A:N/ Ah I was hoping you wouldn't realise that I've been updating alot but I've finally been caught..... I feel so slack about this, it makes me feel like I'm not a real fanfiction author to say it, but...... I maybe....might....already have finished this story... okay so I already finished it, and am only putting chapters up online daily... But in my defence I write things absolutely horribly on the spur of the moment...The story wouldn't flow anywhere near as well as it does now (I hope)...So I'm really sorry I'm not spontaneously writing this for you constantly (barely have the time to write 2 pages a day right now)... but at least I'm guaranteed not to leave you hanging because I lose inspiration? Will daily updates get me out of trouble? Mianhamnida everyone... Try and enjoy the chapter, ne? 

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He still hadn't forgiven the younger man when they got back to the apartment.

The walk from the train station had only resulted in the both of them getting wetter than ever, since the wind had picked up during their train ride. It had nearly destroyed the umbrella, what with how it got buffeted around, and so despite having that small layer of protection, both boys had been completely soaked by the time they were inside their apartment once more.

Their skin was chilly to the touch, and yet they felt so hot. They were both at risk of getting ill, if they weren't already. With that in mind, along with his desire to separate from Yunho after being pressed up against him for so long, when he was supposed to be mad at him, Jaejoong hurriedly raced off to the bathroom.

He released a ragged breath as he slid down slightly, allowing his full body weight to be supported by the bathroom door, now acting as a barrier between them. With how cold and angry and tired and miserable the train ride and subsequent walk home had made him, Jaejoong felt a few tears slipping past his firmly clenched eyelids.

He couldn't understand why things had to be like this. He hated feeling so angry with the other man, but he hated his secrecy more. Ever since they were teenagers Yunho had ceased being that open, outgoing boy that revealed everything to Jaejoong. He always seemed to be trying to hide one thing or another. He was like that right before they stopped being friends, and apparently he was still like that now.

Did Yunho seriously not understand how it made him feel to be left out of things like this? He was part of all of this too. He deserved to know what they were doing, why they were doing it and how long they were doing it for. He hated how Yunho would just decide these things, and never bother to inform him about any of it. He felt like Yunho thought he was a child; like he couldn't be trusted.

That thought made something in his stomach quiver. What right did Yunho have to make him feel untrustworthy? If anyone was untrustworthy, surely that should be Yunho after all he'd done. After he'd abandoned Jaejoong, out of the blue; with no explanations. Yunho should have been worshipping the ground Jaejoong walked on every second, for deigning to accept him back into his life with open arms; for daring to be his friend once more.

He huffed, his fingers raking through his hair, tugging lightly on the shafts of his dark hair in his frustration. Thinking these sorts of thoughts about Yunho never got him anywhere. So with a reluctant huff, he peeled off his wet clothes and slid into the welcoming warmth of the shower.

He heard the door open a moment later, but it shut again quickly, so he didn't really think anything of it, initially. But when the door opened once again, while he was trying to rinse off his shampoo, something in his chest started racing.

He could just feel that there was someone else in the bathroom with him. Yunho had never been in there when Jaejoong had his showers before. Would he really have come in this time? Or could it be someone else? His heartbeat picked up as images of some masked burglar sneaking into their apartment flooded his mind.

What if it was worse than that? What if he were some crazed stalker, who had followed the two of them home. What if Yunho was lying in a pool of his own blood from the unexpected head wound he'd sustained in the insane man's blitz attack. What if that was him sneaking into the bathroom hoping to claim Jaejoong as his prize?

He knew how far-fetched the entire scenario sounded, but the thoughts tempted him all the same. As horrifying and terrifying as that scene would be; as awful as it would be to endure, it would also be the first time anyone had made Jaejoong feel like he was desirable. While he'd be horrified, mortified, terrified and traumatised, he'd be lying if he said that his long dormant ego wasn't the tiniest bit flattered by that scenario.

Consequently he wasn't sure exactly how pleased he was when he heard Yunho's familiar, though unsure voice float over to him, echoing off of the walls. “Jae?You okay?”

“Fine. Just very cold.” he answered, his voice flat. He wasn't sure how angry he was with Yunho anymore, the rage having subsided more and more into a surge of pain as he'd been clasping onto Yunho's form on the train.

It was so hard to remain close to the younger man, and remain angry with him; especially when he couldn't vent properly.

“Ah, I know how you feel, I'm still freezing. Don't suppose I could slip in there with you, by any chance?” he ventured, tone sounding neither particularly interested, nor expectant of an affirmative answer.

Jaejoong was so surprised by the comment that he couldn't even shout no, in a manner he would normally find appropriate. He was worried that his voice would sound uncertain; as though he were considering allowing Yunho to do so. What if Yunho actually tried? He wasn't sure he was ready to be that close with the other man right now.

He might not be angry with him at the present moment, but his words had still hurt him, and he still hadn't received either an apology or an explanation.

Even ignoring all of that, though. He wasn't certain he was ready to be seen by another man. Sure, he knew he was gay and all, but this relationship he had with Yunho was the closest he'd had to a relationship with another guy; romantic or otherwise. After everything he'd had to deal with, and his lack of experience and comfort with his own body in front of other guys, he couldn't help thinking that allowing himself and Yunho to do anything remotely intimate was too big a step for him given their current relationship status. He didn't think he could handle being so close to someone who wasn't serious about wanting him; someone that wanted to be with him.

Consequently, his protest never ventured any further than the offended squawk he'd let loose the moment Yunho had voiced his question.

“Ah, sorry, sorry!” Yunho hastily apologised, “I was just kidding. I probably shouldn't say things like that, right now though, should I?” he queried but his contrite tone, told Jaejoong he wasn't expected to answer him. He wished that he could tell Yunho otherwise, but he was displeased to realise that the younger man's words reflected his feelings perfectly at the moment.

“You were in such a hurry to get the first shower you didn't grab anything. So I got you a towel, and a pair of warm, fluffy pyjamas.” the younger man informed him politely.

Jaejoong wasn't sure why, but the simple action brought a small smile to his face as he washed out his conditioner. “Thanks, Yunho.” he replied, equally politely.

He wondered how long the other boy planned on remaining in the room. He was starting to feel a little uncomfortable, since he was about ready to hop out of the shower now, but he said nothing.

The silence between them was too tense; too uncomfortable. It didn't feel like there was any place for those sorts of words right now.

Yunho mumbled something Jaejoong couldn't catch as he left the bathroom, the door sliding closed with a soft bump. He breathed a sigh of relief, at the other boy's departure.

Sure he wasn't angry with Yunho anymore, he wasn't even feeling particularly hurt by this time, but the other boy was feeling so awkward. He acted like he had to walk on eggshells around him; as though Jaejoong might attack him or something.

He dried himself with the fluffy towel, his gratefulness to Yunho only increasing when he realised that there was a chill in the bathroom he hadn't noticed before his shower. He hugged his towel to himself, as he tried to think of what he would need to do, to reassure the younger man that he didn't hate him.

That had always been one of Jaejoong's problems for as long as they'd been friends. Everyone expected that because the two of them were close, he would be the only one able to make things better with Yunho; no matter what happened, or with whom. But Jaejoong didn't even know how he made things better with Yunho when he was in the wrong.

He'd fumble and fail, and magically at the end of all his discomfort, Yunho would like him again. But that had been years ago; back when the two of them were still children. They weren't that close anymore; he couldn't be the least bit certain of how the time had changed their relationship. Who knew if he could fix things with Yunho at all anymore?

His troubled thoughts fled the moment his eyes scanned the pyjamas Yunho had brought into the bathroom for him to wear. He frowned in confusion, at first not even certain they were his. They were not his style at all; why would he have bought something like this?

But a closer look at the items in question made him smile. He recognised the clothes. He hadn't seen them in a long time, but he certainly did recognise them. He hastily shrugged the top over his shoulders, buttons being haphazardly thrown together. He yanked the pants on as quickly as he was able, not wanting to fall over in his eagerness to exit the bathroom.

A smile was tugging at his lips as he hopped out of the bathroom, jubilantly, eyes scanning the upcoming lounge room, as he sought out his friend's form. He spotted him instantly, slouched over the bench top, as he read something on the counter top.

With a grin, Jaejoong threw himself at the younger man's back, sending him jolting forward towards the bench at the unexpected weight against his back. It reminded the both of them of the train ride earlier, although this time the older man's arms were wrapped tightly around Yunho's waist.

Jaejoong frowned slightly when he realised that Yunho had gotten changed, probably before he went into the bathroom. He was wearing a pair of satin sleeping pants, with a loose, faded black T-shirt. The look certainly suited him much better than Jaejoong's current set of pyjamas would have; but that had kind of been the point at the time.

Yunho's hair was still damp to the touch, and Jaejoong frowned at the thought of him going to bed like that. After how soaked, and freezing the two of them had been, he really should have had a shower. He still could; Jaejoong had left more than enough hot water for him, but it didn't seem to interest him in the slightest.

“You kept them.” he stated simply, squeezing his eyes shut in disbelief, as he tried to burrow further into Yunho's back.

“I did. I've worn them too.” Yunho responded, his tone sounding pleased, but still possessing a cautious edge to it that Jaejoong didn't like.

“I know. I can tell. You've destroyed them.” Jaejoong told him with a hushed laugh.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Yunho turned, within Jaejoong's hold. He looked down at the boy before him, and with his most apologetic tone and eyes, he whispered against his forehead, “I'm sorry I made you feel like you didn't matter to me because I didn't tell you about all this stuff. I really hadn't considered it before, what with how this whole thing started. I'd already had those plans buried away deep inside my mind for years. I've just been waiting for the right time to implement them. When your sisters wanted to know when we'd stop this whole charade of ours, I figured that would be the closest possible time we could stop when I was trying to think of something on my feet.”

“Why did you need to think of anything at all?” Jaejoong demanded.

“Because your sister was right. This thing could be made to last as long as we want it to. You're only agreeing to help because you're a nice person—” Yunho began.

Jaejoong snorted at that comment. “Me? A nice person? You've got to be kidding. Nice people don't have as bad a temper as I do.”

“I meant it in the sense that you're not getting anything from helping me. This whole scheme only suits my needs; not yours. But to do so, it necessitates you getting tied down with me. I can't take away your freedom like that, without a good reason, and to be honest, I don't really have one. You do matter to me, Jae and because I care for you, I needed to give you a date when our charade would end in order to give you an exit. A point in time where you could walk away, and you wouldn't have to worry about this anymore.”