Eunhyuk POV

It took a while for Donghae to regain his strength to hold back his tears. I could tell he was heartbroken, that the memories of his father had also popped up into his mind. He was afraid of losing another important person in his life. I couldnt sit back and watch him breaking up over something he had no control over. I wrapped my arms around him for another tight embrace.

"Hyukkie...I should be the one to console you," he whispered in my ear.I didn't know what to say. I was upset about my cancer but I was more afraid for Super Junior after my disappearance from the stage. How would they handle this news?

"Are you two ok?" Siwon appeared from the bushes. Donghae and I split instantly.

"Siwon..." Dongae sniffled. "Hyukkie has..." I slapped a hand over his mouth.

"A growling belly...let's go eat," I insisted. I turned back to Donghae who was looking surprised by my actions. "I don't want them to know yet. I'll tell them at the right time" I whispered to Donghae. We left instantly for the closest restaurant, stopping every now and then to window shop. At one particular store Donghae stopped in front of a display of the ocean. It reminded me of his father. The person that used to be Donghae's rock. It reminded me of the night Donghae locked himself in the bathroom after his father's passing. After a lot of persuassion he allowed me in and it took even longer for him to stop crying and talk to me. He told me a lot of things about the father he loved.

"My father loved the sea as much as he loved to sing. Every chance he got he would go to the sea, a guitar in his hand. He would spend hours singing songs he made up on the spot. It's why he named me Donghae, the east sea. His last love and hope to hear great music. I didn't want to disapoint him," he had said to me then. It was one of the most heart touching stories I heard him tell. After that I had become Donghae's rock, his everything. Just as he was mine.

I stared at the display of the sea, wishing I could eventually become part of it, that would wash away all the pain Donghae had ever felt, but right now I was part of that pain. Donghae eventually moved away from the display while I continued to stare. Siwon was the to pull me away, reminding me of my growling stomach. The doctor's words replayed in my head. I needed to gain weight. I needed to fight to make everyone around me to remain happy. I ordered over five entrees at the restaurant, continuing to eat until I was ready to throw up, while Siwon and Donghae stared at me in amazement.

"You weren't kidding about being hungry," Siwon laughed. I paid for the bill although Donghae disagreed. As we were leaving Siwon needed to use the restroom, leaving Donghae and I alone again.

"Hyuk Jae... you need to tell them. They won't be happy if they find out you've been keeping this from them" we were back on the subject I didnt want to worry about.

"I know. I just want to do it all at once. Even the managers don't know," I explained to Donghae. He nodded.

"Let's go tell them now," Donghae insisted.

"I want to go shopping first. I was going to after my appointment. I'll tell them tonight," I promised. When Siwon returned I felt my phone ring in my pocket. I took it out to find a message from Heechul.

"Where are you?" the text asked. I replied telling him I was shopping. Another lie... We spent over two hours shopping, where I bought several pairs of jeans and shirts to last me for a life time but the activity made me lose my sense of fear. I had several brother's who would care for me till the end. That would unstoppingly support me. Heechul also texted me several times about my bad habit of spending money when I was saving up to help my family get better things. In his last text he simply replied that he loved me. I felt guity spending time with Donghae and Siwon when I wasn't supposed to. It was then that I made the decision to return home.

As we reached our dorm I asked Siwon and Donghae to bring everyone to the downstairs dorm living room. Siwon seemed confused but agreed to do it. I prepared myself by going straight to my room and putting all my bags of clothes down. I was shaking, afraid what might be going on in this building after I told everyone. I was prepared for a lot of tears and emotions to pour out.

Super Junior, my closest friends, we had fought alongside each other to continue on in the music business. It had been a struggle that we had defeated together. Now that another struggle was arising could we still pull it together and be one family? Or would it fall apart? A knock on my bedroom door pulled out of my thoughts back to what I needed to do.

Siwon was staring at me with a worried look on his face but he led me back to the living room where everyone was assembled in a messy pile on the floor. Heechul was leaning against the wall, a placid look on his face. Even some managers were pulled into the situation, sitting off to the side looking weird without a phone pressed to their ear.

"What's this about Hyuk Jae?" Kang In asked. He wasn't one for sitting around for long periods of time with the members.

"Calm down," Heechul spoke. The room went silent, blank, scary...

"I-I have some bad news..." My voice shoke as I spoke. I was beginning to think this was a bad idea as everyone stared at me, their faces becoming worried. I found Donghae in the sea of people, holding hands with Sungmin and Ryeowook, which was normal. Donghae was a very touchy-feely kind of person although he didn't like to admit it. However, it was Donghae that made me find my strength in telling the members. "I have been diagnosed with cancer," I managed to squeak out. The room remained silent.

"W-What?" Leeteuk's voice cracked. I already saw tears forming in his eyes. I bowed my head, looking at the floor below my feet.

"I have a tumor right behind my bone," I began again. When I looked up everyone had tears running down their faces and I could feel tears beginning to burst out of my own eyes.

"Hyuk Jae," Leeteuk scrambled to his feet, and gave me a bone-crushing hug. "It's not possible...It can't be... say your joking Hyuk Jae," Leeteuk sobbed into my shoulder. I held him tightly only to have him pulled away by Kang In who also had tears in his eyes. As if one person, everyone stood and moved toward me, every one of them wrapping an arm around me, holding me tightly. We were all in tears...all in a state of uproar that I knew would happen.

"Dear Lord of Mercy and Father of Comfort," Siwon began his praying. He was the most religious of us all. "You are the one I turn to for help in moments of weakness and times of need. I ask you to be with your servant in this illness," Siwon finished. All of the members said their 'amens' in shaky voices.

"We'll always be here for you Hyuk Jae," Yesung whispered, taking the chance to hug me tightly. He was one of the few that rarely cried. I hugged him tightly, feeling happy that I had these best friends. For the rest of the night we stayed in each other's company. We talked but not one of us could crack a joke or laugh. It was dreary and awkward to know that I was the center of attention, that everyone was crying for me, that no one could laugh because of me.

"Eunhyuk," Heechul called me over when it was really late and mostly everyone had fallen asleep in the living room. I stared at him, looking at his red eyes that had obviously let go some pretty heavy tears. Heechul wrapped his arms tightly around me. "I'm always going to be here for you. I'll never leave. Don't leave me," Heechul sobbed. I hugged him tightly.

"I'm never leaving you Kim Heechul. Never." I whispered back. My tears had been never ending since I told everyone. I cried even harder with Heechul's hug. He had been a good friend to me since intimate note. I didn't know what I would do without him when I couldn't tell anyone else about how I was feeling and now he was more than that. I liked him. A lot... but I couldn't deny my love for Donghae either.

"I love you Lee Hyuk Jae," Heechul whispered. I was shocked. Heechul had said my real name. He said it even though he didn't use anything other than nicknames. My mind swirled with that phrase.

so everyone knows... now what? ^_^ sorry if the chapter was more boring than you thought it was going to be. I'm running on too little sleep to come up with anything interesting at the moment but the coming chapters should be fabulous.

OH BTWS I'm going to the BIG BANG concert in NEWARK, NEW JERSEY on NOVEMBER 9th!!!! I'm SO EXCITED!!! :D

-LHY