Chapter 37 (Part 2)

Strawberries&Cigarettes
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Headlights on me (and even if I run away)

Racing to 60, I've been a fool (and give my heart a holiday)

 

Seulgi woke up the next day with a sore cheek and a bloody headache.

She remembered gulping down a bottle of vodka but after that, all was a blur.

But then Joongi explained everything that happened which made her bury her head on the pillow to pour out her frustration of her foolishness.

Joohyun never called her after seeing her drunk which was completely understandable.

"You were a mess." Joongi had told her. "You even told her she should break up with you."

And Seulgi swore never to get drunk again.

Since the CSAT ended, Seulgi kept herself busy preparing her essay test. If she couldn't go to Seoul, the last thing she could do was go to college.

She never wanted to take that dreaded test again.

While preparing for her essay test, she tried to call Joohyun multiple times but always hung up because she was too scared of being rejected.

What was she thinking?

After all they've been through she shouldn't have ended just like that.

She became the person she most didn't want to be. And she didn't know what to do about it.

But one thing was clear, this was hurting both of them. She was hurting them both.

Seulgi felt strangely calm as if she had expected all this to happen.

She always feared her insecure side might screw everything up and boy she never felt this devastated being right.

It was clear they won't be able to live together even if they wanted to.

So that meant they had to continue this long-distance relationship for another few years.

And judging by how they went through, Seulgi couldn't ask Joohyun to endure this again and again.

Her insecure, low self-esteem always made things worse.

Her habit of keeping things to herself hadn't changed.

And obviously, her flaws were the main cause of this catastrophe.

She thought she could change.

Yes, she stupidly believed her love for her someone could actually change her.

But obviously, it didn't.

And she would rather torture herself again than become an obstacle and flaw in Joohyun's future.

What was important now was what was the future Joohyun wanted.

Today was Friday, and Seulgi decided to go to bed early thinking of the older in another area million miles away.

.

Joohyun had spent the next few days trying to not think about their end.

She spent a lot of time with Wendy after the finals were over and even went drinking with her dance club members, with Yongsun's effort, of course.

She decided not to contact the younger since she still had her essay test left and tried to spend more time to herself, but that promise kind of broke when she got very drunk in one of her gatherings.

She had stumbled outside without Yongsun noticing and dialed the number she swore never to even think about.

"...Joohyun?"

Oh, how she missed that voice so much.

"Seulgi." She slurred as she leaned on the wall for support. "Is your cheek okay?"

She asked even though she had texted and called Joongi dozens of times to make sure Seulgi's cheek was okay.

"Yeah.." The younger replied uneasily. "I'm fine. But.. Are you drunk?"

Joohyun giggled at the question, feeling alcohol taking over her.

"Of course I'm drunk, silly." She giggled again. "I tried so hard not to call you but I guess I failed!" She slumped on the floor. "I'm a failure too in that case."

There was a long pause and Joohyun almost fell asleep through the silence.

"I know I've said this so many times," Seulgi said quietly. "But I'm sorry."

"You made me upset," Joohyun said with a pout. "Why would you say something like I should break up with you?"

"I'm sorry." The younger only replied and Joohyun shook her head, not satisfied with her apology.

"I don't need sorry." Joohyun spat, waving her fist in the air. "I need a why. Why are you being like this?"

"...I think we should talk when you're not drunk." Seulgi answered.

"I'm not drunk!" Joohyun exclaimed. "I'm perfectly fine!"

"That's what drunk people always say," Seulgi said with a little chuckle. "I bet you won't even remember calling me."

But turns out Joohyun had a very good memory even when she was drunk.

So she spent the next day kicking the quilt in humiliation as she recalled her conversation with the younger.

"I love you," Joohyun remembered saying those three words and instantly felt her face heat up like the heating pad on her bed right now. "I love you so much."

So much for being mature and calm about this situation.

To get off her mind about everything, Joohyun visited the hospital more often after making sure Suho wasn't there.

The only good news was Jiyoon was slowly getting better, after her big surgery and taking her medicine periodically, the girl stayed strong throughout the whole week.

"I'm so proud of you." Joohyun had beamed as she fed the girl her soup.

Even though she was going to the hospital for volunteer work, it felt as if it was her who was receiving help.

"Unnie," Jiyoon asked when Joohyun was combing her hair. "Why don't you come to the hospital with Suho Oppa anymore?"

Joohyun stopped for a moment, trying to think of a good excuse but she didn't want to lie to the little girl.

Then she would have to explain everything that happened.

What will Jiyoon think if she told her about Seulgi?

"Jiyoon." Joohyun gulped, overwhelmed by the same feeling she had when she was about to tell Yongsun about her relationship. "Do you think a girl can love a girl?"

As Joohyun glanced at the patient room door to make sure it was tightly closed, Jiyoon pondered her question. "As in... Love? Not friendship love?"

"..Yes." Joohyun replied unsurely, dreading the girl might somehow feel offended.

But Jiyoon shook her head. "I've never seen a girl loving another girl. But... I guess it could happen."

"So what if you meet a friend who likes girls?" Joohyun asked carefully.

Jiyoon frowned and Joohyun couldn't help but smile the way the little girl's expression turned so serious. "But she's still my friend." Jiyoon finally answered. "And her liking girls doesn't change anything."

"Including me?" Joohyun asked and Jiyoon immediately turned in pure surprise.

"You like girls?"

Joohyun scratched her head. "No.. Rather.. I'm in love with a girl."

Joohyun watched the girl slowly absorb the new information and let out a sigh of relief when Jiyoon smiled.

"That's so neat!" The little girl squealed. "How did you fall in love with a girl? Is she older than you? Is she pretty like you? How old is she?"

Joohyun had to calm down the little girl from jumping up and down her bed in excitement and answered all her questions one by one.

And that ended up telling Jiyoon everything, and the little girl listened to her as if she was a storyteller telling her about all the chaotic, magical the adventures she'd experienced.

"So that's why you don't hang out with Suho Oppa anymore?" Jiyoon asked innocently. "Because he has a crush on you?"

"Yes," Joohyun replied. "And I'm still.. mad at him for making Seulgi so insecure."

"Is she okay?" Jiyoon asked, holding her teddy bear and Joohyun gave her a sad smile. "I don't know," Joohyun said softly. "I wish she is."

"So she can't go to Seoul with you?" Jiyoon asked, hugging her teddy bear.

"I believe so," Joohyun replied with a bitter smile.

"And you can only see her on weekends?"

"I guess so," Joohyun answered flatly. "But I'm not sure if she wants to."

Jiyoon tilted her head, slightly open. "Why?"

"She told me.." Joohyun bit her lip, reminding herself she couldn't cry in front of a little girl. "She told me she won't blame me if I broke up with her. That I should break up with her."

Jiyoon's brow furrowed and hugged the teddy bear even tighter. "Why? She loves you, doesn't she?"

"I don't know," Joohyun said with a barely audible whisper. "I don't know if she does, Jiyoon."

"She loves you."

Joohyun met the little girl's eyes filled with certainty. Joohyun made a small smile.

"Really?"

Jiyoon nodded firmly. "I think you just lacked time to show her how you feel. So Seulgi unnie became insecure and desperate when she was also having a hard time with her studies." Joohyun could only stare at the girl in awe, surprised by how logical her statement was.

"You've been busy with your medical study and tests, right?" Jiyoon asked. "I heard from Suho Oppa all medical students have lots of tests and assignments so you've probably had much less time to spend with Seu

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MeloMera
I don't have a twitter account anymore but thankfully I saw a pleasant surprise today when I went back to my account for the last time :)
Thank you @dinniebur for liking this fic so much! I'm very happy&grateful that you enjoyed it :) your reactions about each chapter made my day haha

Comments

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hollyhunterey
#1
One of the best.. Thank you very much 💕
Kylie_123 #2
Rereading !!! Kasi gusto ko kiligin ulit 💗💗💗
Jensoo4everlove #3
Chapter 59: I LOVED THIS SO SO MUCH 😭❤ And thankyou so so much Author for taking out time to write such a masterpiece!!! I really appreciate it!! But why can't I see the sequel? 🥺
sjaelister
#4
I just want to ask if this is the original version because I read this but it's the Ryeji version on wattpad huhuhu.
AnneTokki 34 streak #5
Chapter 59: 💓💓💓💛💛💛🫶
Revemid12
#6
Reading this masterpiece for the third time, is my comfort fic, let’s goo!
Oct_13_wen_03 26 streak #7
Chapter 49: reread❤❤
serenedipitea
#8
Chapter 20: this chapter made me cry. the angst!!!
Seul_rene14 #9
Chapter 59: Am I the only one who won't get to read the sequel?🥺😭
gcpt21 #10
Chapter 49: This fic is so beautiful thank you so much author ily