Chapter 28 (Part 2)

Strawberries&Cigarettes
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Long nights, daydreams

 

 

"Next time I'm going to learn how to say 'No'."

Wendy grumbled to herself as she went down the stairs with a file tucked in her arm.

Since she had spent a few years in another country, she quickly had warmed up to her English teacher. And she was grateful for him because he helped her so much filling out the recommendation file and her autobiography.

But that didn't mean she was grateful for running his errands when she was supposed to be in her room, strumming her guitar and even making brownies right now.

Joy and Joohyun snickered when she came back with the files and Wendy guessed they already knew she won't ever be able to decline her teacher's request.

At least there was only one file left. It was for Miss Hwang so she quickly raced toward the library and almost threw the file on Miss Hwang's desk.

The happy junior was about to skip away but stopped when she heard a shuffle of someone else's shoes.

She peeked behind the bookshelf on the last row, her doe eyes looking down stretching her philtrum unconsciously at the same time.

"And I thought Miss Hwang was the only teacher in the library."

Seulgi looked up, surprised by the unexpected company. "Aren't you supposed to be home by now?"

Wendy scowled. "Please. Don't ask. Mind if I sit here?"

The junior patted the spot next to her. "Sure. Be my guest."

The older flopped next to Seulgi and flinched feeling the cold hard floor.

Being her sometimes overly-friendly self, Wendy tried to initiate a conversation.

"So. I'm sure Miss Hwang doesn't make you work that hard. Why the long face?"

Seulgi leaned her head against the bookshelf, staring into nothingness.

"Strangely, sitting here calms me down."

Wendy shook her head in awe. "You're not Bae Joohyun in disguise, are you?"

Seulgi laughed and Wendy smiled as she glanced at the junior.

The floor was hard, the air was cold and yet she felt comfortable too.

"I used to get nauseated just looking at those romance novels," Seulgi said flatly and Wendy was amused by how quiet and shy the younger was.

The senior only nodded, knowing Seulgi had once despised them.

"But thanks to her I can even be surrounded by them." Seulgi chuckled to herself.

And Wendy didn't have to ask who she was referring to.

"You okay?" The older asked, reminded by the fact her best friend that obviously meant the world for the younger was going to leave after three months.

Seulgi shrugged, her shoulders lifelessly going up then down. "I'm trying to be."

but by the dazed look on her face and tired eyes, Wendy guessed she was having a hard time even sleeping.

"I'm sure you two will be even more inseparable as time goes on." Wendy tried to reassure her, obvious why Seulgi was so down.

And Wendy meant it. She was Joohyun's childhood friend. Which meant she had known her for more than ten years.

Joohyun had dated a few boys, of course, but to tell the truth, Wendy hardly noticed them. She can't even remember what they looked like.

And Wendy never imagined them being 'the one' for her best friend. Just stepping stones for Joohyun to grow up.

But Seulgi didn't seem like one of them. She felt like a destination.

Wendy couldn't be certain about it(because she had to admit, she didn't know a thing when it comes to love), but she was sure.

Bae Joohyun now was a whole lot different than the Bae Joohyun in middle school and Wendy always thanked Seulgi for that.

Heck, if it wasn't for the bear, she wouldn't even have reconciled with her childhood friend.

That adds to the reason why Wendy was sure and hoped Seulgi will be Joohyun's last.

Seulgi may have seen more of Joohyun but Wendy saw how much different Joohyun became.

Sighing dreamily and rambling about cigarettes and smoke rings, cherry blossoms.

Calling her for the first time ever since middle school to help the younger believe in love again.

Ditching her date because she was worried about the younger.

Even with dark circles in her eyes, she always smiles whenever she opens the note Seulgi left for her.

And how broken and lifeless she looked when Seulgi shut them out as if the whole world was taken away from her and was sure she won't ever get it back. Not without her.

Seulgi knows all of that. Then why did she look so.. insecure?

"I'm not the one to complain, am I?" Seulgi muttered, almost talking to herself.

"I mean, everything in her life is going to change."

Seulgi looked guilty, probably beating herself up for being selfish and childish.

She closed her eyes with her brow still creased and spoke as she exhaled shakily,

"The one thing I'm glad is you're by her side."

"You know Joohyun never even thinks about ending this, right?" Wendy asked, just to make sure Seulgi wasn't thinking anything stupid such as 'Joohyun Bae may not love me anymore.'.

It was like Seulgi doubting her cooking. And hell, she won't ever accept that.

“What if we get too tired of not seeing each other?" The younger asked, turning to Wendy for an answer. And it ached her because her eyes were mixed in desperation and hopelessness.

"You know if that happens she will come to you instead, and never end it because of that." Wendy tried to reason but the junior didn't seem convinced.

"At least now I can make Joohyun fall in love with me all over again because we see each other every day," Seulgi mumbled, hugging her knees as she laid her chin.

All Seulgi's efforts were because to show how much she loved Joohyun, of course.

But they also came with a package, with the hope that Joohyun felt the same way.

"But in the future, I may not even have the chance."

Seulgi could almost imagine herself racing toward Seoul National University only to find Joohyun laughing with other someone, already moved on during her three-hour train ride.

Wendy pursed her lips, feeling regretful she wasn't able to give Seulgi a definite answer that Bae Joohyun will never leave her.

That wasn't her words to say.

"For once I agree with Yerim. Never let your what-ifs eat you up." The older said a little firmly to at least try not let Seulgi drown in her doubts.

Seulgi stared at the cold marble floor absentmindedly as she spoke.

"I don't want them to but it scares me that these what-ifs have even a little possibility of happening."

Seulgi felt pathetic for being scared of the littlest consequences that could ever happen. Her father even said jokingly, 'Why don't you ever worry that the sky will fall?'.

Maybe it's because she doesn't understand why she needed to be hurt to grow up.

That only seemed like a rationalization to make them feel less sorry about themselves and feel more the opposite.

"I am going to risk heartbreak because I know that I will regret more when I let go first." Seulgi said, recalling Miss Kim's words.

A few days ago, Seulgi was determined to be strong for them. Relishing every day that was given and not thinking their parting as an ending but as a new journey.

But seeing Joohyun slowly changing, putting on makeup, no longer wearing their uniform, experiencing all the things which Seulgi needed to wait two more years to do, she was hit by the realization everything was going to change. Even them.

And only one emotion kept her awake at night and made her dread the day to come.

"But I'm scared, Seungwan unnie. I'm scared."

.

"She looked like a puppy begging not to leave her," Wendy said, shaking her head as she recalled the bear never looking more miserable than she already was.

Seulgi went back to class leaving Wendy trapped in her own thoughts, and her two friends had to come to find her.

Wendy hesitated whether she should tell this to Joohyun since Seulgi hated being a burden but she didn't want to just sit and watch.

They were both her friends after all.

"I always suspected something was off with her these days.. But.." Joohyun bit the insides of her cheek. "Never to this extent."

"Hey," Joy slung her arm around the petite girl, trying to comfort her. "She just loves you too much."

"I know.. But I... It feels like she doesn't trust me." Joohyun mumbled.

"Joohyun," Wendy said sternly. "You're experiencing a whole new life without her. How would you feel if it was the other way around?"

Joohyun had to admit, that would absolutely be dreadful. Not knowing what kind of people Seulgi would encounter, not having the knowledge to advise her whenever the bear felt troubled.

She would feel totally useless and miserable. And maybe not even sure if their relationship could work because she herself loved her too much.

Like loving someone that could never be hers.

"What should I do?" The bunny was on the verge of crying and Wendy gave Jennie a reassuring smile when the cafe manager looked at them in concern.

"Not again, Joohyun." Wendy tried to say jokingly. "You've already cried in Jennie's cafe before when Seulgi left us. And now look, Jennie is ready to pick up the tissue box for you."

"I don't want her to doubt us," Joohyun spoke uneasily, barely holding herself together.

Should she make a promise she won't leave her? That she always daydreams about their forever?

But promises can be broken.

And Joohyun wanted to do more than talking.

Maybe it was time for the ring?

"Maybe I should buy her a ring?" Joohyun suggested, not thinking clearly.

Wendy shook her head in dismay. "Don't try to give her something more, that's not what she needs."

"Then what should I do?" The frustrated bunny said and Wendy marveled how exactly the same Seulgi had looked at the library.

"Just stay by her side, Joohyun." Wendy managed to reply, actually having no idea what to say.

"Is that enough?" Joohyun said, a little unconvinced but also a little hopeful.

Wendy could only nod in defeat. What more could she do?

"I don't want her to doubt us. But now I'm starting to doubt too." Joohyun mumbled, her stomach suddenly feeling heavy it was almost nauseating

"I believe that is inevitable to long-distance couples." Joy assured her. "I bet Jennie agrees."

"Agree about what?" The cafe manager pipped up walking toward them with a box of tissue.

"Told you so," Wendy grunted and Joohyun gratefully took the tissue to blow her nose.

"I heard Jisoo is also attending Konkuk university." Joy said. "So does that mean I get to see you every weekend?"

Jennie shook her head sadly. "Actually, no. I have a job here and as you all know, this cafe won't be called 'Jennie's' without me."

"So you're going to wait until she comes back?" Joohyun said, her nose still stuffy.

Jennie shrugged. "I guess so."

Joy narrowed her eyes. "You two are still together, right?"

"It took me a month to be this bland." The cafe manager confessed. "And lots of hugging and reassuring."

"Is that all?" Wendy asked, craving for the answer to her friend's problem.

"They were actually temporary," Jennie said, smiling awkwardly. "But.."

"But??" Wendy and Joy leaned toward her so Jennie had to take a few steps backward, with her both hands held up in case the two won't be satisfied with her answer.

"She asked me if I could try to just love her."

Wendy scratched her head. "I really am bad at literature. I don't get it."

"We can't define and understand what we completely feel," Jennie said as she chanced a glance at the still distressed bunny. "And we can't match them up to formulas. So what choice do we have?"

Joohyun sniffed and heaved a sigh, wave of concern daunting her.

"I didn't want to be worried about the end and ruin us by trying to measure how much she loves me back."

Jennie gave the bunny a reassuring smile, understanding what she was going through.

"There's no formula we'll break up if our relationship turns into a long-distance one."

There wasn't just one answer to this problem. And maybe they have all kinds of answers, so it was up to them how it ends.

Jennie was determined her heart will always draw a straight line to reach out to her girlfriend.

"So I answered, 'I will always just love you with the purest and simple heart.'."

The cafe manager handed another tissue to Joohyun.

"And we always try to look at the bright side now. We can travel to different areas since Jisoo is now a college student. So we always talk about our pl

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MeloMera
I don't have a twitter account anymore but thankfully I saw a pleasant surprise today when I went back to my account for the last time :)
Thank you @dinniebur for liking this fic so much! I'm very happy&grateful that you enjoyed it :) your reactions about each chapter made my day haha

Comments

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hollyhunterey
#1
One of the best.. Thank you very much 💕
Kylie_123 #2
Rereading !!! Kasi gusto ko kiligin ulit 💗💗💗
Jensoo4everlove #3
Chapter 59: I LOVED THIS SO SO MUCH 😭❤ And thankyou so so much Author for taking out time to write such a masterpiece!!! I really appreciate it!! But why can't I see the sequel? 🥺
sjaelister
#4
I just want to ask if this is the original version because I read this but it's the Ryeji version on wattpad huhuhu.
AnneTokki 34 streak #5
Chapter 59: 💓💓💓💛💛💛🫶
Revemid12
#6
Reading this masterpiece for the third time, is my comfort fic, let’s goo!
Oct_13_wen_03 26 streak #7
Chapter 49: reread❤❤
serenedipitea
#8
Chapter 20: this chapter made me cry. the angst!!!
Seul_rene14 #9
Chapter 59: Am I the only one who won't get to read the sequel?🥺😭
gcpt21 #10
Chapter 49: This fic is so beautiful thank you so much author ily