A/N: Ah you guys with your comments, you really make my day, I woke up early just so I could check whether or not you guys liked the last chapter and I DON'T get up early on the weekend! Sorry this chapter is coming late, I was out all day, and then I was writing an essay this evening, but the moment it was sorted out I came on here to update immediately... Sorry for being unreliable, ah I hope you enjoy the chapter....I nearly start jumping up and down when I see how you feel about what's going on and start making guesses about what's happening, really means alot to me that you're enjoying the story and take the time to write comments, I read every single one of them, and I hope I haven't left this too late to have given you your next update.

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Now that he knew he had Jaejoong on side, Yunho found that he wasn't half as concerned about what he should do with his mother or Seohyun as he had been before.

And since Jaejoong had beaten Yunho up, he was not only easier to get long with, but he seemed to almost blossom in some way. There was something about him that was that little bit brighter; friendlier; warmer.

If Yunho had thought about it too much, he might've decided that Jaejoong was happy that Yunho had said they were together. He may even have allowed himself to become so arrogant and deluded as to think that Jaejoong might actually want to be with him.

Of course, with their still unresolved background, and Jaejoong's loner attitude, that couldn't be the case. There was just no way that Jaejoong would allow his feelings to run that deep. He may have been both warm and kind, but he wasn't stupid. He wasn't going to magically fall in love with someone who betrayed him as badly as Yunho had a short few years ago.

Yes Yunho was aware how his actions had affected the boy. The one he struggled to care for and protect for so many years; he left him, and watched as he shattered; breaking apart. If he were honest, there were times back then when he'd genuinely believed he might lose Jaejoong forever; that the depressed boy might take his own life. So, against his better judgement, Yunho had to stay close by. Always near, but never close enough to touch him, only to watch over him.

He couldn't even abandon someone the right way. He had to keep himself nearby; just to make sure. He had to be ready, at a moment's notice to step back into the life he'd so willingly torn himself away from.

Jaejoong bothering to trust him again; to help him, after all he'd been put through for these last years, was more than Yunho could ever have deserved, or hoped for. And yet, he still found himself daydreaming; wishing with all his heart, that maybe he could dare hope for more.

It was thoughts like these that took up all of his focus, for the next week, thoughts of their conversation drifted into the back of his mind, to be replaced by so many other things. It took until then, for a thought to occur to him; something he'd forgotten about at the time, but that struck him now. It seemed so obvious he couldn't really see how he could have missed it earlier.

Without another thought he raced out of his room, out to the kitchen, where Jaejoong was fixing them something to eat. He seated himself on a bench top near the older man, but didn't say anything for a moment. His attention had been stolen by the food, and then by watching Jaejoong as he worked.

He didn't even seem to be thinking about what he was doing, but every subtle flick of his wrist was deliberate; everything had a purpose to it. He was always moving about, needing something from the fridge then something from a cupboard or their pantry. There was always something that he needed. Yunho got a little tired just watching him.

No wonder Jaejoong refused to cook anything when he got home late. It took so much work!

“What's up, Yunho?” Jaejoong queried. Not having looked in his direction since he arrived, and yet somehow still having been noticed by the focused older boy. He was so aware of what he was doing, and what still needed doing, that he could afford to spare some of his attention towards the younger boy, who, having stormed in so suddenly, must have had something important to say.

Yunho shook his head a little, trying to dislodge the control that those aromas seemed to have over his consciousness and his ability to form words. Blinking slightly, as though he were coming out of a stupor, his lips fumbled slightly as he tried asking “What did Yoochun say to you?”

Jaejoong tossed a quick, confused glance over his shoulder, back in Yunho's general direction, “I thought I already told you.”

Yunho shook his head, despite knowing that the gesture would be redundant given their current positions; Jaejoong couldn't see what he was doing. “You told me why he kicked you out. But you didn't tell me what he said to you about us being a couple. What did he tell you?” he explained, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared pointedly at Jaejoong's back.

The older boy didn't seem to react to the words, and so Yunho was forced to assume that it could only mean that he didn't think it was that big a deal to the boy before him. That was an improvement. Sure, Jaejoong still said that he hated the other boy, but his reactions always seemed to belie those words. Maybe he was starting to get over the loss of his best friend.

Yunho was a much better replacement anyway.

“He said something about how he heard the two of us were together, he didn't really elaborate or explain the comment though. Then he said I should be careful around you; that he wasn't sure whether he trusted you or not. That he was just looking out for my best interests, and I should accept his advice.” Jaejoong explained, the hand holding a spoon he'd picked up a moment before, wavered slightly, as he finished “He said he thought it was a bit soon for me to be moving on from him. He said I shouldn't go rushing into a new love affair with you just because you claim to return my feelings. He said you've hurt me once before, and I shouldn't open myself up to such treatment again so easily. He said I was a doormat.”

Still he bustled about, but he made sure Yunho didn't catch sight of his eyes. Made sure Yunho didn't see how much those words had hurt. He didn't need to be reminded of that pain, and it would ruin his whole image if he gave into those tears now. He hadn't worked this hard to change himself, to fall back into the same routines so quickly.

To give in to his tears would make him weak again; like he was back then. He didn't want to be that weak ever again. Everything had been fine, when he'd had Yunho there to rely upon, but then he left. Inevitably, everyone seemed to leave him. He had to be strong; tough so no one would leave anymore. So that even if they did leave, it wouldn't bring his whole world crashing down around him; he had to be a real man.

But one look at Yunho while he repeated Yoochun's words, would have shattered the tenuous control he had over his emotions. Those tears would have broken free and he would be reduced to that quivering, whimpering mess he was for most of his life. He didn't want to allow himself to revert to being like that. And yet, the control he had over himself was already fragmented.

Here he was cooking again. He'd always known that men were less likely to cook than women. That people considered his culinary skill to be matching with his effeminate looks. In the past it had never mattered; the only people who knew were his family and Yunho. Whenever anyone else had found out, Yunho would silence them with a few choice words of his own.

When he'd been left on his own, he'd stopped cooking. His first tentative steps into his new 'I don't care” attitude had quickly clamped down on his forays into the kitchen. That's just not the sort of thing that manly, loner boys did. He'd restricted it; he did it as little as possible.

But he'd broken down; he'd allowed his old habits to creep back up on him. He was back in the kitchen again; cooking away for someone else; to impress them. He always cooked to impress. He'd done it with Yoochun too, once they started living together.

Now that he was a university student he'd had no one he could leave the cooking to anymore. He didn't live at home; he couldn't just leave it for his mother or one of his sisters to do in his place. He'd figured that the circumstances legitimised the action. He'd realised his faux pas, when Yoochun had returned to find one such meal Jaejoong prepared. He'd sent him one of those insightful glances, but other than that, he hadn't said anything.

Jaejoong had thought he accepted this “new” unknown aspect to Jaejoong. He usually ate the meals that Jaejoong prepared; he never said anything that would indicate he thought they were out of place, at least to Jaejoong. He'd thought everything was fine. But, he'd misread something along the way. He'd gotten kicked out for seemingly being in love with the other man, had he not? Maybe it was all the cooking? And yet here he was doing exactly the same thing with Yunho.

He cooked because he loved cooking. He cooked because others always said they loved his cooking. He cooked because he wanted other people to love his cooking. But maybe he'd misunderstood, maybe they didn't like it as much as he'd thought?

“Hey, Yunho?” he questioned uncertainly, not sure that he really wanted Yunho to answer him. Not sure that he really wanted to hear the answer he was going to receive when he posed his real question to Yunho. All the same though, a part of him really did want to know if he'd been labouring under a misapprehension for all of these years, and everyone had just been too nice to say anything about it before now.

“Mmm?” Yunho hummed, head now tipped back against the cupboard behind him, eyes closed as he just sat; taking in all of the smells and letting them play across his blank mind. “What would you say if I were to stop cooking this right now?” he queried, sounding remarkably stuck between wanting to ask the question and wanting to take it back.

Yunho didn't have to stop for a second before he answered, eyes still closed, “I would fall off of this bench and writhe around in hunger-induced agony for the rest of my life.” Before the eye facing Jaejoong slipped open, curiously, “Why do you ask? Is something wrong?”

Jaejoong opened his mouth to speak, but changed his mind, making sure not to shake his head, otherwise Yunho would know he'd changed what he was going to say. Yunho wasn't the brightest when it came to people, but he rarely missed the obvious, and he was as stubborn as a mule when it came to forcing stuff out of people. He was fairly certain he recalled one occasion, when Jaejoong was staying over his house, and had refused to tell him something as a child, where Yunho had followed him, pestering him even as he bathed, until Jaejoong had relented and told him what he wanted to know.

“Well, not exactly. I just can't seem to locate the soy bean paste, and without it, I might have to get rid of it all.” he stated uncertainly.

Yunho's eyebrows meshed together quizzically, as he shuffled over to another cupboard, a little over an arms length away from his perch, shoving aside an item or two before locating the object in question. “Here you go. Though it seems pretty much ready to me, I don't see why it would've needed to be thrown away just because you couldn't find the soy bean paste.” he replied sounding both helpfully upbeat and dubious at the same time.

Jaejoong reached a hand behind him, feeling without looking for what Yunho was handing him. “It's the core element; without it none of the flavours will be tied together correctly. It would have tasted awful.” he stated evasively, knowing that Yunho would probably buy whatever he said the moment it in anyway related to the kitchen.

Yunho had long since taken to referring to Jaejoong as the culinary expert, and he wasn't about to question him in the slightest on any matter in that field.

All the same, Jaejoong felt a gnawing sensation in his stomach. His question hadn't accurately reflected what he had wanted Yunho to tell him. He still felt like he needed to get an answer one way or the other. He'd successfully avoided any further scrutiny; he would have been able to let the matter drift away; never to be discussed again. But he found the words slipping from between his lips before he could help them, “That's not the reason I.... I want to know something else...” he began uncertainly, but found himself bustling about to serve the food before it burned, before he could continue speaking.

Yunho had looked as though he were going to question him about it, but realising he would get no answers right then, simply followed the older man over to the table.

They sat there, picking at their food, but neither of them ate much at first. Jaejoong was waiting for the courage to ask what he so dearly wanted to know and simultaneously didn't want to know. Yunho was waiting for Jaejoong's question.

Finally, unable to stand the anticipatory silence, Jaejoong reacted. He dropped his chopsticks, and with a ragged breath, and eyes cast aside, unable to look at Yunho as his question sunk in. “Am I a good cook?”

Yunho had to blink at the question for a second. He had a feeling that the question was more complex than face value might indicate, and yet he'd never been very good at working out other possible meanings to a comment like that. All the ways it could have been meant swam around and around in his head, and it made his head hurt trying to think them all into words, and then evaluate them.

The best way to get anywhere would be to speak his first thoughts, no matter the question Jaejoong posed right now. “Duh! You've always been good with food, ever since you were little. Everything you make tastes lovely. I can't get enough of your cooking; if that's not a good cook, what is?” he stated easily.

Jaejoong grimaced slightly as he felt heat flash across his face. “That's not what I meant. I meant, ah I don't know what I meant.” he exclaimed, annoyed. Yunho regarded his friend calmly, “Just explain what you want to know; forget about what you said before. If that's not what you meant, ask me again; I promise I'll answer, no matter how many times it takes.”

Jaejoong sighed at the answer; typical, princely Yunho. But it was what he'd needed to hear even if it were cliché and kind of trashy. He took another deep breath, before trying a second time to find out what he'd wanted to know. “Is my cooking good, you know, despite the fact that I'm a guy?” he questioned.

Yunho seemed perplexed by the question momentarily, but a light of recognition went off in his eyes after he started speaking. “Well of course it is, I don't understand why it wouldn't be just because you—..... Jae, is this like that time with the sushi when we were in Year 9?”

Jaejoong attempted to deny it, but it seemed to strike him just how similar the two situations really were, so he halted his flailing hands. Yunho attempted to lean across the table and grasp his hand firmly, urging the older man to look him in the eye as he spoke. “Jae, I meant what I said back then, even if I can't remember the exact wording right this minute. You're more of a man than any of the other guys that might tell you otherwise. They are just jealous because you can do stuff like cooking that they can't, and can do it better than most girls, without being any less of a man than them. They're just jealous of your talent. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

Jaejoong yanked his hand back, sending Yunho an exasperated look, as his cheeks were stained a dark pink by the younger man's words. “Yah! If I'm so much of a man, then how could you tell that I like guys; don't think I didn't notice the last time you said something like that. Do I have it tattooed to my forehead or something?” he demanded.

Yunho just shrugged, “It wasn't the cooking that made me say it. There is just something about you that makes me think you're gay. Maybe it's the fact that I've never heard of you mentioning any girls in your life apart from your sisters?” he suggested.

Jaejoong's eyes rolled at the answer, but he smiled slightly, despite himself, “Anyone who had as many sisters as I did, must automatically become gay. It's like a rule or something. You just couldn't think of women in the same way after living with them for so many years.”

Yunho laughed, but his heart wasn't fully in it. He was troubled by Jaejoong's question, even if he had been sure of the answer that he gave the other man. It bothered him that Jaejoong was still thinking thoughts related to incidents in their youth. He thought that the two of them had settled it at the time, if Jaejoong's unabashed grin, and averted eyes had been any indication at the time. But perhaps they weren't as reliable as he'd thought they were back then.

“That wasn't what you said, you know” Jaejoong said, offhand, not quite able to let the memory fade just yet. At least, not until he cleared something up. Yunho turned to regard the other idly, “Oh? What did I say?”

Jaejoong looked down at his lap, as he spoke, the meaning he'd previously instilled in those words having not quite disappeared despite all of the years, the memory had been lying dormant within his mind. It overwhelmed him a little to feel that same rush of emotion at the thought of what had passed from Yunho's lips, but he couldn't allow himself to hold it so dearly for a second time.

“You said that you didn't care what any of the other boys said. What I made was delicious, and that you hoped I'd never stop cooking. That no matter what anyone else said, you'd be there to eat everything.”

Yunho blanched slightly at the thought of how forward he'd been with Jaejoong back in those days, even as he smiled at his own audacity. How did he manage to speak like that with his best friend for so long and not get caught? Why did Jaejoong never end up feeling uncomfortable? “Did I now?” he answered, but both knew it was only because no other words could be conjured up in response to that.