Chapter 40 (Part 1)

Strawberries&Cigarettes
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

Blue eyes, black jeans(You always leave me wanting more)

 

After visiting Joohyun's middle school, and crying their eyes out together, Joohyun took her home in the afternoon.

To the third eye, it would be very amusing to see two women with puffy red eyes just standing still, not even being able to look at each other.

It all happened too fast. Too sudden. And Seulgi didn't know how to respond to Joohyun's answer.

The older seemed to notice that as she eyed Seulgi shifting uneasily, almost having a nervous breakdown.

"Take your time." Joohyun gently took her hand, soothingly rubbing her knuckles.

"I'm good at waiting."

So Seulgi thanked her for the ride, and she watched the car leave when she entered the house.

She became filled with thousands of thoughts and sentiments she thought she had experienced before but apparently, she hadn't experienced the worst.

Being stuck inside her room won't help, she was sure. So she decided to take a walk.

Then she remembered her promise the other day.

'If you get drunk,' Miss Kim had warned her. 'You're going to come to work. For free.'

Seulgi knew Miss Kim was joking, but she needed some advice. And working for three hours didn't sound that bad since she had nothing else to do.

So she jogged all the way to the restaurant and thanked her instincts for wearing her black jeans, her usual work clothes.

It was only 5 pm but the restaurant was crowded with customers. Moonbyul, who looked like she was almost about to faint, greeted her in surprise. "What brings you here?" The older asked with a grin and Seulgi sheepishly shrugged. "I figured you might need some help."

Miss Kim greeted her with a knowing smirk and gestured to the staff room to get ready.

Seulgi never thought there would come a day when wearing an apron could be this fun.

Work was hectic, she made mistakes, there were still rude customers but Seulgi wasn't affected by those factors anymore.

It was enough that there was a friend working by her side, and some customers who thanked her for the food, and she was trying her best.

She may never have the ability to change the events in her life,

but she could always choose what to keep and what to forget.

And Seulgi wondered if it goes the same thing for love.

Thanks to the busy work, three hours felt like thirty minutes when they finished.

Miss Kim patted her back. "You sure know how to show up at the right time."

Seulgi grinned back at the owner. "Then I'll be waiting for my payment, boss."

"Hey! I thought we made a deal!" Miss Kim complained which was oddly an adorable sight since the owner was wearing her casual clothes, she looked almost the same age as her. "Moonbyul still has muscle cramps for dragging you back home when you were blabbering nonsense!"

Seulgi gave the other girl an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about that."

Moonbyul chuckled. "Then I guess I have the right to pester you?"

"Sure." Seulgi said after a little hesitation, "Call me if there's anything you need."

"Deal."

"Fine," Taeyeon grumbled. "I'll pay you tomorrow. Since I have a date with Tiffany today."

"How's Miss Hwang?" Seulgi asked, eyes lighting up after hearing a familiar name.

"Good. Never better." Taeyeon replied as she nodded. "But she misses you."

"Really?"

"More like she misses seeing you knocking out the books and you cursing to yourself," Taeyeon smirked. "She even told me you weren't even that good at swearing."

"As expected from Miss Hwang." Seulgi griped as she sat down on one of the chairs.

"I'll be off now," Moonbyul said as she waved goodbye. "I need to come back tomorrow so.. I want to get out of this place as soon as I could."

"Sure, sure. Seulgi will stay here a little bit more so why don't you go ahead?" Miss Kim said and Moonbyul left after saying goodbye to the bear.

"How did you know I wanted to talk to you?" Seulgi said, very appalled. "Are you a mind-reader?"

Taeyeon chuckled as she sat down on another chair, facing the teenage girl.

"Well, you kept glancing at me from time to time, as if you were afraid I might be gone with a puff of smoke. And I highly doubt you would come just to work here without a reason."

Seulgi scratched her head. "I did enjoy working here, though."

Taeyeon put down her bag beside her as she laughed. "Of course you would." She crossed her arms. "So, tell me what happened with you and Joohyun."

It was easy talking to Miss Kim. Maybe it was because they had similar relationship problems. Maybe it was because Miss Kim was surprisingly a good listener.

Taeyeon nodded in encouragement and didn't look even a little tired.

"So she's waiting for your answer?" Miss Kim spoke up when Seulgi's story ended.

"Why didn't you give her an answer? It's a definite yes for you, isn't it?"

Seulgi cracked her knuckles but stopped knowing a particular person hated that habit. "I don't know." She mumbled. "I guess I wasn't certain."

"May I ask why?" Miss Kim asked gently, knowing Seulgi was also frustrated at herself.

"Because I made her depressed."

Taeyeon raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

"Suho.." Seulgi grimaced. Even saying his name was painful. "Told me she never looked more lifeless and miserable after our fight."

"You don't know the difference, Seulgi." Taeyeon shook her head. "Yes, you made her depressed. Maybe that's true. But does that mean she doesn't love you anymore? Does that mean she wants to let go?"

Seulgi bit her lip. "No.."

"She was depressed not because of you."

Taeyeon stopped her when the girl opened to argue.

"Because she cared about you." Taeyeon tilted her head then shook her head, not satisfied with her line. "No, care is an understatement."

She lifted her finger and pointed at the girl in front of her. "Because she loves you."

Taeyeon smiled in amusement when Seulgi frowned, drowning into her thoughts.

"And let's face it. You leaving her won't help at all."

"I thought maybe that could change," Seulgi mumbled, looking down in shame. "Suho said so confidently that he could do better."

Taeyeon clicked her tongue in pity. "Why are you being so hard on yourself, Seulgi?"

"Because I always seem to make people miserable," Seulgi said candidly. "My mother was depressed because I was born, knowing things will get complicated if she wanted a divorce."

She never told this to anyone. Even Joohyun. But these days she seemed to get better at spilling.

"I keep things to myself making my ex-friends get frustrated and eventually leave me."

And that happened three times. Once a year, like an anniversary.

At that time, Seulgi felt everything was wrong with her, which led to her thinking her existence was wrong.

"Then for the first time, I made someone happy."

She never felt more proud of herself when Joohyun looked so joyful at the cherry blossom festival, and she felt for the first time, she did something right.

"But I ruined it again." Seulgi heaved heavily. "I know everyone deserves a happy ending." She looked at the window, noticing how it already got dark. "But I don't know if I'm one of them."

Taeyeon stared at the girl, frustrated but fascinated by her way of thinking.

It reminded her so much of her younger days Taeyeon almost thought she was traveling through time.

"You don't decide whether you deserve it or not." The restaurant owner answered after a long pause. "You have to earn it."

"Earn?" Seulgi creased her brow at the answer. "Like.. fight for it?"

"There's a saying, a man is born to love a woman. And a woman is born to love a man." Taeyeon said as she recalled her younger days. "And that is fate. For me, that was the cruelest thing anyone could say to me."

And she heard that from her parents.

"I was young. I believed fate was everything. That the world somehow had a mysterious way to make people meet and part."

Seulgi nodded, admitting she thought so too.

"But if that saying is right, then it is also right I can't, and don't love Tiffany."

That made sense. But it didn't make sense at all.

"I was devastated. Me loving someone was going to change my whole philosophy about life."

Seulgi couldn't imagine how much Miss Kim had gone through all these years. She realized she could see every emotion in the restaurant owner's eyes as if she had lived more than her age.

"I became insecure about my feelings. I lost trust in Tiffany because I figured she would eventually marry a man." She laughed half-heartedly at the memory of their constant fight, scarring each other even when they knew they wanted to the exact opposite.

"But then I realized nobody really knows if what is fate and what isn't."

Taeyeon realized after their huge fight, on the verge of breaking up, she herself was torturing them for nothing.

"And I thought to myself, 'Screw it. Then I'm going to choose what's my fate and what's right in this world.'."

Seulgi was lost for words, feeling Miss Kim's answer somehow majestic and gratifying at the same t

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
MeloMera
I don't have a twitter account anymore but thankfully I saw a pleasant surprise today when I went back to my account for the last time :)
Thank you @dinniebur for liking this fic so much! I'm very happy&grateful that you enjoyed it :) your reactions about each chapter made my day haha

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
hollyhunterey
#1
One of the best.. Thank you very much 💕
Kylie_123 #2
Rereading !!! Kasi gusto ko kiligin ulit 💗💗💗
Jensoo4everlove #3
Chapter 59: I LOVED THIS SO SO MUCH 😭❤ And thankyou so so much Author for taking out time to write such a masterpiece!!! I really appreciate it!! But why can't I see the sequel? 🥺
sjaelister
#4
I just want to ask if this is the original version because I read this but it's the Ryeji version on wattpad huhuhu.
AnneTokki 34 streak #5
Chapter 59: 💓💓💓💛💛💛🫶
Revemid12
#6
Reading this masterpiece for the third time, is my comfort fic, let’s goo!
Oct_13_wen_03 26 streak #7
Chapter 49: reread❤❤
serenedipitea
#8
Chapter 20: this chapter made me cry. the angst!!!
Seul_rene14 #9
Chapter 59: Am I the only one who won't get to read the sequel?🥺😭
gcpt21 #10
Chapter 49: This fic is so beautiful thank you so much author ily