[Taeyang]

"I'll be going now mum, auntie. It was nice to talk to you both again and I'm really grateful for having you both, it's like I have two mums" I said and they both smiled at me.

"Hunny, follow what your heart says. Sometimes it might not be what your mind is telling you to do but sometimes the heart sees what's invisible to the eye" Auntie said and gave me a hug.

I smiled and left.

I stood by the swing and saw two people sitting while swinging lightly back and forth, they were smiling happily while the girl lies on the guys shoulder... It was me and Jen back when the world revolves just around me and her.

I picked up my phone and dialled Jen's number.

{"Taeyang?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Not really, I think I fell asleep for like 2 seconds. What's got you calling so late at night?"

"I was just wondering, is it possible to see you tonight?"

*silence..*

"It's cool if I can't come over"

"No you surely can, come over just make sure you avoid the girls inside the house"

"Girls?"

"Donghae's girlfriend came back from Paris and now Jaellie and her are like instant best friends"

"Alright I'll be down there in 15 minutes"

"Alright I'll see you soon"}

. . . . . . . .

"Evening" I greeted when a girl I didn't recognized opened the door, I'm guessing she's Donghae's girlfriend. She smiled at me then called Jaellie over.

"Oppa what are you doing here?"

"I came to see your sister"

"She doesn't wanna see you" Donghae's girlfriend said.

"Actually I'm expecting him, now stop harassing my visitor and make way for him" Jen said and the girls stepped to the side and welcomed me in.

"If I see her cry tonight I swear you will not get out of this house in one piece" Donghae's girlfriend warned.

"Hye Won this is my best friend Taeyang, Taeyang this is Hye Won, Donghae's girlfriend" Jen introduced.

Instead of shaking hands with Hye Won, I looked at Jen. She smiled at me and headed for the backyard. She called me her best friend after everything I put her through.

"You really believed she can let go that easily aye?" Jaellie whispered in my ear then walked off. I smiled a little and followed Jen out back.

The backyard was filled with glittering white lights. There was two houses facing each other, one was a little smaller than the other. The bigger house was painted all white outside.

"Like my houses?" Jen asked as she comes out from the smaller house

"These are yours?"

"Yeah, Jaellie's mum and my mum surprised me with these. That little one over there is my dark room and this one right here is my house. This is where all the miracle happens, I store most of my artwork in there... well I did until the best friends in there re-arranged everything and now I'm re-arranging them back to the way it was" she said.

"So you live here?"

"Not really. I have a room in that house and I only sleep out here when I am not bother to go inside the house. Do you want to help me arrange my stuff again?" she asked and smiled at me.

I stared at the girl in front of me. She was smiling at me like I have never done anything wrong to her but seeing her smile all my problems waves’ goodbye to me. Seeing her smile makes all my worries go away, it makes me feel like I'm home and that smile makes me feel like I belong to no one but her.

"Is anyone there?" she teased.

"Yeah I'd love to help you" I replied. She led me to the house and as soon as I entered there were pictures all over the house. The pictures on the wall were mostly Jaellie, Hye Won, Donghae, Jiyong and Jen... none of me. I can't blame her though I chose to walk away.

"So what brings my rebellious best friend here so late at night?" she asked me while sticking more pictures onto the wall.

"Rebellious?" I asked shocked and sat on floor.

"Taeyang are you really shocked because I'm calling you rebellious or because I still call you my best friend?"

"Both actually" I replied.

She stopped what she was doing and bent down next to me. She held onto my hand and I placed my hand on top of hers. She smiled at me again and sat down next to me still holding onto my hand.

"You know I've tried. I've tried to pretend like you didn't exist and that everything you said to me that rainy night didn't actually come out from your mouth but it's not possible because it happened and you still exist. Everywhere I look Taeyang, you're still there and you're still in my heart – no matter where I look at it from you're always going to be in here" she said and placed my hand on her heart. I could hear it beating and somehow hearing it beat brought life into my life.

"You're an awesome guy Taeyang and what you did was unforgivable but you did it for me and me thank you. I know I sound like some crazy right now, since I raged at you that day and now I'm thanking you for lying to me... crazy right? But the point is I'm thankful for whatever happened to us; it made me think about the good times we both shared and how one mistake can take it all away just like that... I miss you Tae and I never stopped missing you" she continued and gave me a light peck on the cheek. She let go of my hand and continued what she was doing.

"I miss you too Jen" I replied and she just laughed.

"You haven't answered my question"

"I didn't have the chance to"

"Shall I ask again? What is my best friend doing here so late at night?" she asked.

"I'm going to be a father" I said.

Then suddenly all the pictures she was holding started dropping onto the floor. She froze for like 5 minutes and I couldn't hear anything.

= x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x = x

[Jen]

How many worlds have frozen over me already? I think another one just froze. Did I hear him right? He's going to be father?

"Jen did you hear me? I'm going to be a father" he repeated.

How can I not hear? I mean if his words were able to kill me, I would have died right at that moment. It's like heaven and earth have something against me, just when I thought everything was going to be fine something just knocks me back to the ground. I was so spaced out and I didn't realise that Taeyang was standing next to me with his face inches away from mine.

"Jen?" he called again.

I saw the worried look on his face and I didn't wanna shatter his heart.

"That's great!" I said with the biggest fake smile on my face and gave him a hug. His heart racing with the same beat as mine.

"Thanks, I didn't know you would be happy!" he said and pulled away from the hug. I smiled at him and I walked over to my bed. I sat on the edge of the bed and he followed.

"Shocked?" he asked.

Dumb question, more like paralyse.

"A little too much" I answered.

"But you're okay with it right?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Taeyang it's your kid, well not only yours" I said.

"I know she is not the best girl in the world right now but she is the mother of my child and she's going to be my wife" he answered.

Again whole world freezing, the word wife is not exactly the word that I need to make me feel like this friendship is not going to go down the rocks again.

"Okay I'm sorry. But why come to me?"

"I visited mums and they sort of gave me advice about us and about how we went through so much and we just turned our back on each other. I wanted to share this with you because you're important to me. I regret not sharing a lot of things with you and this one is something big, I'm getting married and I'm having a kid. I didn't want to take this away from you, I didn't want you to feel like you don't matter to me anymore because you still do and you never stopped mattering to me, obviously you felt the same too" he explained.

This conversation was like water and fire. Everything I say is meant to be fire but the every word he releases was like water putting out the fire in me; it's not fair because every time I'm around him everything I'm afraid of just disappears. It's like all the fire in me dies down and I don't need to be insecure and it's unfair because for some reason I wanted those insecurities to surround me, even for a little bit longer. I feel like with them around I'm stronger on my own and I didn't need Taeyang to tell me that I actually need him there.

"Jen?"

"Well the mums are right; I shouldn't miss out on these things. It's great to know you're still here and you actually exist" I said.

He held my hand, a sign to tell me he does exist. He stood up and kissed me on my forehead, the old fashion him.

"It's getting late, I should head back. I'm still here and I exist" he said and landed another kiss on my forehead.

"I'm happy to know" I replied.

Before he let go of my hand, he looked deep into my eyes and said;

"You're not the only one holding on."

With that I was left with silence and regret surrounding the room.