Chapter 11

Strawberries&Cigarettes
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

Remember when you taught me fate?

You said it'd all be worth the wait.

 

After their first fight, Joohyun acted as if nothing happened.

Honestly, she felt ashamed. Humiliated even, that she cried her eyes out in the middle of the night, in front of her friend's house.

Seulgi had to stand for hours to calm her down and even took her home for safety. And Joohyun almost screamed after seeing her red-swollen eyes and smeared mascara when she looked at the mirror.

Thankfully, Seulgi didn't mention any of that and even called her to make sure she was alright.

'Get some rest.' Even just by the sound of her voice on the phone, Joohyun could tell what kind of expression she was making. 'Don't be too hard on yourself.' and she bid her goodnight.

Their situation still seemed iffy but she didn't have enough time to think about it because of their midterms, which was next Tuesday.

Her weekend seemed to fly by so fast thanks to her lessons and assignments that never seemed to end. There was always something more to do.

Their academy teacher even privately called her to encourage her to work harder. Joohyun knew it was not because he cared about her life, it was because he wanted his academy reputation to be continuous.

So she just nodded with a bitter taste in .

Her parents pressured her with just by their looks of anticipation, which they did a lot.

Even her father, who rarely even looked at her, glanced at her whenever she came out of her room to relax, giving her a suspicious glance. So she stayed trapped in her room the whole weekend, not having the energy to think but the bear always lingered in her mind from time to time.

Still, studying was a good distraction to keep her thoughts hidden.

She decided to properly talk to the younger girl when the midterm was over and until then, she was going to act like nothing was wrong.

But she couldn't help but go downstairs to take a peek at the particular junior's classroom to see if she was doing okay. And she would often see her studying even in break time, tugging strands of her hair in frustration as Yerim chattered beside her.

And it didn't take long for Wendy and Joy to notice her changed behavior.

Joohyun didn't say anything about what happened at her first date but news spread like wildfire so she wasn't surprised they knew already.

But she avoided telling them and sent them a silent signal not to talk about it.

Seulgi was enough distraction for her to endure. She couldn't bear another one.

Their midterm finally ended when the last bell rang. But instead of feeling relieved, Joohyun felt the void from the exam.

It was quite upsetting that all her months of hard work ended in only two days.

But still, she was glad it was all over.

Joy happily skipped toward her and Joohyun sensed that her backpack was almost empty seeing how it bounced up and down.

"Hell's over!" Joy cheered loudly and Wendy joined the cheer with the same look of joy.

"Yeah it's over! We should celebrate!"

"Maybe later." Joohyun said. "I need to-"

"Find Seulgi?" Wendy guessed and Joohyun flinched.

It was astonishing how Wendy could be so sharp sometimes.

"No." She managed to lie. "I have to tell my parents how I did in the exam."

"After walking home with Seulgi?" Even Joy seemed to know her motives. She cursed to herself.

"Seulgi can wait." Wendy said. "First, you need to tell us what happened between Bogum and you."

"Well, just like you heard." Joohyun lied. "I wasn't feeling well so he took me home."

But Joohyun could never fool Wendy and Joy. They had known each other since elementary school. It was almost impossible to utter a lie to each other.

Wendy couldn't help but feel hurt by the wall Joohyun was setting. It felt as if she was punching a wall that only made her fists bleed, with the wall unharmed unlike her.

"All right. I've had enough of this." Wendy said with a serious look on her face which she didn't pull very often.

"We planned everything for your perfect date so we deserve to know why you ditched that date.

Did Bogum try to do something? Or were you really sick?"

"I said." Joohyun gritted her teeth. "I was sick. And it's none of your business."

"IT IS TOO MY BUSINESS!"

The classroom immediately became quiet and Joy managed a fake chuckle as she sent the surprised students a look of 'Everything's Fine Don't Mind Us'.

"Girls? Why don't we talk privately? Just the three of us?"

"I have nothing to talk about."

"God Bae Joohyun!" Wendy fumed. "Stop being so stubborn!"

"Well I'm sorry but that's what I am!"

"Both of you just SHUT UP!" The two grils stopped and stared at Joy, who rarely got pissed off by them. Joy was the brightest one among them which meant, when she gets angry, nobody messes with her.

"We've known each other for almost 10 years." Joy said calmly. "But I feel sometimes we've known each other for 10 days."

"That's nonsense." Joohyun argued but stopped when Joy shot her a glare.

"I thought we should talk when the time is right." Joy continued. "But I guess the right time is now. Both of you. In the student council room. NOW."

 

And that's how Joohyun ended up pacing back and forth while Wendy silently watched her.

"We could actually talk you know."

Joohyun stopped but still refused to meet the other girl's eyes.

"I have nothing to talk about."

Wendy had to take another deep breath not to get pissed off again.

Joohyun seemed agitated even though Joy promised her she was going to ask Seulgi to wait for them. What was Joohyun hiding? Wendy frowned in confusion.

Even though she had known Joohyun for 10 years, the period was meaningless because she stopped calling her 'Seungwan' since middle school. 

If not for Joy, Wendy wouldn't have been able to talk to Joohyun because she always tried to avoid her. But still Wendy couldn't give up their friendship.

Except for Joohyun and Joy, everyone thought she was always smart, cheerful, energetic girl who was kind to everyone. 

But she was a human also. And they often seemed to forget that.

So to Wendy, Joohyun and Joy were the only friends that could call her 'Seungwan'.

Not Wendy, the 'perfect' student.

She could be Son Seungwan, who often gets dramatic, who exaggerates when she's excited, who can get upset, who can shout when she's angry.

They were the only friends who could accept her as 'Son Seungwan' which even her parents couldn't do.

And it hurt her when Joohyun treated her as 'Wendy'.

She knew why. But it still hurt.

"I'm your friend, Joohyun." Wendy quietly said. "I really want you to accept that."

"You need to accept the fact you and I could never be friends. Not anymore."

"Why are you making this so hard?"

"Because." Joohyun scowled as if she tasted something bad. "You're too perfect to be my friend. I can't bear to be with you because I always end up feeling I'm a failure."

"I had given up being perfect for a long time."

Joohyun managed to snort and scoff at the same time.

"Then I guess you're doing a very bad job."

"I meant I had given up being perfect for other people."

Wendy sighed as she remembered how Joohyun's parents treated her.

She still remembered the look on Joohyun's face when they said 'I wish Joohyun could be more like you.'.

And she vividly remembered when they asked her to help Joohyun with her studies.

'Joohyun may lack a lot compared to you.' Mrs. Bae had said as she sighed at Joohyun with a look of pity, 'But I'm sure you could fix her.'

It shocked her how a mother could look at her daughter like that.

That day, Joohyun had ripped all her notebooks and threw them away, despite the fact they are the evidence of Joohyun's hard work.

Wendy had to stop her and when she grabbed her hand to prevent her from ripping the rest of the notebooks, Joohyun had looked at her with such hatred it almost made her cry.

'Why are they raising me!' 14 year old Joohyun had screamed with rage. 'When they could just adopt you and send me away?'

"I know you hate me because your parents always compare me to you."

"Compare?" Joohyun raised her voice. "They wanted me to be you. It's not comparing. It's called brainwash, Wendy."

"But Joohyun," Wendy said with a pleading voice, nearly in the verge of crying.

"We're all different. And that means we all have different standards of perfect."

Joohyun's breath was shaking. All these years of hatred that she tried so hard to push away seemed to be banging on her chest, demanding her to be opened.

"Even if there are many definitions of 'perfect'." Joohyun breathed heavily. "I'll never be perfect in every way."

Wendy stayed silent for a while. Trying to think a way to persuade her friend to stop torturing herself. 

It had been 5 years. This needed to stop.

"Have you ever heard someone call you 'perfect'?"

"In a good way? No."

"Not one? Are you sure?"

Actually, there was. Only with a fake smile on their faces mixed with jealousy, envy, and even anger.

"They're just saying that to flatter me."

"Even Seulgi?"

"What?" Joohyun's eyes immediately met hers just by mentioning the younger girl's name.

"Did Seulgi ever say you were perfect to flatter you?"

She instantly recalled their moment at the beach, with the headlights shining on them as they admired how beautiful the stars were.

'You're perfect. Not because you don't have flaws. But because I'm never going to change anything about you even when I have the chance.'

She still remembered that line. 

She still remembered how sheepishly Seulgi smiled at her as she said that

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
MeloMera
I don't have a twitter account anymore but thankfully I saw a pleasant surprise today when I went back to my account for the last time :)
Thank you @dinniebur for liking this fic so much! I'm very happy&grateful that you enjoyed it :) your reactions about each chapter made my day haha

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
hollyhunterey
#1
One of the best.. Thank you very much 💕
Kylie_123 #2
Rereading !!! Kasi gusto ko kiligin ulit 💗💗💗
Jensoo4everlove #3
Chapter 59: I LOVED THIS SO SO MUCH 😭❤ And thankyou so so much Author for taking out time to write such a masterpiece!!! I really appreciate it!! But why can't I see the sequel? 🥺
sjaelister
#4
I just want to ask if this is the original version because I read this but it's the Ryeji version on wattpad huhuhu.
AnneTokki 35 streak #5
Chapter 59: 💓💓💓💛💛💛🫶
Revemid12
#6
Reading this masterpiece for the third time, is my comfort fic, let’s goo!
Oct_13_wen_03 26 streak #7
Chapter 49: reread❤❤
serenedipitea
#8
Chapter 20: this chapter made me cry. the angst!!!
Seul_rene14 #9
Chapter 59: Am I the only one who won't get to read the sequel?🥺😭
gcpt21 #10
Chapter 49: This fic is so beautiful thank you so much author ily