With that sugar and smoke rings

With Seulgi barely texting her, Joohyun felt her soul slowly seeping out her lungs, making her a lifeless doll moving only because of her tight schedule.

College . Joohyun thought as she rubbed her tired eyes and just when she was about to stand up to get an energy drink from the vendor machine, she stopped.

What she needed wasn't an energy drink.

After that day, Joohyun wanted to call Seulgi so bad she had spent hours staring at her phone, wondering if she should follow her desires or be sober this time.

'FOR GOD SAKE!' Even Wendy, who rarely got irritated, threw up her hands and huffed out a sigh. 'She's your girlfriend, Joohyun! Of course, she would love it when you unexpectedly called!'

So when she texted Yerim just in case, the Squirtle told her Seulgi's condition was getting worse.

'She's becoming like this lifeless ghost wandering around the school.' The Squirtle protested. 'It's driving me nuts. Ever since that counsel with our teacher she keeps moping about not being able to go to Seoul and not knowing what major she wanted.'

It was killing her she couldn't be there by her side when the younger apparently needed her. Wendy assured her that she can't always be there for her girlfriend since Joohyun was also going through the same thing. But still, she wished there was a way to at least cheer her up.

She thought about paying her a surprise visit and take her to see the cherry blossoms. Maybe just a short walk around will cheer her up.

Joohyun drowned into her own thoughts about the surprise when Suho suddenly stood up, packing his bags.

"Where are you going?" Joohyun asked. It was only one in the afternoon.

"To the hospital." He answered and smirked. "Aw, are you concerned about me?"

Joohyun ignored his comment and gave him a judging look. "You don't look sick."

"Well, what if I am? Will you worry about me?"

"Goodbye, Suho."

"I'm going to the hospital for volunteer work," Suho said as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. Joohyun frowned. There was only a week left for their midterms and he was going to the hospital for volunteer work?

"There's only a week left and you're going for volunteer work?"

Suho shrugged as he put on his coat. "That's the only thing that makes me stay here and not drop out." He was about to say goodbye but stopped and stared at the girl behind him. Joohyun shot him a suspicious glare.

"What?"

"Here's a crazy thought." He turned to Joohyun who had no idea what he was thinking. "Why don't you come with me?"

Joohyun rolled her eyes and pushed her glasses up to her nose. "Didn't I just tell you I can murder someone right now?"

"Come on," He flashed his dazzling smile that swooned a lot of girls but Joohyun wasn't a little bit amused. "It'll be fun. You like kids, right?"

"Maybe another time." Joohyun declined. "I need to finish this first."

"Live a little, Bae Joohyun."

That line made her look up from her laptop and she felt tears welling up inside.

She never cried because she missed Seulgi. Well, not since the first few months in Seoul in her freshman year, But hearing those familiar words coming from another person made her choke up, realizing she missed the younger even though it's been a year since they parted.

"I am living." She said, her jaw clenched. "And I said, maybe another time."

"But today is a special day!"

Joohyun put down her glasses and rubbed her eyes. He wasn't going to give up, was he?

"Why is that?"

"I'm planning a surprise party for a kid named Jiyoon." He said excitedly. "And since she's a girl, I really could use some advice from a girl."

"Then ask Yongsun." Joohyun replied simply, though she felt a little tempted. She loved kids.

Suho snickered. "She's stuck in the training room right now because she can't memorize the choreography."

"Then ask some another girl. I'm sure lots of girls are dying to go out with the famous Kim Jun-myeon."

The boy sheepishly smiled. "I'm not that popular. You guys are the only friends I have."

Joohyun snorted. "You're kidding, right? Tons of girls asked me if I had any interest in you just to make sure you're single!"

"What can I say, I'm lovable!" He dramatically opened his arms which reminded the other girl so much of the person she missed so much right now.

He was acting so much like the male version of her girlfriend it made her a little uneasy, even intimidated.

"Fine." Joohyun closed her laptop with a sigh as she picked up her coat. "But you're going to buy dinner for me after this."

Suho grinned, looking too excited. "Of course."

“Gee, you really don't know a thing about woman, do you?"

Suho scratched his head and sheepishly grinned. "You really are a life savior."

"I know," Joohyun replied as she picked up a puppy doll. "Since she likes dogs this should do."

Suho picked up a red clown nose toy. "Ever heard of Patch Adams?"

The oblivious girl blinked. "What now?"

Suho let out an exasperated sigh. "You're a medical school student!"

"So?" Joohyun argued. "What does that have to do with this?"

"Tell me the truth." Suho stared hard at the girl as he leaned forward, making her step back. "Do you really want to be a doctor?"

Joohyun instantly felt guilty at that question. "I don't know.." She replied weakly. If Seulgi was here, she would have told her that it didn't matter. But apparently, it did to Suho.

"You should definitely see the movie called Patch Adams." He strongly suggested. "We should see it together."

"With Yongsun." Joohyun quickly added and Suho nodded. "Yeah, but I doubt she would be interested."

"Do you want to be a doctor?" Joohyun asked curiously. Suho squeezed the red clown nose which squeaked making the girl jump.

"Yeah. After I saw Patch Adams that was when my dream became a doctor."

"Okay.. Go on." Joohyun encouraged.

"He was a patient at the asylum, and he realized laughter can cure patients. So he founded a free clinic for patients."

"...Wow." Joohyun marveled, lost for words.

"I know, right?" The boy excitedly said. "He said, 'A doctor's duty is not to obstruct death, but to improve quality of life.'. That was when I decided I wanted to be a doctor."

He embedded the clown nose on his nose and grinned. "I'm going to be the next Patch Adams."

Joohyun smiled, feeling all warm inside. She felt something flicker inside her.

A doctor's duty is to improve the quality of life.

Maybe doctor did suit her.

"You should definitely go with that look," Joohyun said playfully as she picked up a pack of balloons. "You'll be popular in no time."

Suho shrugged. "I'm already popular enough."

"I highly doubt that."

"Gee. It's nice to have a friend who likes to shoot me down."

"It's my pleasure." Joohyun sarcastically replied and Suho grinned as he watched the girl walk away.

"You sure are something, Bae Joohyun."

Joohyun had to admit, she loved kids.

But that didn't mean she was good with them.

"Calm down!" Suho shouted as another kid tackled him, almost knocking them both out. "Why are you all excited today?"

"Who is she?" A little girl asked as she pointed at her. Joohyun gulped. "Um... I'm Joo-"

"Is she your girlfriend, Suho?" The little girl said with a frown. Before Suho could answer, Joohyun knelt as she frantically shook her head.

"I'm not his girlfriend." She said without even a little hesitation. "I already have a lover."

That seemed to please the girl a lot. "That's good." She said with a nod, Joohyun internally smiled at the little girl's adorable pout. "Suho is mine."

"Of course." Joohyun nodded and Suho cleared his throat. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"It's a man's duty to please his woman, right?" Joohyun said with a wink and a little girl giggled.

"I'm Jiyoon!" She introduced herself. "And you are?"

"Oh, so you're Jiyoon!" Joohyun said gleefully. "Happy birthday! I'm Joohyun. You can call me Joohyun unnie."

"Okay, Joohyun unnie. Would you like to see my doll?"

Joohyun sent a silent signal to Suho, and he nodded. "I'll handle it." He said reassuringly and Joohyun let the girl drag her to her patient room.

Seeing the little girl wearing her pink patient clothing made Joohyun feel many things. Suho explained she was diagnosed with leukemia. The girl had to suffer from surgery and shots at such a young age.

'I want this to be perfect.' He had said with a tinge of sadness in his voice. 'Since this may be the last birthday she'll celebrate. We'll never know.'.

Joohyun learned that doctors don't exactly know what was the cause of leukemia. And she had just accepted that as a fact, a fact that will be included in her test.

But seeing the girl who was actually experiencing it made her feel like it was more than just a fact. It was a tragedy. A problem she wanted to solve so much at this moment.

Now she understood why Suho said this was his motivation. Suddenly medical studies seemed essential for her. Her passion to become a doctor growing stronger by the minute.

She should definitely tell Seulgi about this. And Joohyun wondered if she could ever be a motivation for the younger. Maybe she should ask the younger to show her drawings. Seulgi would spend hours sketching while she was doing her assignment. That wasn't something any people did.

"This is Mr. Teddy!" Jiyoon said cheerfully as she handed the doll to the older. "He always hugs me when I'm sick and sad."

Joohyun smiled as she carefully took the bear. "He must be very important to you."

Jiyoon nodded and smiled widely, showing her one missing teeth which was just adorable. "He c