Always taste like you

Even after midterms, nothing seemed to have changed.

After Seulgi's sudden breakdown Joohyun hadn't been herself lately.

Wendy even had to stop her distressed friend from throwing away everything and get on the train to check on her girlfriend.

Wendy and Yerim had to put their heads together to coax the bunny that her girlfriend was perfectly fine.

Though she wasn't.

When their midterm ended, Seulgi finally quit her part-time job.

It was already May and the bear didn't need any more people to make her realize she was the worst.

It was a hard decision since she now has to rely on her brother for money but Joongi insisted. 'It's the least I can do.' He had said, puffing out his chest with pride and protectiveness, making Seulgi crack a smile for the first time.

Seulgi had apologized about her breakdown after the next day, and she wanted more than anyone(even Yerim) to smack herself on the face for being so insecure.

But that didn't mean she was fine.

Everything came all at once and she never felt more confused and wrong.

What major is she going to study?

What was she going to do if she couldn't go to college?

What was she going to tell Joohyun when she came this weekend?

What were they going to do about their future?

What was she going to do?

She had asked Miss Kim the most important question, what was she going to do if she couldn't be Joohyun's dream?

For the first time, Miss Kim never looked more distressed and she struggled some time to answer her question. And the restaurant owner could only ask one thing.

'Is her dream what she really wants?'

Seulgi stared at the pile of books next to her and tried hard not to whine in anguish.

Everything was a mess. Including herself.

She averted her gaze to look anywhere but her desk.

She noticed Yerim, surprisingly busy with her books. Her lips were pursed with her eyes focused only on the black letterings on the white paper.

So she wasn't joking when she said she was going to college in Seoul along with their three friends.

She silently sent the Squirtle her respect and stared at the chalkboard which was completely blank.

Sitting on her seat for hours was torturing enough, but when her surroundings quiet and stuffy, with everyone focusing on their books while she wasn't and her body aching in exhaustion. It was tormenting to live.

Seulgi slumped on her seat after reading the class motto.

'Don't look back at the past, don't worry about your future, and enjoy your present if it's inevitable.'

Enjoy your present since it's inevitable?

What kind of sick joke was that?

Here's my negative thoughts eating me up again, Seulgi sulked to herself.

But she didn't stop. She was tired of fighting.

She closed her eyes so tight someone might have mistaken her as grimacing.

Happy thoughts. Good memories.

It didn't take long for her to remember them. Thankfully.

And it didn't take long to realize every single one had Joohyun's name carved on it.

Their meeting at the park.

Their bonding at the cafe.

Their first trip with the cherry blossoms.

Their cherry blossom tree.

Their first kiss.

All of her happiness was in the past.

And Seulgi wished she could go back.

Back when she made Joohyun happy by her side, which she couldn't do in the present.

Even saying sweet, encouraging nothingness wasn't enough to express her feelings for the older girl and yet now she was the cause of Joohyun Bae's misery.

She shivered even though it wasn't cold at all in the classroom.

The pounding in her head got louder by the minute and Seulgi felt her whole burning from head to toe at the same time.

Everything was a mess.

But not as much as herself.

.

Joohyun bit her lip as she stared at the text she just received.

Heard you're going back home.

Make sure you keep yourself warm.

I'm worried not because I like you, but because I don't want to catch a cold :)

-Suho

She did her best to send him the message she would never be interested in him and yet here they are, with him still being the flirty guy and her doing her best to avoid him.

Even when she talked about it, he would pretend to be oblivious and always playfully ended the situation.

'What makes you think I have feelings for you?' He would always say with a snort.

But Joohyun couldn't give up her relationship with the guy because she gained a lot thanks to him.

She managed to take her mind off for a short while after joining the dance crew in school and continuing her volunteer work with Suho in the hospital.

She was practically Jiyoon's sister and Joohyun even thought Jiyoon as one of her fates she needed in her life.

Her passion to become a doctor grew immense as time went on, but she couldn't relax and enjoy this.

A few days ago, when she decided to sneak out of Jiyoon's patient room since the little girl was taking a nap, and call Seulgi she walked passed a little boy's patient room, with Suho sitting beside him.

Joohyun hesitated whether to greet the two boys and when she was about to make up her mind, the boy spoke up.

"Suho, do you have a crush on Joohyun noona?"

Her ears perked up as Suho chuckled half-heartedly. "What makes you think that?"

"Because you always stare at noona when she isn't looking. And you always bring her lunch and even give noona your precious chocolate bar!"

That was true. But Suho had always packed lunch for two because he wanted to 'Bulk up' which always failed. Joohyun winced. It was so obvious he said that to make her not think he packed lunch for her. How dumb was she?

And she did always feel self-conscious as if she was being watched every move but she had always shrugged it off.

As for the chocolate bar, Joohyun wasn't so sure.

"You're sure a good detective, Eunso."

"So is it true?" The boy, Eunso, jumped up and down making the bed's spring creak.

"Yep," Suho answered and Joohyun saw a glimpse of him blushing. Blushing. She had never seen Suho blush because of someone.

"I did all that," The man, with his ears tinted pink, explained. "Because I like her."

The boy giggled at his answer but Joohyun couldn't laugh along.

"But it's a secret between us. Man to man, okay?" Suho made the boy promise.

Because I like her.

Joohyun did her best to push him away, to never let him cross the line.

But all her efforts turned out to be useless. Who knows, maybe she even made him more triggered.

It bothered her enough she naturally came to see and contact Suho much more often than before, while Seulgi was at her worst.

She didn't want to imagine what would Seulgi think if she ever heard that.

Joohyun had more time in her hands after her midterm and after joining the dance crew, she realized she really liked dancing on stage.

With herself moving freely around the stage, and everyone watching, it was a kind of sensation she couldn't describe into words.

And she felt her whole senses being paralyzed when the crowd cheered and clapped so loud, ringing her ears.

But it was only temporary.

That never meant she felt any better.

There was always a Seulgi-shaped hole that seemed to grow by seconds.

Seulgi had called her right the next day after her breakdown, apologizing for her insecure behavior endlessly.

But something was still off.

The younger seemed to get more and more insecure and Joohyun had to know why.

She was so upset when Seulgi hung up after breaking down she almost forgot she had an assignment due the next day.

Joohyun knew. She knew how much pressure Seulgi was going through and she couldn't even be there for her.

What she didn't know was the junior needed her more than she thought.

And she had to wait three days to get on that damn train.

Her mind flashed back when even nine hours felt like an eternity to her.

Looking back, Joohyun couldn't help but smile with a bitter taste in .

What happened to those days?

She still loved Seulgi.

And Seulgi still loved her back.

Then why was it so different now?

But life wasn't as simple as that.

Sometimes love wasn't enough.

But was she going to give up?

She was already at the train station but with the train having ten minutes left to arrive, she could make a choice.

Was she going to get on the train eventually or give up?

Wind swept her hair and her nose tickled as she smelled the shampoo that matches with her certain someone.

"Enough with the cherry blossoms!"

Joohyun laughed as she held up the cherry blossom body wash, seeing the younger slumping on the cart filled with her favorite detergents, diffuser, and even a purple iron.

Since Joohyun needed to prepare to move out, after arranging her stuff and