he'd been crying. He knew it must've been Changmin that had been there to comfort him. He was grateful that his brother had taken care of the older boy, like he'd asked. But he couldn't help his misery at the thought that it had been Changmin that had comforted him and not himself. But then again, it was almost definitely his fault that Jaejoong was upset, so he probably wouldn't even want comfort from Yunho in the first place.

He'd tried to be as accepting of this as possible. He just had to accept the consequences of his actions, even if they were under duress. That's why he was so surprised when Jaejoong stormed into his bedroom, when they returned home.

“Explain your relationship to Mrs Park.” he stated simply. His tone was both hard and cold. He either really didn't want to hear, or he was putting a lot of effort into convincing Yunho that he wasn't affected by this. Although that image was ruined by the fact that he stormed into Yunho's bedroom in the middle of the night, to ask him this question; the only words he'd spoken to him in at least an hour.

“I'm not sure—” Yunho began, but Jaejoong only crossed his arms, speaking over the top of him, in a tone that broached no argument. “You will explain your relationship to Mrs Park, or you will explain why you stopped being my friend. I don't care which, but you will give me answers. Now.”

Yunho sighed, knowing that he had to give Jaejoong an answer now. Everything in his posture; in his look told him that if he refused, Jaejoong would walk out that door and never come back. As much as he told himself he couldn't have Jaejoong; that he was unworthy of him, he couldn't allow him to leave. He needed him.

He loved him.

He sighed, pondering his two options. To reveal why he left Jaejoong would essentially require him to explain about Mrs Park and also for him to add in other details such as his love for the older man, which he would prefer to keep to himself. To reveal his relationship with Mrs Park, would mean exposing himself to the possibility of Jaejoong being disgusted by him; hating him and then leaving him. Neither one seemed particularly appealing; but he knew which one had to be kept secret more.

“Okay. I'll explain my relationship to Mrs Park.” Yunho answered, throat constricting as he finished his sentence. Jaejoong didn't say anything, merely standing and waiting to hear what Yunho had to say. Every time he tried to swallow, it felt like it got stuck, around a massive lump in his throat. Why did this have to be so difficult?

And why did Jaejoong have to keep looking at him like that? He felt like the other boy didn't care about him anymore. He could see only the briefest traces of affection in his gaze. What had happened while he'd been gone?

With the look Jaejoong was giving him, Yunho knew that there was a real chance that Jaejoong would leave him if he couldn't tell him something. Despite that imminent threat, making his heart race, it did nothing to ease the passage of words from his lips. He wanted to speak so badly, and yet his wishes never translated into so much as a twitch of his lips.

He could see Jaejoong's disappointment rising, the longer he stayed in silence, and yet, no matter how much he tried to force the words out of his mouth, nothing changed. Silence prevailed. Jaejoong gave Yunho a hurt look as he sighed, trying to walk out of the room, and presumably out of Yunho's life as well. “No.” he gasped, the first words, he'd been able to say since he agreed to explain. His hand shot out, fruitlessly searching for Jaejoong's, but the older boy was too far away from him to be reached.

Jaejoong looked at him, and for a moment he saw a wealth of pain hidden in his eyes. Jaejoong was suffering, because of his silence. He was being selfish. He loved this man; surely he deserved to get anything he desired, that Yunho could provide. Why did a simple explanation have to be so difficult to give him?

Jaejoong was tired of his silence. He was tired of being given no explanations. Each thing that Yunho refused to tell him, only made him assume. And those assumptions hurt. No wonder he was demanding an explanation from him. The fact that he gave him a choice in the matter said a great deal about Jaejoong. He was only treating this as a means of venting his anguish, so that it wouldn't get out of hand. He was saying he could live with the uncertainty of some secrecy on Yunho's part, but that he had too many secrets.

The heart wrenching look he was receiving brought tears rushing to his eyes, but Yunho refused to shed them. “I... she...” he began, helplessly, flailing as he scrambled to find the words to make Jaejoong stay. Unfortunately the haste of his words, meant his brain was always two steps behind his mouth. He could never formulate the right words, but the need to make some noise; any noise seemed so overwhelming at that moment he wouldn't think about it.

“It's not what you think...” Yunho began uncertainly, only realising as he said those words that he had no idea what Jaejoong was actually thinking about his relationship with Mrs Park. Jaejoong seemed to know this too, and he caught the briefest surge of bemusement lighting his features, before he suppressed it. He was trying so hard to keep Yunho out, and that more than anything the other could have said, spoke volumes about how much he needed to hear this.

“I... She's... Been blackmailing me....” Yunho broke, uncertain what other way he could express what had been going on as quickly as possible, but clearly still feeling this statement removed too many details of what was going on. Jaejoong's eyes clouded in confusion, then in thought. He seemed unsettled by the comment, but Yunho found that unsurprising. “What with? For what purpose? For how long?” he gasped.

“My brother. To extort ual favours from me. For several years.” Yunho answered succinctly. He could almost see the impact of each answer, as they struck the other boy. Jaejoong's shock overwhelmed him, and he collapsed thoughtlessly onto Yunho's bed. He clutched the side of the mattress, as though it's solid mass beneath his fingertips could provide him with some amount of reassurance.

“I just... I need you to understand... I don't... I don't love her... I don't even care about her... But I do care about you, Jae... I know all this has hurt you... I'm so sorry that you got involved enough to be hurt by it... Just... know it won't be for much longer.... I promise...You won't have to worry about me sneaking out, or abandoning you at some public venue soon... It's... everything is going to be okay...” Yunho breathed, knowing how strongly he meant his words, but still wondering if he were in the position to make such promises. Or if Jaejoong had caught on to how much he left unsaid.

Jaejoong nodded, but his gaze was distracted. It flicked from left to right, as he processed everything he was being told. He chewed his thumb, his eyes flickering like that for several moments. “I... I'm going...sleep...bed now...” he mumbled, padding out to his room, footsteps harried.

At least Jaejoong would still be there in the morning.

- -

Jaejoong had considered what Yunho had said the previous evening. It had been all he could think about for hours. He hadn't been able to sleep, and so he'd slept in late to make up for it. His thoughts circled round and round, trying to piece everything together.

Yunho had been so adamant that he'd cared for Jaejoong. But then why had he left him?

Had it been related to this blackmail thing? He had said she'd been doing it for several years, but perhaps that was just coincidence.

Then he'd think about that blackmail. He'd said she was blackmailing him with his brother. But how could that be? She didn't own Changmin, did she? Didn't he live with their parents? His parents might have been horrid, but they wouldn't seriously let Mrs Park hurt Changmin, would they? What had she threatened to do to him?

He said that he had no feelings for her. That the only reason he did anything with her at all, was because she was blackmailing him. But if that was the case, what made him so sure it'd be ending soon? Was that why Yunho had insisted they keep up their pretend relationship? But if that was the case then why did he say it was because he was waiting for Changmin to move out of his parents home? If she'd been doing it for so many years already, what made him think she was going to stop now? What made him think that he'd be able to get Changmin away from all that?

If their relationship was so useful to him, could he really have done it as an accident, or could he have orchestrated things this way, somehow?

But he said he cares about Jaejoong. Jaejoong. Not Mrs Park. So why would he do that?

Everything was so frustrating.