[Jen]

"Be careful" I said and she waved goodbye. I couldn't be angry at her, I just couldn't. I was guilty of cheating and even though she was too, I still can't believe I slept with an engage man. I sat back on my chair when my phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID and it was Jiyong, great another way to make me feel guilty.

I let the phone rang and rang. Do you know how much this is killing me? Do you know how much guilt I have inside of me? I should be the happiest girl alive right now but for some reason I am the most terrible and unhappy girl there is.

 The phone stopped ringing; I leaned against the back of my chair waiting for it to ring again. I wanted to stall time so that somehow I can think of something to say to him but I couldn't, I just couldn't then there it was; his name flashing on the mini screen. I took a deep breath and flipped my phone open.

{"Yoboseyo?"

"Hey beautiful, what's going on?"

"Nothing, I was talking to Yoobin, she just left not long ago. How's Japan?"

"Yoobin? What she doing there? You both didn't have a fight right? You didn't get another mark on your face right?"

"No I'm fine Jiyong... we just talked"

"Talked about what?"

"Her and Taeyang, she needed my help so I helped her"}

Okay what was I supposed to say? 'OH YEAH SHE'S GIVING ME TAEYANG BACK, YOU SHOULD JUST STAY IN JAPAN!' As if say that, that's the worst... wait not really. The worst is cheating on the sweetest guy a girl could ever ask for. Where do we stand now Jiyong? Where should we stand?

{"Okay, that's alright then as long as you're okay. So Japan is awesome, I mean it's great. I just got here not long ago and yeah busy already, what have you been up to?"

"I went JeJu Island with the group but then Taeyang and I had to head back because Yoobin came back from the U.S"

"Oh yeah I forgot that she left for the U.S. How's the baby going?"}

And with that question I froze. Should I tell him about this baby or should I wait until he comes back from Japan to tell him about it? He has the rights to know after all he is my boyfriend. I decided to keep my mouth shut about this just like I would keep my mouth shut about the other thing... Well at least until he gets back from Japan.

{"Baby's good, growing. When are you coming back home?"

"I don't know. Might take a couple months here, I'm not sure. How's life without me?"

"Could be better with you here; there so much I want to tell you right now but I just can't because you're there and I'm here. You?"

"I miss you more and more. Every second is like days without you by my side, I wish I could fly back right now and hold you in my arms again."}

Guilt.

That's what's written all over my face. Why must I be blessed with a guy like him? Why did I have to say yes when actually my heart was telling me no? Why do I have so many WHY'S but not enough because? Can someone send me an answer to help me fix something I did that could hurt this boy's true and pure heart?

Anyone?

{"Time flies"

"Yeah I guess, how are the rest of the guys and girls?"

"Yeah they're good; actually they are at JeJu Island still. Daesung and Hye Won seemed to have gotten along so well. Seungri and my sister are the same old losers/kids. Seunghyun~Oppa's waiting for Sandara~Unnie to come so I don't know if he's got a smile on his face yet."

"By yourself at home or is Taeyang with you?"

"No, I'm by myself. Taeyang's with Yoobin by now"

"Well call one of the 2PM boys to come over and stay with you for a while. Call Junsu or something, I don't want you alone in that big house okay?"

"I'm alright. I' m old enough to take care of myself and I will not bother Junsu, he's busy. I'll be fine"

"I insist that you call him"

"It's alright"

"Babe, sorry I have to go. Siyon is driving me nuts; she's going to be the death of me. See you soon, I love you Jen"

"Yeah me too"}

*Beep Beep Beep...

I couldn't even say I love you too.

. . . . .

After 15 minutes of sulking in my own misery the doorbell pulled me back to reality. I lazily got up and walked for the door. I opened it and saw Junsu and Jay with the biggest smile on their faces; Jiyong did call them.

"What's food?" Jay asked with a grin on his face while entering the house. Junsu followed and they both lay on the couch.

"We're meant to keep you company" Junsu said. I nodded my head and sat across from them.

"You guys never babysat before aye?" I teased.

"You're not a baby, Jiyong is just too protective" Junsu teased.

Overprotective you mean?

"So what will you feed us?" Jay asked again.

"Are you that hungry?"

"Yes, the managers never feed us" he said and made a sad face. Such a cutie this short little guy, you will never think he was the leader of 2PM. He was too playful and too cute to be the leader of 2PM but then again if you see him working with the boys, you'll see the passion and the leadership he have towards the boys and music; it's incredible to see a guy like him taking ownership of something so big.

"Alright I'll go cook you both food, anything in mind?"

"Not really, just cook anything. We'll help you" Jay said and quickly stood up. He walked over to me, smiled then placed his hand over my shoulder.

"KAH JAH!" he said happily and we were off to the kitchen.

= x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = = x =

[Taeyang]

"Okay that's weird she told me she was waiting here" I said to the cleaner of our dorm as I sat around the lounge room. I picked up my phone started dialled her number once again. Before I could hear a ring she entered the dorm, she gave me a faint smile then walked towards me. She sat next to me and laid her head on top of my shoulder.

"How come you're back?" I asked when I realised she wasn't going to talk.

"Can we stay quiet for a while?" she asked nicely taking me by surprise. She has never been so polite, she would always be ordering me around and her voice would always be at its highest. I sensed something wrong with her, she was quiet and she's never quiet then suddenly I heard her sobbing.

"Yoobin what's wrong?"

"Taeyang I have a question" she started, I tried lifting her chin up so I could see her face but she insisted on looking wherever she was looking.

"What?"

"Did you ever love me?"

"If I say yes then I'd be lying and if I say no I'd be lying too" I replied. It's the truth though; I did love her when I didn't know who Jen was then that love faded when my memory came back. I was ready to walk away from it all then she told me she was having a baby.

"Then why are you still with me?" she asked.

"I have a responsibility with you Yoobin, you're having my child"

"You're only staying with me because of this child?"

"Yoobin that's our kid you're talking about"

She lifted her head and faced me. She was crying like I've never seen her cry before. What I mean is, these tears are not just acting tears; they were real and I don't even know why they were falling. Suddenly I remembered my night with Jen, I wasn't as guilty as I should be and that's really bad. I have my fiancé crying right in front of me yet I don't feel bad about any of it. I must be the most horrible person alive right now, someday I will pay for this sin.

I felt Yoobin holding onto my hands, she pulled them towards her and kissed them. I felt her tears dropping on the tip of my hand, I tried releasing my hand so I could wipe her tears away but she didn't let me. She looked me in the eyes and took a deep breath.

"I love you Taeyang and I wish our relationship didn't reach this stage but its here. You've thought me so much, so much more that I thought I would learn. You showed me what true love is and how it feels to be loved by someone. I wish we were true love, I wish we were meant to be but I know no matter what I do it's never going to be us. I love you Taeyang but there's something I have to tell you" she said almost not breathing.

I looked in her eyes and I could see pain in them.

Is this her own way of breaking up with me?

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked.

"No but you will break up with me and you will hate me after this but I have to say this to you" she continued.

The silence took over us. I couldn't stop my heart from beating like crazy, I could actually pain from this break up maybe it's the baby. I just can't stand the thought of not being able to hold my child; I just can't picture in my head the future of my kid without me in the picture.

"This kid is not yours" she suddenly said.

"What do you mean not mine?"

"It's Taecyeon, he's the father"

I felt my blood boiling in anger. This is not what I was expecting her to say, I was looking for something like "You don't love me, go follow your heart and don't worry your child will understand the same as I do", something like that not this. I'm not the father.

"YOOBIN WHAT THE HELL?!" I yelled.

"Taeyang I'm so sorry, I just didn't know what else to do. I just couldn't let you go but now I can, I want you to be happy. Go be with Jen" she said trying to comfort me. If you were in my situation you wouldn't know what to do or say either. It's either you walk away or you stay and ask all these nonsense but I'm not doing neither.

"DAMN IT YOOBIN YOU LIED TO ME!" I continued to yell. Furious, is that what they describe someone who's almost losing their mind out of anger? Is that it?

"I know and I'm sorry for that but you're not the only one I lied to" she said.

"Yeah you're right about one thing, I do hate you" I said and pushed her hands away from me.

"How could you do that? Jen begged you to take me back because of that child, the child she thought was mine. Do you know how stupid she looked when she went down on her knees? Do you know how embarrassing was that for her?"

"Stupid? You call that stupid? Taeyang she went down her knees with bravery and you call her stupid? No, she wasn't embarrassed about the whole thing because she was doing it for the guy she loves. Jen knows about the baby, she knows it's not yours" she suddenly snapped.

I looked at her trying to find some sort of hint that she was lying but nothing. She was telling the truth, for once she was.

"Taeyang I'm sorry" she said pleadingly.

"You almost ruin my future with a kid that's not mine. You almost trapped me in committing eternity with you and I almost lost the love of my life and all you could say is sorry?"

"I'm sorry is all I could give you right now" she replied.

"You betrayed me, not once but twice. How could I ever forgive you?" I said angrily and turned my back around her.

I couldn't stand seeing her.

Whenever I see her it's like I'm looking at a girl I don't even know. Yes, I cheated but this is worse than cheating... She betrayed me, just like before.