Long nights, daydreams

Sugar and smoke rings, I've been a fool

But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you

Everything changed after that.

The two girls never walked to school together as if they made a silent agreement they will avoid each other from now on.

But actually, Joohyun was too ashamed to see the younger girl.

And Seulgi was too heartbroken to bear her existence.

Joohyun barely visited the school library anymore and at lunch time, Seulgi's seat always stayed vacant.

Seulgi pretended to be okay with her innocent smile that didn't make her eyes crescent.

Joohyun stopped showing up at Seulgi's restaurant which made her nights last longer.

And like she always said, nights seemed longer without Seulgi in her life.

The three friends pretended to be oblivious of their situation but Yerim got upset by Seulgi's constant absence at lunch time.

"That bear is getting thinner everyday! And I can't bear it!"

So they made an agreement to eat separately for now.

Wendy would often throw a meaningful glance at her friend but Joohyun stayed quiet, avoiding her problems was one of her bad habits and truthfully, they hated it.

The cold war continued for a week and it was Friday.

There were only five days left for their summer vacation.

And Joy was getting frustrated every minute.

She had her summer vacation all planned out.

The five of them going to the amusement park, savoring all the food at Seulgi's restaurant(and hopefully for free), and even crashing Yerim's house for a sleepover.

And now all that was ruined because that stupid bunny wouldn't spill.

Whenever Joy decided to talk no, threaten the bunny to tell them everything, Wendy stopped her, trying to convince that their friend needed time to get over it.

But this was getting too much.

It agonized her to see her two friends apart when they should have been together months ago.

As a friend who had to wait five whole years for her two best friends to reconcile, her patience was running out.

And when Wendy finally agreed they should ask Joohyun what the hell happened, she stormed toward Joohyun's seat and dragged her to the school's garden, where no one could ever see or hear them.

She pushed Joohyun to sit on the bench and put both her hands on her hips with a demanding face. And she glared at Wendy who was mirroring that same posture.

"Okay, Joohyun." She started and Joohyun swore she saw her nostrils flare.

"I know. WE know you're going through a hard time but we've given you enough time to keep it to yourself. First Wendy and now Seulgi. I really can't take it any longer. So now tell us. What happened between you and Seulgi?"

Joohyun was never the kind of person who talked about her problems.

And she knew her two childhood friends hated that.

"Please, Joohyun." Wendy pleaded. "We want to know. We have to know because it's killing us too."

Knowing her weakness of never wanting to hurt her friends, Joohyun finally gave in.

She told them everything. How they met, how they got close, Seulgi's confession, and their first kiss. And her parents.

And when she finally finished, Wendy seemed astounded and Joy started to count something with her fingers but gave up.

"Wow. I lost count of how many times you could have kissed her."

Joohyun scoffed.

"Will you please take this seriously?"

"I am taking this VERY seriously, thank you very much." Joy answered sarcastically.

"And why did you give up? You're obviously regretting this."

"I thought it was right to let her go like that. Quick and painless."

"More like quick and painful." Joy muttered but Wendy elbowed her friend to shut up.

"I didn't want her to get hurt more than she already did."

Joohyun looked away, realizing how stupid she was for thinking that way.

"But I regret that now. I should have done my best. My best."

She covered her face with her hands and let out a heavy sigh.

"I should have sobbed and said I loved her but I couldn't because I was so afraid."

"What are you afraid of?" Wendy asked carefully.

"That we'll might not be together someday."

The two friends looked at each other. And they both knew they were thinking the same thing. 

Typical Bae Joohyun.

"I didn't want to lose her."

"Well, judging by your current situation, you'll lose her either way."

"I know." Joohyun admitted. "I was a fool to think nothing will change after that."

"It's not too late to fix this, Bae." Joy encouraged her as she crouched down to take her hand.

And when she saw Joohyun's face on the verge of crying, she wished there was something she could do for her friend.

"I broke her heart, Sooyoung."

Joy wanted to convince her she didn't but that would be a lie.

"I'm the one who wished for all gods in the world to stop hurting her and yet I'm the one wh broke her."

"Yours was broken too, Joohyun." Wendy tried to soothe her. "It's not your fault. Like Seulgi said."

"But still that doesnt mean I can break hers."

She sniffed and blinked, trying to get rid of her tears.

"I was afraid my parents might be right. That all my feelings are these.. immature, temporary fling. I didn't want to fail and listen to them say 'I told you so.'."

"For god sake Joohyun!" Joy grabbed Joohyun's shoulders and looked straight into her eyes.

"Your feelings may be temporary. But that's why you should never ignore them."

Her grip hardened but not in a painful way.

"Same thing about living, right? You know you can't live forever so you have to live your life at its fullest and cherish it."

Sooyoung's eyes softened.

"They're the same formula, Joohyun."

She let go of her shoulders but gave her the best 'Sooyoung's stern look' she could muster.

"Don't underestimate your feelings. Ever."

"But-"

"Your parents may think they're right." Joy cut her off.

"But are they right in your category of right? Because it's your life. And you get to choose what's right and wrong."

"I don't know."

"It's not that hard, Joohyun." Wendy intervened. "If you feel happy about it, it's right. But if it's the opposite, it's wrong."

That simple?

"Then no." Joohyun mumbled softly. "They're wrong."

"Say it louder." Wendy urged.

"They're wrong."

"Louder!" Joy raised her voice.

"THEY'RE WRONG!" Joohyun felt tears running through her cheek. God she was crying a lot these days. Because she was making all the wrong decision that broke her. 

The wrong decision that broke them apart.

"Joohyun." Joy said calmly. "How do you feel when you're with Seulgi?"

Joohyun's lips quivered, all full of emotions she can't express with her knowledge.

"I...  I feel..."

She was used to everything in her life.

Same room. Same house. Same parents. Same class.

But Seulgi made all that familiar.

"I feel like a fish out of a water."

"Sweetie." Joy held her hand and brought it to her chest and Joohyun felt her own heart beating.

"You love her."

.

"Her shift ended early because she burnt her hand." Taeyeon explained and she eyed the worried girl. "And her friend Jisoo left with her. Didn't she tell you?"

"I..." Joohyun's words faltered. And Taeyeon smiled knowingly.

"Tiffany told me she gave you a very helpful advice. I guess that didn't work?"

The woman in front of her was actually a total stranger to her, but she looked down in shame.

"I broke her heart."

Taeyeon raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" The girl looked like a lost puppy. "May I ask why?"

"Becuase I thought that was right." Joohyun sighed. She was getting tired of explaining her reasons. "I was afraid it might be a mistake. And in my life, mistake is something my parents will never accept."

"Did they actually tell you that?"

"Yes. My father even said I have to go through it alone if I disobeyed him."

"No offense to you, but what kind of parent is he?"

"A very... strict one."

Since the whole restaurant was empty, Taeyeon gestured Joohyun to sit on one of the chairs and sat the opposite side, facing her.

"If it helps, I lived all this time without my parents."

"How?"

Taeyeon shrugged. "I just did it. I was of course scared. I thought I could never go through it on my own because I didn't know anything about the world."

"But you just did it?"

The woman looked down, admiring her gold name tag and nodded.

"I did whatever I could. I'm positive I did almost any job I could get after I graduated college. And now, I'm here. The owner of my own restaurant with a beautiful girlfriend."

Taeyeon smiled when she noticed Joohyun's doubting expression.

"I know, I know. You may think I was lucky. But I wasn't. When you're surrounded in your parents' protection, you can't help but think there will be no other place safer than there."

"That's true, isn't it?"

But Taeyeon shook her head. "You'll just become a big fish in a little pond."

"I don't understand."

"When you stand on your own feet, you realize you already have everything to live your own world."

Taeyeon couldn't help but marvel how much Joohyun looked just like herself as a teenager, having the same fears and doubts.

"And to realize that, you have to break out of your egg."

Her egg? Joohyun frowned. The woman's words just reminded her of the phrase of her favorite book.

The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world.

Who would be born must first destroy a world. (Demian, Hermann Hesse)

"Joohyun, what do you think of your world right now?"

Joohyun gulped. "A glass container."

She felt slightly annoyed when the woman in a black suit laughed as if she had said something very funny.

"I'm amazed." Taeyeon exclaimed. "That describes my past perfectly."

You could see everything yet you couldn't have anything.

You thought you were breathing just fine, but you were actually slowly suffocating.

"Joohyun." The woman said in determination. "You have to destroy your glass container."

"I really have to find Seulgi right now. It's already past nine!"

After their short talk, Taeyeon asked no, ordered her to follow her and Joohyun was getting slightly impatient.

"And what are you going to tell her?"

Joohyun stopped. She haven't actually thought about that. She just wanted to see her.

"Joohyun." Taeyeon opened the staff room door and gestured her to go in.

"I'm going to help you make things clear."

She wasn't sure if she should trust the woman but judging from her intimidating look, she had no choice.

She slowly followed Taeyeon and saw lined up red lockers on the wall. Taeyeon pulled out her key and inserted it on one of the lockers.

The locker opened with a click and Joohyun frowned. "Why are you showing me an empty locker?"

"Just wait and see."

The woman puled out an old-fashioned map inside the locker and spread it open on the table.

On the map were several red circles. There was even little red stars on their country.

"What is this? A treasure map?"

Taeyeon almost rolled her eyes. "You really don't know?"

She threw up her hands when Joohyun gave her an oblivious look.

"That's Seulgi's map." The owner explained patiently. "And the red circles are the countries she wants to go. W