RYUJIN'S POV

I was pouring some juice in the kitchen and I see Yeji walking to the kitchen with a disgusted face. I don't know why she was behaving that way. I see are drinking some water. I guessed there are two possibilities. One, she had an argument with someone close to her. Two, she is on her periods. And she made it obvious when she dropped the glass. She was definitely on her periods. I knew what to do. But I was scared that I will get beaten up by her. "Wait here" I said and went to the fridge. I grabbed some ice cream. I made sure it was chocolate .

I walked to her. And placed the ice cream in front of her. "You need this" I said and sat on the table after giving her the spoon. She hurriedly started eating it. She was not hungry but just craving some sweets. "Thanks" she said and smiled brightly. That's the thing I missed in these years. Seeing her happy made my heart fluttered. She completed the whole box of ice cream. "I am sorry" she said and pouted. I can't hold my heart. She was so cute. "It's ok, I know that's not enough for the next 5 days. I will buy more and make sure there are in the fridge when you need them" I spoke softly and waited for yeji.

She was satisfied after eating ice cream. I guess she was back to normal. "Thank you but it's ok I will not eat anymore" she kept the box aside. I got up from the chair. "I don't think you can stop your craving" I said with a smirk and sip my juice. "Shut up and why did you say next 5 days?" She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow . "Ohh, that. You should know that" I said being nervous again. She will not stop making me feel nervous or make my heart fluttered at the same time. "What? Stop playing puzzles" Yeji almost shouted. "Aren't you on your periods?" I said in a low voice . Yeji walked close to me. I leaned on the kitchen corner being scared. "How do you know that?" She said placing her hand beside my hand which was on the slap. "Ahmm, I just guessed" I said avoiding eye contact with her. 

 "Hmm" that all what Yeji said before leaving. I was still standing in the kitchen froze. I remembered I have to go to the engagement venue to take over some work. I was on leave from office for this month. I walked to Yeji's room. I knocked but there was no reply. The door was open. I entered the room and Yeji was not in her room. I hear a sound of water. She was in the washroom. I knocked the door of the washroom. "Yeji, I am going out. Do you need anything?" I spoke loudly to make sure she can hear me. The water stopped. She shouted from the other side. "No" 

 "Ok" I said and left. I was arranging the venue with my dad. When it was completed my dad waited for me to talk to him. "Ryujin, how is everything going?" My dad said. " I arranged the tables and chairs in my style. And the stage looks beautiful..-" I was cut when my dad interrupted me. "I am not talking about that. How is everything between you two?" My dad said. My dad know we dated once . But yet he don't know the cause of my disease. "Good dad, we are friends" I lied with a wide smile even though it hurts to speak about it. "Good girl, just love the people around you" he said and patted my head. 

I was driving to home then I remembered about buying stuff. I walked in the supermarket and put every chocolate possible in my basket. I bought ice creams, chocolates, jellys and gums. And I guess I even need some fruits. Obviously I am living with the person who is super moody. I paid and drove home. I see Yeji using her phone while sitting on the couch in the hall. I hurriedly went to the fridge and put the ice cream in so that it does not melt. I put everything on the dining table. I picked up the packets of chocolates, gums and jelly and put it on the table in front of her. She saw from the corner of her eyes and slightly smiled which was visible.

 "The ice cream is in the fridge, fruits on the table and you can keep this in your room." I said pointing everything . She kept the phone aside and stood up. "I told you, you don't have to do this" she spoke but I know she love being taken cared of. "You will eat them all, I know" I said and laughed. I see Yeji flipping expressions which scared me. She was looking with anger in her eyes.

 "Ok, I am sorry" I said and went to my room remembering something. I lifted the mini table fridge from my room which I am not using. I rushed to Yeji's room. She was about to close the door. I pushed the door with my shoulder. "What is this?" She asked and I placed it on the table . "I will connect it" I said and started plucking the cables. It was done. "I will bring your stuff. Wait a minute." I said and started running. I don't know why I was running but I was excited for some reason. I brought the things I bought for her. " Here" I placed everything eventually in the mini fridge. "What are you trying to do?" Yeji said in a suspicious tone. "What do you mean?" I asked being out of breath from all the running.

 "Why are you doing so much for me?" She said. That hit like sword in my heart. What should be my answer. I don't know yet why I was doing too much for her. "Is it too much?" I asked and continued. "If you think I am doing much for you then say me to stop If you don't like it" I said. Forming words which I don't know how. "You are over working everything. From the marriage to taking care" she said and I guess this time I want to run away. I don't want to be in the room for a single second. "It's a duty for me." I spoke and was about to leave but Yeji continued talking.

 "You had a option of rejecting the proposal, but you did not, why. Why didn't you just reject after knowing it is me?" Her words send shivers through my body. My legs feel weak. My forehead was sweety. I turned to face her. I really don't know why I choose to marry her. I don't love her. Do i? 

 I don't want to see her hurt me again. Do i?

I don't know why I am so dumb

 "for you to realize that you are not right every time" I said and she continued with her questions. "Do you still like me by any chance?" She spoke and I was too weak to stand facing her. I took support of the wall behind me. "You did not hear me once and made decisions. Those silly steps of yours changed my whole life Yeji. Once I was the most important person in your life. Why did not you listen to me if you promised me to stay with me? You did not give a chance to the person you loved. What else can I expect from you." I was not in a mood to fight with her. She never makes a point. "It's true that I did not give you a chance to speak, I was immature. And after so many years if I have heard you, still it did not make any difference" she spoke as if it was a one time thing. My love for her was a time pass. "The words have no value when they are not said at the time they were needed to be said" I spoke or almost shouted.

 "Now what? We have no chance even after this explanation. Things have not changed by your confession or by my listening" she spoke everything so easily. For once I feel like hitting her in face. Yuna was right she don't deserve me. "Nothing has changed? You know if you had heard me once that time, my life would have been so easy with you or without you"

I was screaming out of frustration. My eyes filled with tears. I mostly cry when I am frustrated. She spoke again "I did not cause any worst to you, you are the one who hurted yourself" 

It was so hard to listen the bad. I blamed myself the whole life. And here I am getting the best for my deeds. I feel pain in my chest. I couldn't breathe.  I don't even want to live anymore. I was losing hope on my life. I remembered there are other people who are my everything. I pulled out the injection from my pocket. Harshly bumping in my arm. I was out of breadth. I needed water. I drank water which was right in front of me on the table. 

I see Yeji worrying but I don't want her to come close to me. "This has changed in my life. My life has no guaranty. If I don't have an injection, it's all over" I spoke still feeling pain in my chest. It is hard not to groan in pain. I almost screamed in pain and tried to stand up holding my chest. I walked to my room. 

I lied in my bed. Crying and sobbing the whole night. I wish I never met her. I wish I never accepted her proposal. I know in the time I am with her. She will hurt me every day. I cared less about the ifs and buts. And Yuna was right. The people who I miss are chaeryoung and winter.they really helped me get over her.

To be honest I still love her. I am trying to move on. I fell for the most cold hearted woman. I want to hate her as she hates me but I cant. Why is it so hard?