Chapter 12 (Part 1)

Strawberries&Cigarettes
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Like that night in the back of the cab

When your fingers walked in my hand

 

Working part time felt like working 24 hours everyday, even though she only work on Fridays and weekends for 3 hours.

Seulgi was starting to think she wasn't a teenager who has the obligation to go to school.

And people always seemed to know how to piss her off.

Seulgi's day was ruined thanks to some man who treated her like a child.

The old man demanded her to give them more wine and even ordered her with the wave of his hand to bring them a pen and a piece of paper despite them being in a restaurant where you eat food, not discuss about their fortunes.

Seulgi never wanted to despise anyone because she knew it was a waste of her energy, but going through all that made her think twice.

She was a person too, and she too has likes and dislikes like any people.

And Seulgi disliked no, hated people who never respected others unless they are above them.

They think they are better because they are older, or have more money, and so on.

It made her despise more about people.

But still, it was a relief to know all people weren't like that.

When Joohyun noticed how exhausted she looked because of her work, she started to show up at their restaurant before their closing time. Waving her favorite chocolate drink in the air with a smile enough to push  adrenaline in her body almost making her jittery.

"Sugar helps." She always said with a smile, handing the baffled girl her drink.

Not that she minded, of course but Seulgi started to feel Joohyun was getting more attached to her.

She wanted to ask why it became a routine for her to show up at her work place but she was too afraid to ask.

She was afraid her answer won't be what she was hoping for.

They would walk very slowly back home(because Seulgi's condition is at its worst) and Joohyun would quietly listen to Seulgi's ranting about how rude the customers are or how hard it is to run around with a heavy cart for hours.

Joohyun doesn't say much about it but instead gently holds her hand and rubs her knuckles with her thumb to soothe her.

And it surprisingly did. She always shivered when the older girl rubbed her knuckles so softly, as if she was thanking her hands for their hard work.

One time when the restaurant was so hectic Seulgi broke on of the plates and almost injured one of the customers. She cried with guilt and Joohyun had to say that it was okay multiple times until the younger girl finally stopped sobbing, and the older girl frantically rolled her eyes to see if the younger girl was hurt because of the broken plate.

"How can a person be perfect for whole 3 hours three days straight?"

The crying bear sniffed and said,

"You manage to pull it off 24 hours everyday."

And the conversation ended with a smack on her arm.

Sometimes it scared her. She wasn't the only one who's having a hard time and it felt like she was being to whiny.

So one day, when she was about to tell her about a man who judged her as 'a kid who doesn't have enough brain to go to college', she shut to stop. Eyes ashamed with guilt.

"I'm protesting too much." She mumbled. "Sorry."

"I'm here to listen." Joohyun reassured her. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

"But it feels like I'm giving all my negatives emotions to you."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." The younger girl insisted. "I don't ask anything about you lately. It feels wrong."

Joohyun didn't know what to say about that.

It was true Seulgi was talking a lot these days but it didn't really bother her.

She was actually glad the younger girl was protesting because it felt like she was opening up to her, trusting her to listen and understand.

Even though she did have stress of her own.

Her parents were not that happy about her score despite the truth she did her best.

'If only you got one more problem right.' Mrs. Bae had said, clicking her tongue with regret written all over her face.

'Maybe next time.'

Joohyun had felt so upset she glared at her mother who turned away to call her friend about her score. She will probably say she was proud but also determined to make her daughter work even harder.

It made the girl think she will never be good enough for her parents.

She couldn't help but think how miserable her life would be.

Pleasing her parents had always been her goal.

But now, she wasn't so sure.

They would always tell her since they were more experienced, she needed to follow their rules and keep on going.

However, Joohyun became to doubt about that a lot these days.

Just because they had more experience, didn't mean they were always right.

Because she herself judges whether it's wrong or right.

She wanted to shout that she was going to do whatever she wants and she was hell proud of her score but her courage always vanished into thin air whenever she opened .

"Joohyun? Joohyun Bae?"

"You know,"

Joohyun turned to the younger girl and gave her a smile that made Seulgi gulp trying not to get swayed by how beautiful she looked right now.

"I always shared my problems with you for months. Even the most trivial things. And I think now it's time for the tables to turn, don't you think?"

The bear's eyes slowly turned crescent which was one of the many things Joohyun found endearing about the younger girl.

"Yeah."

But Seulgi being Seulgi, she had placed her hand on hers with a little hesitation and said,

"I'll try. I promise. But I'll beat myself up forever if I ever pressure you. So please tell me when I cross the line."

Joohyun almost shook her head thinking, 'Typical Seulgi Kang'.

But that was also one of the many things she found endearing about Seulgi Kang.

.

Weeks passed and May was almost ending, leaving only the finals before their summer vacation.

Seulgi felt pressure rising up since she wasn't satisfied with her midterms, so she needed to do her whole best for the finals.

She really wanted to attend the same college as Joohyun, and Joohyun being Joohyun, she was aiming for the best university in Seoul leaving Seulgi more frustrated.

Unlike Joohyun, Seulgi was quite slow when it comes to learning so she had to use her break time to catch up her lessons even the ones she learned right before break time.

Yerim often got upset by it but seeing her friend's desperate face, she didn't have the heart to protest.

So she would often visit the older girls' classroom to chat with Joy and tease Wendy about her never having a boyfriend. Joohyun would give her a hopeful look asking a silent question but ended up pouting in disappointment when Yerim shook her head sending her the message a certain bear wasn't going to show up.

She would glance longingly at the note Seulgi gave it to her after she tried to avoid her and read it all over again, grinning unconsciously as she fiddled the note and folding it for the hundreth time.

Making the piece of paper almost ragged because of the constant touch.

"I feel like seeing live action of 'Romeo and Juliet'." Joy muttered as Yerim pretended to gag.

"You sure they're not a thing already?" Wendy asked and Yerim scoffed and shook her head.

"Believe me. They are both idiots."

 

Meanwhile, Seulgi was almost in the verge of bursting into flames when she got the same problem wrong for the fifth time.

She groaned and almost had the urge to throw her notebook to the ground and snap her pencil in half but instead, plucked out her earphones and sighed.

She decided to take a minute break but soon regretted it when she heard whispers haunting her from behind.

"Guess our class's best student is stressed."

It was a mocking voice that sent shivers in her spine, making her freeze at her seat.

"Who does she think she is?"

'I was so miserable because of you.'

"She's friends with Joohyun sunbaenim and Seungwan sunbaenim. I bet she's studying because she wants to get the spotlight along with them."

'I'm sick of being your friend.'

Seulgi felt her heart stop beating as their words stabbed her hard multiple times.

Seulgi knew misunderstandings happened when she did something wrong.

But now she realized they could happen even when she didn't do anything wrong,

and she couldn't help but think her entire existence was wrong.

Her hands started to shake as she balled them into fists, trying to calm down her heart that also started to beat rapidly with fear.

She was scared. She was hurt.

And she didn't know what to do.

There's a saying that you can't be loved by everyone. And Seulgi understood.

But does there have to be someone who hates your guts?

She wanted to bravely turn around and tell them that this was all just a misunderstanding but she stupidly remained frozen.

She felt her lungs slowly suffocating her, making her voice mute.

All the haunting memories of her worst days seemed to fade before but they sprang back into life as if they never healed in the first place.

It hurt her enough to choke back a sob.

She was afraid all her classmates might end up hating her too.

Maybe even Yerim.

Maybe even Wendy and Joy.

Maybe, even Joohyun.

 

She bit her lips and looked down, trying desperately not to fall into the pit she dug a long time ago.

But it was no use. She was already hurt.

She remembered how she shattered when she read the letters her ex-friends gave to her, not even talking but writing all their complaints about her making her a convict they hoped to get rid of.

She remembered how the others treated like she didn't belong here, with their thick expression and tight, distant smiles.

She remembered how a friend betrayed her when she told everything that happened. Telling the others she was spreading words about their conflict.

But all Seulgi wanted was an answer.

An answer about why this was happening to her.

And what she could do to get out of this hell.

But instead of getting her answer, she managed to make the situation even worse.

She desperately needed someone but it seemed the world hated her too much to grant her wishes.

Her parents' fights became wors

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MeloMera
I don't have a twitter account anymore but thankfully I saw a pleasant surprise today when I went back to my account for the last time :)
Thank you @dinniebur for liking this fic so much! I'm very happy&grateful that you enjoyed it :) your reactions about each chapter made my day haha

Comments

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hollyhunterey
#1
One of the best.. Thank you very much 💕
Kylie_123 #2
Rereading !!! Kasi gusto ko kiligin ulit 💗💗💗
Jensoo4everlove #3
Chapter 59: I LOVED THIS SO SO MUCH 😭❤ And thankyou so so much Author for taking out time to write such a masterpiece!!! I really appreciate it!! But why can't I see the sequel? 🥺
sjaelister
#4
I just want to ask if this is the original version because I read this but it's the Ryeji version on wattpad huhuhu.
AnneTokki 34 streak #5
Chapter 59: 💓💓💓💛💛💛🫶
Revemid12
#6
Reading this masterpiece for the third time, is my comfort fic, let’s goo!
Oct_13_wen_03 26 streak #7
Chapter 49: reread❤❤
serenedipitea
#8
Chapter 20: this chapter made me cry. the angst!!!
Seul_rene14 #9
Chapter 59: Am I the only one who won't get to read the sequel?🥺😭
gcpt21 #10
Chapter 49: This fic is so beautiful thank you so much author ily