A:N/ So I'm wondering whether I should assume people are busy with their exams and end of semester/term work or if they just plain hated the last chapter and are lodging a protest with their silence.... If it's the former, then good luck to everyone and if it's the latter then I'm sorry, please come back, I love and miss you all!

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Yunho felt dirty as he entered the hotel, trying his best to go unnoticed by everyone else. He'd spotted himself in a few mirrors between Mrs Park's hotel and his own, and he knew that outwardly, there was nothing wrong with how he looked; nothing was out of place. But he was still intensely aware of what he'd done, and that made him feel guilty.

He'd ditched the man he loved in a club, with a random stranger he only sort of liked or trusted, in order to go have with a woman he didn't love.

He was loathe to walk up the stairs, let alone actually enter his room. In the worst case scenario he would walk in on the man he loved, his beloved Jaejoong locked in a passionate embrace with Junsu. He didn't even allow himself to consider the notion that they might be in the process of doing something much more intimate when he entered. Even if that weren't the case, he would still know that Jaejoong had some idea, if not entire knowledge about what he'd done.

Whatever his motivations or his desires, he'd still ditched a friend in favour of getting laid. No one would ever believe him if he'd said that he hadn't enjoyed himself, so he could never try and claim otherwise, without being seen as a liar. He couldn't even be sure if he would be a liar anymore. And Jaejoong would know all that, with one look. No, Jaejoong had known the moment he sent him that text message.

His having left immediately after they were done felt like small consolation, for all the trouble the event itself had caused.

With all of these morose thoughts running through his mind, he wasn't sure how relieved he was when he entered the hotel room he'd gotten for him and Jaejoong and found the two boys lying on the two, very separate beds. Although they weren't doing anything, they could have been up to something earlier, and he wouldn't know any better. And either way, that still meant that Junsu had been lying on his bed.

If he were more immature than he actually was, he might have started grumbling under his breath about germs or cooties or something.

Both boys gave him pleased smiles at his return, but there was something off about Jaejoong's. It made him think the other boy had been upset, about something before he arrived, and the thought made that guilt he felt triple.

Jaejoong's eyes drifted, unable to keep looking into Yunho's own, confirming for the younger man that he was the source of Jaejoong's unhappiness. He wished he could explain this away as nothing. But Jaejoong wasn't stupid; he wouldn't be able to hide what had happened, and he didn't want to. He didn't want to start actively lying to Jaejoong now.

The older man excused himself, heading into the cramped bathroom, leaving the two younger men alone in their hotel room. Yunho considered using this as an opportunity to toss the younger man out, but thought better of it. Who knew what ramifications such an action might have with Jaejoong.

He padded over, settling lightly on Jaejoong's bed, trying to give off an air of comfort, but simultaneously preparing to jump up at a moments notice, for when Jaejoong left the bathroom.

Junsu regarded the older man with a considering look, “Hey Yunho?” the older man made no move to reply, but did shift his look over to the other man's direction. “I know you'd like some time to yourselves, so I'll agree to leave when Jaejoong comes out of the bathroom, if you'll answer a question for me.”

Yunho considered making a comment about Junsu's statements. The look Junsu was giving him told him that any attempts at rebuttal would have been ignored. He could have made a comment about how weird Junsu's proposal was. Instead, all that left his tired lips was a careful “Alright.”

“When did you lose your ity?” Junsu pushed, the comment coming from his lips lightly, as though he weren't asking a stranger a very intimate question.

“What?” Yunho gasped, but Junsu made no attempt to clarify himself. His question had been perfectly clear; there was no room for misinterpretation of a comment like that. “Why are you asking me that?”

“I'm not going to answer you.” Yunho stated, disbelievingly. The question just seemed so random, too private and unexpected; he couldn't believe Junsu was asking him this. There was no way he was going to answer that; he never had any other time some stranger asked him. “If you don't answer me, I'll kiss Jaejoong. Right in front of you. Do you really want to put yourself through that. I know he won't do anything, about it. Could you handle seeing the one you love kissing someone else?” Junsu demanded, his face completely blank.

Yunho didn't have to answer him, for them both to know the answer to that question. Yunho would answer him, if that was the consequence of keeping his silence, but he still regarded the other with complete mortification. “Why do you want to know?” he persisted.

Junsu shrugged, “A theory I've been considering.” crossing his arms impatiently, gaze flicking in the direction of the bathroom, as though expecting Jaejoong to come out at any second. “I won't tell Jaejoong, if that's what you're concerned about.” he added, finally.

Yunho nodded, relieved to know that Jaejoong wouldn't find out his answer. He'd kept it a secret from him for years, he couldn't let the older man find out now. “15 or 16.” he finally answered, haltingly. The numbers were so hard to get out. He didn't want to think about that. Why did Junsu have to mention it after the night he'd already had? He didn't want to think about Mrs Park again.

He could see a flicker of recognition in what he'd said, as though a flurry of connections were quickly being made before Junsu's eyes. He nodded thoughtfully, sending Yunho a short, piteous look, for what Yunho couldn't tell.

“He...That woman—“ he began, but he stopped speaking the moment Jaejoong emerged from the bathroom, embarrassed smile glowing on his face. He looked much better; he must have wanted to clean himself up a bit.

Yunho was a little concerned that Junsu would continue with that line of questioning, but the younger man gave a slight shake of his head, as he stood. “Ah, it's getting late, I best get going.” he commented, making a big show of yawning, to accompany his statement. He gave Yunho a two wave, not daring to breech the distance between them, in order to shake his hand. Such close proximity would have felt awkward right now. He walked over, giving Jaejoong a short hug, whispering to him to remember to tell Yunho, before he left.

The two men stared at one another thoughtfully, neither really knowing what to say to the other.

Jaejoong's awkward smile, gave way to an excited grin, as he suggested, “Wanna go down to the pool?” Yunho considered the proposition for a moment, before nodding, his agreement. Jaejoong hurried back into the bathroom changing into his costume in a flash, wrapping his towel around himself, before exiting.

Yunho waved him off, telling him to go down to the pool; that he'd meet him down there. Jaejoong paused only momentarily, before following his instructions, telling Yunho to grab the room key, before the door slammed shut behind him.

He went down, making sure to walk very slowly around the pool, not wanting to hurt himself; given how clumsy he was. If anyone were going to slip, it would be him. He didn't need to add to that risk by running as well. He dumped his towel on a nearby chair, stepping into the cold water. He shivered slightly, but pushed himself in deeper all the same. If he wasn't already wet by the time Yunho joined him, the younger boy would dunk him, or splash him; whatever was easier at the time. It was much easier if he just did it to himself.

He walked along the bottom of the pool, heading towards the deep end. The water got up around his shoulders, when he decided to go under the water. While he waited for Yunho to arrive, he entertained himself by attempting to do somersaults and handstands. At some point during that time, a worker had the waterfall at the corner of the deep end, where the rocky ledge was found. They'd also their outdoor lamps, the light of the flame flickering and waving about wildly.

The light bounced off of the slight waves of the water lapping, and Jaejoong was struck by how peaceful the whole thing was. Why was no one else out swimming at this time of night? A horrified thought that he might've been breaking the rules, by being there entered his mind, but he anxiously checked the plaque over by the gate. The pool didn't close until 11pm. He was fine.

It was around this time that Yunho came through the gate, and he considered making a comment about how long it took the younger man to get ready. It'd serve him right for all the times he'd teased Jaejoong about taking all day to prepare to go out.

He had to force himself to stop observing his friend. That's all they were. Yunho had a girlfriend. He shouldn't be watching him as he dropped his towel beside Jaejoong's on the seat. He shouldn't have been staring at the younger man's chest and stomach. He shouldn't have been trying to imagine what he'd see beneath his board shorts. He didn't even spot the younger man's cheeky grin, as he walked over to the deep end, and dived into the pool.

He barely remembered to struggle when Yunho tried to pull his legs out from underneath him, and pull him under the water. Damn Yunho for being able to hold his breath for longer. His clumsy movements, weren't enough to avoid Yunho's strength, and he felt himself being under the water.

He emerged with a gasp only to hear Yunho's guffaws at his expense. All of his hair had been plastered to his face, so he couldn't see, so he couldn't even manage to glare at Yunho effectively. He had no idea where the younger man even was. He was completely defenceless against his second attempt to dunk him.

This time he dragged him down, and over towards the deep end simultaneously. As a result, when he attempted to break the surface, he could only get a few shallow breaths in before, he would bob back under the water again, at the slightest push from Yunho.

He couldn't remember why he asked to go swimming with the younger man by this time. So what if he got to ogle his body, and feel how strong he could be. All of that strength and iness was just turned against him, in order for Yunho to play his little games. He always found it to be so much fun to try and drown Jaejoong. He was so immature.

When he noticed Jaejoong struggling to breathe, he moved closer, the older man quickly latching onto his frame. Arms firmly wrapped around his shoulders, and legs locking about his midsection. Yunho looked a little uncomfortable at the extra weight that had settled upon his hips, but he said nothing, moving a little further over to the shallow end of the pool.

“Were you trying to kill me?” Jaejoong demanded, but there was no bitterness in his tone. He wasn't angry. They'd been playing in pools in this way for years. He could even say, with only a small amount of reluctance that he'd missed it, these last few years.

Yunho said nothing, but grinned, as he decided to show off, by swimming over to the waterfall. Jaejoong followed, annoyed at having been left behind. “Come on, let's see who can swim further. You can only take one breath, then you swim as far under water as you can.” Yunho explained animatedly, pointing towards the furthest edge of the pool. He wanted them to try and get over to the steps in the shallow end?

“It'll be you.” he commented, with a click of his tongue, but he was grinning, as he took the biggest breath he could and jumped off the rock ledge. He pushed further and further, until his chest burned, and his head was starting to feel funny, before he broke the surface. He'd made it far closer than he thought he would, but he knew that Yunho would beat him, either way.

Yunho grinned, before he jumped in, leaving a massive splash in his wake. He could see Yunho approaching him, and he had to banish naughty thoughts of what Yunho might've been looking at as he passed him, touching the wall at the same moment that he broke the surface for a breath.

Yunho flopped onto his back, with a sigh, just floating, his way back down to the other end of the pool, eyes slipping closed in pleasure. Jaejoong had been about to try jumping on him, willing the blush to go away at his thought of riding Yunho around the pool, when something caught his eye.

Immediately a wave of anger and jealousy flowed through him. He'd seen a mark, marring the otherwise perfect skin of his Yunho's body. He'd seen some exactly like it before, on his neck. But this one was just inside of his hip bone, clearly spreading further beneath his costume.

He knew that Yunho had gone off with some girl earlier. He even considered the possibility it might have been that Hiyeon woman that had been speaking to him and Junsu. He knew that he should expect that someone as attractive as Yunho would get hit on. He also knew that given Yunho's young age and virile state, he would probably have lots of with those sorts of women. Maybe even men as well, since he never talked about it with Jaejoong, it wasn't for him to say.

But to see that mark, glaring at him like that. It was taunting him, with what he'd never be able to have. That some random woman had gotten further with Yunho. That this woman had been closer, and more intimate than he would ever be able to, an hour ago, at most.

Despite all those thoughts, he'd allowed himself to fall back into his old feelings. He'd promised himself that he would be more cautious; that he wouldn't trust Yunho completely, wouldn't allow his feelings to get too deep, in case Yunho left him again, but he knew he hadn't. He couldn't keep that promise to himself. He'd somehow managed to convince himself, that while all that other stuff was true, it was so distant and removed from himself as to be effectively not true at the same time.

That really, Yunho was his. He'd allowed that delusion to grow and his feelings with it. Somewhere deep inside he'd been convinced that this holiday was just the two of them, getting closer. That this would be an opportunity for Yunho to turn his back on all of that other stuff, and just be madly in love with Jaejoong.

As sad and pathetic as it was, he'd been hoping for the other boy to fall madly and passionately in love with him. He'd wanted a confession, and romance, and to make love to one another and wake up in each other's arms again the next morning. He'd wanted to be told he was loved, and made promises that they'd be together forever.

And instead he had that big, dark purplish tinged mark glaring at him.

Suddenly those acknowledgements that Yunho wasn't attracted to him seemed so real. So tangible. They were laid out right there, across Yunho's skin. The sight hurt so much, but the fire of anger and jealousy that wracked his body seemed to erase that pain for the moment. He didn't want to acknowledge it. He didn't want it to be true.

His movements were so much faster; more fluid than they ever had been before as he pushed down, with all of his strength on Yunho's stomach and chest. The younger man gave out a startled yelp as he dipped below the surface. He was the uncoordinated one now, flailing, trying to regain his sense of balance, as the world toppled over and over as he scrambled to right himself.

Though he righted himself quickly, he wasn't as fast as Jaejoong, who by that stage, had already gotten out of the water. He wrapped his towel around himself, confidently, as though the action would show Yunho everything he was missing out on. Not that he'd ever been the sort to attract any sort of interest, so the action probably only worked in his own mind.

“Jae?” he questioned confused, unable to understand whether the action was meaningless or significant. Jaejoong might've done it just to be a pain as he decided he'd had enough, but he could have just as easily been venting something much deeper.

Jaejoong knew he was being childish. Even as that anger still pounded in his blood, and though he really wanted to say something cruel out of spite, he knew he couldn't. Yunho wouldn't let him off the hook about anything he did now. He'd want to know what was going on, and he'd push and push until Jaejoong told him.

After just being confronted with a horrifyingly real piece of evidence of Yunho's lack of interest in him, the last thing he wanted would be to have to tell Yunho he was in love with him. He was no martyr; he wouldn't sacrifice his heart like that. More than anything, he knew he would want to pretend this had never happened, and go back to his delusions where Yunho loved him, and everything he had right now was real. He couldn't do that if he confessed and were rejected once and for all.

He turned, poking his tongue out at the younger boy, as he put a cheeky smile on his lips, to mask his inner turmoil. In the dim light that lamp provided, he knew Yunho probably wouldn't be able to read his feelings, beneath that expression. “I think I've had enough. I'll see you back in the room.” he told the other boy, with a shrug, and a wave, grabbing the room key from it's place beside Yunho's towel, and going back inside the hotel.

He couldn't bare to see Yunho again this evening, so he raced into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Showering quickly, noting with disdain, that the chlorine in the pool had left his hair in rough clumps. He washed it vigorously, still not convinced that his hair had been repaired. Every strand still felt strange beneath his fingertips, like the rest of his skin.

Giving up he sighed, hurriedly changing for bed, and sliding between his sheets, before Yunho got in from the pool. He only allowed himself to shed a tear or two for what had happened.

As childish as it was, he allowed himself his small revenge. His jealousy had ebbed, during his shower, but he could still feel it. His heart seemed to convulse on every breath, that image refusing to leave him in peace yet. He wanted Yunho to hurt so badly, like he was.

If he really was jealous because he thought he liked Junsu, like the younger man had suggested, then it would serve him right. He knew Junsu had wanted him to explain the truth of their relationship to one another, but he just couldn't do it, after that. He liked the thought that Yunho would be riddled with angst at the thought of Jaejoong's heart belonging to someone else.

Besides, he thought to himself bitterly, if he was right and Yunho did have a secret girlfriend, as that second mark seemed to indicate, Yunho wouldn't be jealous of Junsu anyway.