A/N: Long chapter everyone to celebrate the fact that we're starting the countdown. That's right, there will be a grand total of 51 chapters to this story, so we're nearing the end already. Does it feel too soon to anyone else? Aigoo, I'll be so disappointed when this is over, Your comments have brightened up my days. Promise we'll be friends after it's over, ne? Long chapter to celebrate!

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Jaejoong sighed as he exited the bathroom, feeling like he was walking into a dragon's den or something. Why Yunho's family insisted on having such a large home, he would never understand. He guessed it served as some sort of status symbol or something, because it was obviously far bigger than the family required.

He wasn't quite sure how to get back to the dining room. He knew he was upstairs when he shouldn't be, but he couldn't see a staircase from here. He started walking, overhearing muffled voices as he passed by a room.

There were only four people in the house this evening. He knew he sure as hell wasn't in the room, which meant that the chances were high, Yunho might be one of the voices, and when he overheard one of those voices saying, “I'm pregnant.” he knew he couldn't leave until he got some sort of explanation.

The voice that answered definitely belonged to Yunho, and he just knew that other voice had to be Mrs Park. That realisation stung, and he felt tears b, as he covered his mouth to mask his own gasping for air. He couldn't let them overhear him.

That would explain so much.

Yunho's mother was interested in Yunho, and ignoring Changmin, because she was angry with him. Because she was annoyed that he hadn't started going out with Seohyun. He'd known for ages that she'd wanted Yunho to date the girl, and had heard Yunho complain at how often she'd start listing of the girl's good points to him, in the hopes he'd change his mind. All things considered, he supposed it wasn't that much of a shock that she couldn't let go of the idea of the two of them getting together and living happily ever after, even after Yunho told her he had a boyfriend. Though he had expected her to have better manners than to mention anything to do with that when said boyfriend came round for dinner.

But Mrs Park. She had ignored Changmin, and tried to defend Yunho because she was in love with him. Because they were secretly seeing one another. They must have wanted to avoid the stigma attached to their relationship. She was at least 20 years older than Yunho. She was a friend of his mother. He could certainly see why they'd want to keep their relationship a secret.

That would explain why she had been at the club. Yunho must have told her, about his plan so that they could rendezvous. He'd just been the cover, so it wouldn't look suspicious. Yunho got him to agree to a fake relationship, and then secretly snuck out to meet his real girlfriend.

She must have been the one to give Yunho those marks. Which means that Yunho and she must have...

Yunho had lied to him? He'd used him? It just seemed so incomprehensible, and yet it all seemed to make perfect sense.

No wonder she'd looked so pleased when they'd mentioned the fact that Jaejoong had scared off that Seohyun girl. She'd been following after Yunho for years. Mrs Park must've felt intimidated at such a young girl trying to garner Yunho's affections. She must've felt inferior in the face of her youth. But she'd been unable to say anything without exposing them. So Yunho and his little lie about having a relationship provided the perfect cover. It deflected Seohyun's anger in Jaejoong's direction, except Jaejoong could hold his own in such a battle, them both being about the same age. Jaejoong had won, and Seohyun had backed off.

He'd helped Mrs Park and Yunho be together. He'd helped make their relationship stronger.

The thought brought a rush of bubbling, stinging heat up his throat. He felt like he was going to be sick. Still he only pressed his hands closer against this mouth and nose. The nauseous feeling, seemed to urge his tears on, and they in turn only made him feel worse. By now his nose was running, and his cheeks and fingers were soaked in his tears, but still he dared not make a noise.

He'd long since given up on trying to listen to their conversation, having missed too much as his pain, collapsed over him in waves. But he still couldn't move, that same pain also seemed to paralyse him. He couldn't leave, and so although he'd stopped listening, he still had to make sure he wasn't discovered.

When he felt a hand patting his shoulder, he'd bit his teeth into his fleshy palm to keep from whimpering. The other person did not leave, but bent down beside him. He heard Changmin's familiar, hushed tones beside him urging him to get up, but he could only shake his head, it taking everything he had not to start screaming.

Changmin sighed, knowing they couldn't stay crouched in the middle of the hallway. It would only be a matter of time before they were discovered. With no other options open to him, he hoisted Jaejoong up, half carrying, half dragging him further down the hall.

He closed the door behind them, certain they wouldn't be disturbed in his room. He guided Jaejoong over towards his bed, seating himself beside the distraught older male, and awkwardly trying to console him.

He wasn't used to this. He knew he was supposed to console Jaejoong, under his brother's orders, and he mentally cursed at his brother for ordering him to do so, when he was the cause of Jaejoong's pain. He had to pause at that. He knew it wasn't a fair comment to make. He wasn't a cruel person, and he had already decided that he approved of Jaejoong. He really hoped the two of them were going to become friends, having felt a comfortable happiness descend upon himself in the older boy's company. He would have helped him either way. But he had to wonder if this had happened every other time he'd left Jaejoong.

How long had Jaejoong been crying like this, with no one there to console him, as a result of his brother? As a result of him?

It was probably more than a little late in coming, but he knew he had to give Jaejoong some of those answers that his brother had denied him. Probably out of the shame he felt about everything that had happened. As much as he adored his brother, surely he should be prepared to endure a little shame, in order to stem the flow of Jaejoong's heartbroken tears if he really did love him?

“I... I'm not very good at this...” Changmin began doubtfully, unsure how to approach the clearly distraught boy beside him, given their relatively short friendship. He'd never seen the other boy like this, though he doubted many people would have either. “Please don't be mad, if I don't do this right.” he begged, afraid that what he was about to say might only succeed at making things worse, before he could fix them. Or worse, that Jaejoong wouldn't listen to him at all.

The older boy tried to give Changmin a reassuring smile, but his tears continued to fall, marring the look. “I won't … I promise... I'm just grateful.... that I have a f-friend here with me..” he blubbered, finding the formation of words required a lot more air than usual, because of his tears.

Changmin gave the older man an intrigued look, bemused enough by his comment for the moment, that he allowed himself to get side-tracked from his intended question. “You consider me a friend?” he enquired, disbelievingly. Jaejoong gave the younger man a shy smile, that probably would have looked very pretty, if his face weren't so red. “Yeah... Cause you are... Aren't you? I mean I know we haven't known each other for very long, and that you're probably only doing this because Y-Y-Yunho asked you to, but—”

“Not true.” Changmin interjected, “How could I leave anyone alone when they're so upset?” allowing a momentary silence, to show that his question was intended to be rhetorical. “Besides, we used to be friends when we were younger. Before you stopped coming around. I thought we were friends back then too.” He stated, wondering if Jaejoong had forgotten him.

Jaejoong shook his head, “No I remember back then. I thought you were a friend then too. But it's been a long time. People change. I've changed over that time. No doubt you have too. Because of these changes, we haven't known each other, as the adults that we've become, for very long.” he stated quietly, the tears slowing but never ceasing.

“Why are you crying?” Changmin asked, hesitant to bring it up, now that Jaejoong's tears were seemingly subsiding, but needing to know all the same. He wouldn't be protecting him; looking after him, if he allowed the matter to be let go. Whatever had stirred his tears would fester away inside him, and then no one would be able to help him.

Jaejoong sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest, seemingly wishing to make himself disappear. Changmin wasn't sure that he would get an answer out of Jaejoong. He'd probably answer Yunho in a heartbeat, were he to ask the same question. But he wasn't; it was Changmin that was asking. The little brother Jaejoong barely knew. “I... I may have overheard... s-something...” Jaejoong stated, trying to be casual, but clearly very moved all the same, judging by the fresh tears that thickly coated his cheeks.

Changmin had been afraid that had been what had happened.

He mentally cursed his brother for leaving him in this predicament. Yunho told him to look after Jaejoong. But then he ends up being the one hurting Jaejoong, and he expects Changmin to clean everything up for him. Worse, how was he going to explain this away? What could he possibly say to Jaejoong that would make everything okay again?

“I take it you mean Mrs Park and my brother?” he questioned, wanting to verify that his worst nightmare had indeed come true. Jaejoong nodded, starting to find it difficult to meet Changmin's eyes, as the younger man, tried to wipe away his tears. Every time he did, fresh ones would start falling, and so all that really eventuated from that action, was that Changmin's hands got so wet, that he only spread the tears around as he attempted to wipe them away. “What did they say?” he cooed, gently.

Jaejoong bit his lip, whether that was because he didn't want to tell Changmin or because the words were so painful to him, the younger boy couldn't be sure. “I... didn't hear much, pretty much everything was muffled by the door... The only thing that I really caught was when she... she... Mrs..Park told Yunho that she was... p-pregnant...and that he...he was the father.” Jaejoong confessed, sobbing. Changmin's eyebrows quirked in his puzzlement at the statement. He knew his brother could be thoughtless, but he wasn't the type to be reckless. Especially with Mrs Park; he wouldn't have wanted any chance of her being able to keep her hold over him; he wouldn't have been that stupid.

“I...I know that might be what you overheard, and Mrs Park may well have said it, but, I just can't see that being true.” Changmin confessed, trying to give Jaejoong's arm a reassuring rub, as he spoke, hoping he wouldn't anger the older boy with his words.

“I dunno. I don't know anything anymore... I just...” Jaejoong gasped, struggling to keep any consistency to his words. His thoughts were racing, as he dragged that particularly recent memory forth, and all of the painful images he'd imagined to accompany it. They only served to fuel his tears, worse than earlier.

“My brother might be stupid, but he wouldn't risk getting a woman pregnant. He wouldn't.” Changmin whispered, trying to reassure the older man, his grip on Jaejoong's arm tightening slightly with the strength of his faith in his older brother's good judgement. Considering the fact that he'd been cursing that same brother's poor judgement just moments earlier, he couldn't help a flicker of doubt that perhaps his faith was unfounded. Still, that was for Yunho to confirm or deny; that was for later. What Jaejoong needed more than anything else right now, was something to believe in; he needed to trust Yunho again.

“I knew I shouldn't have trusted him like this again... I...when I moved back in with him, after Yoochun kicked me out, I told myself to be careful... Yunho left me once before; completely out of the blue.. I shouldn't trust him so easily...But he won me over, the same way he always does...God, I'm so stupid... Then he started disappearing at all hours, and he had those god awful marks all over him...and I...I knew he was seeing someone I just... I told myself it'd be fine; that everything was still okay between us... I'd be all set to confront him about his secret relationship, but then he'd give me those bright eyes, and goofy smile, and I'd buy into the whole thing all over again.... But this...” Jaejoong confessed.

Changmin couldn't even be certain that the other man was even aware he was still in the room anymore. He tentatively pushed him, wondering if his voice might scare the older man “This?”

If Jaejoong had been frightened by him speaking, he didn't show it, but he still couldn't meet his eye, instead staring off at the wall, across the room. “The pregnancy... I knew about the relationship...I'd have to be an idiot to deny that... I did... But this means... I asked him if it was a cover...he said it wasn't...can't you see? He lied to me... He was using me this whole time, so that he could keep his relationship with Mrs Park a secret from everyone...No doubt she was terrified of what your mother would think, and...I mean I don't know how I came into it...But I was a tool to hide their little tryst...He lied to me, and he used me...”

“You know, that fight I got into with Seohyun? I defended our relationship...I told her it was real... I believed we did have a relationship, even if it wasn't romantic....and all this time, they were just using me? Were they hoping I'd get Seohyun out of the picture for them? Did I actually help them further their.... Did she get pregnant all because I...I...” his stomach clenched, the sadness and the tears and the anger and disgust he felt at all that had happened, colliding. He was gasping for breath, no amount of air seemingly enough to quell the pain.

He was so worked up about the whole thing he was going to make himself sick.

Concerned, Changmin forced Jaejoong to rest his head between his knees. He was almost hyperventilating, so he tried to calm his breathing, giving him a continuous, reassuring back rub as he did so to try and make Jaejoong relax. He barely heard Jaejoong whisper, “Why does it have to hurt so much, Changmin?”

At least he'd found out what had gotten Jaejoong so worked up.

He almost felt relieved. This was something he was reasonably confident that he could reassure the other boy about; he was fairly confident that he had the answers that could solve his anxiety. He'd been so afraid that Jaejoong would have concocted something that he couldn't disprove; something he wasn't completely sure of himself.

“Because, you care about Yunho. And right now, you've just been confronted with the possibility that all you've known about him, is a lie. An idea; that Yunho was just using you all this time, and was manipulating you in order to hide his romantic relationship with Mrs Park, has been put into your mind for the very first time. Because this notion is so ground breaking; it seems so monumentally inconceivable that the possibility of it's being true, seems to blow your whole world apart.” Changmin muttered softly.

Jaejoong whimpered, in what Changmin could only guess was agreement. “I told you I thought it was unlikely that Yunho got Mrs Park pregnant. But I can say, with absolute certainty that my brother has not been using you. He cares about you; he has cared about you for as long as I can remember. Feelings like that don't just die.” he stated, regretfully adding, “But only Yunho can give you the full explanation about everything... He hasn't even told me the full story, of that I'm certain...”

“Did he tell you that he cares about me?” Jaejoong whispered, voice hushed, as though speaking too loudly would ruin everything. Changmin could hear the hope in his voice; he so desperately wanted Changmin to tell him that it was true; that Yunho had said so to him. He was relieved to find that he'd be able to give him that answer he seemed so desperate to receive. “He did.”

Jaejoong sighed, his eyes slipping closed, though Changmin couldn't see it. He breathed slowly, in and out trying to keep his emotions in check. Changmin seemed so sure that it wasn't true, and he so desperately didn't want it to be true, that he felt he had to clutch onto this, and not let it go. He so desperately needed something to believe at the moment. He couldn't bare to accept the totality of the implications of his earlier thoughts.

“My brother left you before? Is that why you disappeared?” Changmin questioned, seemingly having considered the rest of Jaejoong's little monologue, in the silence Jaejoong had been using to calm himself. “Yeah. Everything was fine, as far as I can recall... Then one day, he just stops talking to me. He wouldn't acknowledge my existence; he wouldn't speak to me, sit near me. He didn't walk to or from school with me. Nothing. He forgot all about me.” Jaejoong stated, but his tone was disinterested. He'd considered and reconsidered the scenario a million times in his life; right now he had bigger priorities.

Changmin felt a dead weight settling in his stomach, as he pondered whether or not there was a connection between Mrs Park's blackmail and what he did to Jaejoong. He wasn't sure how the two things could be related. Hadn't Yunho told him Mrs Park didn't even know Jaejoong, until their little holiday, and even then she hadn't been certain which boy he was until this evening? How could Jaejoong have been involved in her blackmail? “How old were you, when that happened?” he questioned, wondering why something was telling him he wouldn't want to hear the answer.

Jaejoong didn't notice his tense state, answering “15 or 16. I'm not really sure when it happened anymore.”

Changmin's blood ran cold. His hand twitched, and each one sent a jolt of pain to his heart. In some very indirect way, he was responsible for Jaejoong's earlier pain. He'd never known about any of this. He couldn't have known the repercussions Yunho's decision would have; his calm acceptance of Mrs Park's blackmail. But he'd had a role to play in it all the same.

How could he apologise for something like that?

Even now that the two of them were talking; he couldn't know the effect his impact had made on Jaejoong's life since then.

All he could do was to hold the other boy tight, as he waited for Yunho to return and claim his friend, once more. Though right now, Changmin really didn't know what he could possibly say to his older brother.