Seoul

Jieun gingerly held Jihoon’s hand as they did their 90-degree bow amidst the applause and cheers from the fans. The Gocheok Sky Dome was filled and the support that they received for the Duality Tour’s first stop is overwhelming.

“Encore! Encore!” the fans chanted, after the pair announced that Last Fantasy was their last song.

She glanced at the smiling Jihoon, gauging how he feels about an encore. They were able to complete the show without any issues, which was honestly surprising to her. It was just two days ago when they had their little episode before rehearsals and she was a nervous wreck before the show started. However, Jihoon was calm to the point of being distant that it helped her ease her nerves.

“if he can do it, I should be able to do the same.”  She kept repeating those words, not allowing her emotions take over, especially when the object of those emotions seem to be doing just fine.

‘Jieun, maybe we should let one fan decide which song we’ll sing?” Jihoon finally said through his mic for everyone to hear, which made the crowd erupt in cheers.

She tried her best to smile her brightest, and said, “Maybe if they choose a song that doesn’t require dancing, I’ll agree, oppa.”

The crowd laughed.

“Arasso…let’s choose a random fan. Maybe we should ask a question. Whoever answers correctly can choose the song.”

A female fan who flew all the way from Jeju to attend the concert was able to answer Jihoon’s question about the Duality album. The enthusiasm of the fan who was shrieking and jumping up and down in disbelief was very infectious. In spite of herself, Jieun is actually enjoying. For a moment, it was just her, Jihoon and the fans, and the world seemed to be perfectly fine.

“So, unnie, what will it be? Please choose a ballad.” Jieun asked jokingly.

“I was thinking of an old ballad that Bi Oppa released in 2006 called Cassiopeia.”

Jihoon whistled. “That’s a pretty old one, I don’t think I’ve sung that in the last five years.”

Probably thinking that her request is going to get rejected, the fan had a disappointed look on her face.

“We’ll try to sing it..I remember the lyrics a bit.  Oppa?” Jieun came to the rescue.

She knew exactly which song that fan requested. It’s a sad song about two lovers who can’t let go of each other. She laughed internally thinking about how her luck . It could’ve been any song, but the fan ended up requesting a song that hits her right in the feels.

Jihoon shot her a questioning look, as if confirming if she knows the song. She nodded her lightly to confirm.

“I’m going to try if I can play it on the piano..then maybe we can just wing it. Do you know the 2nd verse?” Jihoon whispered on her ear.

“I think I remember the lyrics. Just jump in if I forget. Then I can harmonize with you on the chorus.”

“Okay.”

The fan who was on stage with them continued jumping up and down when she saw the pair walk towards the piano.

The crowd roared when Jihoon played the opening bars of Cassiopeia. The opening was a little rough and Jihoon chuckled as he struggled to remember the chords. The rest of the song went relatively smoothly, more than expected. There was a collective “Awww” from the fans as their voices blended during the chorus.

Jieun didn’t think she would be able to remember the lyrics well, but she did. When she started singing her verse, Jihoon smiled encouragingly, as if forgetting that she was his biggest fan and that she knows all his albums from start to end. His eyebrows would raise slightly as he encouraged and mouthed the lyrics to her.

In the heavens amongst the shining stars I see the spot of the star you found for me
You must bring up lovely thoughts of me once in a while, like a fairy tale

The memory of them stargazing in the evenings and sharing stories and smiles suddenly hit her. And the lyrics seemed to cut her to the heart with the unknowing Jihoon smiling at her as he played the piano and coached her the lyrics.  She stopped singing, and turned towards the crowd, pointing the microphone to them.

Jieun wasn’t able to look at Jihoon the entire time after that. She couldn’t do it and not think about how sad he makes her feel by just being close to her.

Busan

She took one look before finally hitting the ‘post’ button.

Jieun cracked her knuckles as she waited for her blog to refresh, and proceeded to go back to reading comments about their Seoul show. It was funny how many of her fans are fangirling on Jihoon. Back when the project was just starting, a huge part of the fan cafe comments expressed misgivings about her collab with Jihoon – mostly because he has such a “mature” image, and most of them felt like it’s going to affect her negatively. But now, some of them even love their so called ‘chemistry’ on stage. The most upvoted fancam in the Uaena fan café is a video of the encore where someone zoomed in on their faces, as they struggled through Cassiopeia.

“Ugh…” She can’t even finish watching the video.

Fans were melting at their “cute” interaction where Jihoon was encouraging and teaching her the lyrics while she sang her verse.

A loud knock on her hotel room door reoriented her thoughts to the present.

“Jieun, it’s me. I brought food.”

It was Hanteo. She opened the door and then sat lazily back on her bed.

“Aigoo..look at you. Are you seriously planning to do this after every show?”

Jieun scowled at Hanteo’s judgy face. Since the Seoul show, Jieun cooped herself up in her room, with no intention of exposing herself to Jihoon. It’s her best chance of not having a meltdown while the tour is ongoing. All she needed was her laptop, some books and maybe her favorite albums. She saw it as catching up on her reading and blogging. In the past week, she was able to revive her almost dead blog with two album reviews. It felt nice to be productive.

“Did you come here to bring food, or to nag?”

“Both.”

Jieun laughed softly.

“I’m fine. I just want to spend my time quietly in between shows. Would you rather I go partying all night?”

Hanteo rolled his eyes at her smartassery. “Fine. Suit yourself. Just text or something and let me know that you’re still alive, arasso?”

“Yes mom. I will.”

After eating, Jieun went back to checking her blog and saw that her latest post already had a comment. It’s the same account that has been liking her older posts, user Sarang625. Whoever it is, she couldn’t tell if the person is male or female because the account did not have an avatar, or a bio for that matter.  

Her latest post about her review on The ’ Future Present Past album got a comment from Sarang625.

Sarang625: Wow glad to read a new review from you. Seems like you have a lot of time do go through albums these days, and it’s fun to read them. Hope you’re doing well! Fighting! J

Positive comments from strangers brought back the uplifting feeling she used to have back in the day whenever people interacted with her through her blog. Now, as someone who is in a more successful position than teenage Jieun, it felt refreshing to hear encouragement form people who have no idea that she’s a famous musician. Somehow, it’s heartwarming that the positive feedback does not come from a preconceived notion of who she is.

With a smile, she replied: Life is not all rainbows and unicorns, but I’m surprisingly doing okay. Thank you for your kind comments and for reading my blog posts!

After watching some more fancams of their last show, Jieun slept early. She knew she had to prepare herself for another concert and just thinking about it already made her feel tired.

Hongkong

Hanteo seemed to be in a good mood, probably because she finally agreed to eat out.

“See, it’s nice to go out. The crew has been asking about you.”

Jieun couldn’t even look at Hanteo in the eye because she felt a little guilty. Miyeon and Hyunseung has been asking her to go out with them countless times but she always made an excuse. She could tell that they thought that she was avoiding them. What they don’t know is that it’s another person she’s avoiding.

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