[Jen]

I woke up the next morning on the couch of the hospital. I had a blanket over me and across the couch was Hye Won reading some magazine. I slowly got up trying to not get attention to myself but my foot got tangled with the blanket causing me to land almost face flat onto the floor. Thank God the floor was carpet.

"OMO!" Hye Won squealed. The front door then opened with Jaellie and Seungri carrying our breakfast, I guess. They laughed seeing me on the floor with the blanket caught around my leg; I couldn't help but laugh at myself too. When I finally got myself together, I sat on the couch and wrapped myself with the blanket.

Jaellie walked over to me and handed me some noodles and a bottle of milk; how exactly do they go together? I placed it on top of the table and leaned my back against the couch. I wasn't up for anything, not even eating. I just want Taeyang to wake up, the doctor said he won't fall into any coma, his body is just tired and it just needs rest. After a few minutes the door opened again, Jay came in with a white plastic bag... breakfast.

"I got breakfast already" I informed him. He walked over to my side and pouted. He looked so cute with the pout but it looked so weird at the same time because he is so tank. He sat next to me and placed the food on top of the table.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Getting there, how's Yoobin going?"

"She's good, she's awake now. She's looking for you by the way, you should go see her" he answered. I nodded my head and took the blanket off me.

"I'll be back, I'm just going to visit Yoobin" I told the girls and guy, they nodded in unison then Jay and I left.

. . . . . .

We arrived at Yoobin's room with Taecyeon sitting by her side and they were talking happily. Jay greeted them while I stood behind him; Taecyeon bowed his head towards me then stood up. He walked over to me and Jay then pulled Jay away. He bowed his head as he walks pass me then smiled. I smiled back then walked over to Yoobin's side. She was smiling brightly at me and gestured for me to sit next to her. I sat to where Taecyeon was sitting before, Yoobin held onto my hand.

"How's Taeyang?" she asked worried.

"He's okay. He should be waking up soon, how's you and the baby?"

"The baby's fine and I'm fine, better to be honest. Taecyeon is finally standing up for his child but don't get the wrong idea, he didn't ran Taeyang over. They didn't get to talk for long, Taecyeon was too stubborn to stay and speak with Taeyang. Taec doesn't know what happened too, we just have to wait 'till Taeyang wakes up. How are you holding up? I believe Jay and Junsu are taking good care of you" she explained.

"I'm good and yes they are taking good care of me. They are too careful with me ever since yesterday. Jiyong called them to take care of me after you left the house" I answered.

"How are you going to tell Jiyong about how you feel?" she suddenly asked. I haven't really thought about it. My head's been filled with thoughts of Taeyang that I forgot about what I'm going to say to Jiyong once he comes back. I looked at Yoobin and sighed. She held onto my hand and just smiled.

"You'll be fine, you will do the right thing, and you always do" she assured me. I smiled then the door opened. I turned around and saw Jiyong smiling.

WHAT IS HE DOING BACK HERE? I quickly shot a glance at Yoobin and she looked as confused as me. Jiyong walked over to me and hugged me from behind. He kissed the top of my head then locked his hand around my neck lightly.

"What are you doing back here?" Yoobin asked the question I couldn't seem to ask.

"Daesung called me as soon as he heard the news and I told Siyon I won't stay in Japan so I packed my bags called my other manager and told him about Taeyang's situation and he gave allowed me to come back last night." He explained.

My whole body tensed. I couldn't stand being around Jiyong without thinking about Taeyang, without thinking about the night we had together; our perfect night. He locked his hand with mine, I looked up and he smiled at me. Thinking about him smiling at me kills me inside and out.

"I'm going to have to borrow my girlfriend for a while, we have a lot to catch up on" Jiyong said. I stared at Yoobin letting her know that I wasn't ready yet.

"We haven't finished talking" she said quickly.

"You should check up on Taeyang again, Jen will be there in 15 minutes; I have a lot to tell her and to say sorry for so I need all the time I can get with her" Yoobin lied. Jiyong let go of my hand and landed a kiss on my forehead. "I'll see you soon babe" he said. I smiled back at him then the door shut behind me. I placed my face in between my hands regretting the day I said 'Yes' to him, I feel so terrible.

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[Jiyong]

Just like Yoobin said, 15 minutes later Jen was back at Taeyang's room. I sat on the couch while I watch her hold onto Taeyang's hand. Just by looking at Taeyang not moving Jen's almost crying. Sometimes I wonder if I met Jen earlier, do you think I would have the love Taeyang is receiving.

Do you think she'll love me far more than I love her? Silly questions I know but I know Jen will never love another more than she loves Taeyang, somehow I'm so martyr. I've never really thought about myself and how I felt about their relationship. This whole time I've known Jen, I did nothing but revolved my whole life around her. She's the girlfriend I'm never going to have again. I'm thankful I was given a chance to be with her; a chance I still have. I walked over to her side and wrapped my arms around her. I could feel her tensed up, every time I lay a finger on her she would always fidget; I guess I've been away for far too long.

"Can I take you out for a walk now?" I asked as I leaned closer to her ears. She fidgeted again then she stood up leading the way out of the room.

. . . . .

"Such a beautiful day huh?" I started when we reached the bench outside the hospital. It was such a beautiful morning actually, the sun wasn't as hot as it should be; the clouds were clearing up the sky and the birds were just the same as always – chirping happily. Jen just nodded her head and was keeping her distance from me. I moved closer to her only causing her to leave a gap in between us, was I gone for that long?

"How are you feeling?"

"I'll be fine, you shouldn't have come. I mean it's great you're here but what happens to your promotions in Japan? Don't tell me you'll stop it?"

"Only for a few days, I'll be back there as soon as I can and plus I had to comeback because there's something I didn't get a reply on" I said and her head tilted immediately towards my way. I guess I finally caught her attention. I held onto her hands I could feel her shaking, I released a smile.

"I know this isn't a good time to be asking but..."

"DAMN RIGHT IT ISN'T!" she yelled panicking.

"Calm down, I won't force it on you but it just didn't feel right asking you on a text message, worst comes to worst you didn't even reply" I said. I saw her eyes shifting from looking at me to looking away from me. I know it's not the best time to ask but I needed to know something, I had to know her true feelings and by the way I see it I already know the answer but I needed to hear it from her. I shifted from sitting down to going on one knee; it's obvious now what I asked her on that text message isn't it?

"Jiyong please..." she begged. I insisted on what I want although the answer was very clear to me already.

"Will you marry me?" I asked politely. She held onto my hand and pulled me off the ground, I looked in her eyes and I could see tears forming. That wasn't even sweet enough to make someone cry, why is she about to cry? She looked straight in my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I just can't marry you" she said while shaking.

There it was the answer I have been waiting for, I just don't know why I needed to hear it but I stayed to hear it anyway. I released a smile and gestured for her to sit down. Tears streaming down her eyes, guilt written all over her face... something is definitely wrong.

"Jiyong I..." she stopped. She looked at me for a whole minute without blinking then unlocked her eyes with mine.

"I cheated on you" she continued.

"What?" I asked pretending I didn't hear what I heard.

"I'm sorry. I never should have said yes, I was a mess and you were there. You were making everything alright for me, even my heart wasn't confused when you were around. I was strong when you were by my side and I know it's unfair of me to be saying this to you now, you've always had a special place in my heart but..."

"But I can never be Taeyang. Am I right?"

She nodded her head lightly then faced me.

I saw how sorry she was about the whole thing, I want to blame her for my own mistakes but I just couldn't. I know this whole thing was my fault, I mean if I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend she would have never cheated on me and if I didn't lend her that money to go to Paris, her and Taeyang would have fixed everything in a couple of days; Taeyang didn't need to end up in a hospital... twice.

"Look at me Jen" I started.

I loved her too much to see her hurt like this; she's the girl I'm never going to have again. She looked at me with tears still flowing; I lifted my hand and slowly wiped them away. I promised to myself that I would never ever let another tear drop from those eyes but this time it was me she was crying for, it felt good yet so bad.

"Stop crying. It was not your fault we are in this road, it was mine. This heart of mine saw the things it only wanted to see. It never looked beyond the truth, it surrounded itself with lies. But now it is exposed to the truth and I guess it's breaking right now but it was never your fault, if I didn't lend you that money to go to Paris we wouldn't feel the way we are feeling right now. You wouldn't be in between Taeyang and Yoobin.

To be honest I want to blame you right now but I just can't because if I didn't ask you to be my girlfriend you wouldn't be saying you cheated on me instead you will be saying "Jiyong, I followed my heart" and it's always been with Taeyang. I would have never won against him; I want to thank you for giving this heart of mine a chance to fall in love with you. For giving it a chance to see real love, follow it, it's not out here... it's in there" I said.

I gave her a kiss on the forehead and smiled at her faintly.

"I love you Jen and this heart won't love another the way I loved you" I ended and walked away from her.

"JIYONG!" she called after me. I pulled another brave smile and tilted my head to see her.

"I'm sorry" she said. I gave her one last smirk and continued walking.

'This heart of mine will never love the same.'

Tears that I've holding onto for one year and a couple of months are now flowing like there's no tomorrow... Jen was the very first girl who has made me cry. She's the one for me, only problem is... I wasn't the one for her.