Eunhyuk POV

After Heechul left I was directly confronted once more by Leeteuk. He once again had his hands on his hips, an angry look placed on his face. I tried to escape to my room but he blocked the hallway to the rooms. He really acted like a mother when it came to serious things. I sighed and took a seat in the kitchen, prepared for a long lecture.

"Lee Hyuk Jae... It's about time you explain yourself. Don't you know what you're doing? Getting yourself involved with the world's biggest playboy?" Leeteuk paced in front of me. I knew he wasn't finished. "Do you know what you are doing to Donghae? He isn't the same person without you...can you honestly say that you don't love him anymore?" Leeteuk questioned. After today I had tried to forget about my unhappiness, about everything that I was doing for our group...for my brothers...for the people I loved most.

"It's not that," I simply stated, looking away from him. I couldn't confess my true feelings...how much I would give to have Donghae back in my life again, but even that confused me. As much as I hated to admit it, I had a good time with Heechul today. I'd be lying if I didn't feel something for him, but my heart still beat for one person. Lee. Dong. Hae. He was the only man I'd ever be able to share everything with, atleast that's what I believed at present.

"Then explain..." Leeteuk seemed to try to understand, bringing his temper down a notch. I frowned. There was no way I could explain without giving away the real reason why I was acting the way I was. All because of Heechul he had turned my world upside down, but in a surprisingly weird way I was enjoying it for the time being...although I still longed to be with Donghae at the end of the night.

"I-I...can't," I sighed and stood up. I tried to walk away but I was held back by Leeteuk.

"Hyuk Jae...Donghae is prepared to leave Super Junior..." Leeteuk spoke softly, making his words more dangerous and scary. I was shocked. Super Junior was his life... he was fulfilling his father's dream and he loved cheering up the people who supported him the most. "He said it isn't fun anymore...I think we all misjudged his reason for staying in Super Junior. It wasn't for his father...it was for you." Leeteuk looked upset as he thought about one of his babies leaving super junior. He had already lost Hangeng and Kibum for that matter.

"He can't leave. I did everything to keep Super Junior together..." I blurted out without thinking. I couldn't imagine a happy Super Junior without Donghae...and there would be no reason for me to stay either if he left.

"Everything to keep Super Junior together?" Leeteuk questioned, making me mentally smack myself in the face for saying too much. I shook my head. I couldn't say anymore. I couldn't let Super Junior split up. "Were you threatened?" Leeteuk asked me, his mentality changing. I shook my head to deny his suggestion. Leeteuk grabbed both of my shoulders and shook me. "Lee Hyuk Jae! How can you keep this all to yourself?! If you were threatened we all can help you... don't keep this to yourself. Seeing you this way makes everyone else upset..." Leeteuk begged of me. I couldn't open my mouth anymore except to say one more thing.

"Right now I'm protecting Super Junior. That is all you need to know...I need you to trust me..." I pushed past him.

"I do trust you!" Leeteuk screamed. I paused in the hallway, trying not to let my emotions get away with me. Just then the dorm door opened and Donghae walked in, furious.

"Lee Hyuk Jae..." He called my name. I tried to escape to my room once more but he caught my arm and pulled me around to face him.

"Let go," I warned, not looking into his eyes. His grip on my arm tightened. I jerked my arm out of his grip. I felt sorry towards him that I had to act this way. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already had.

"Don't do this Hyuk Jae..." Donghae's voice softened. He was begging me now and I could tell he was near the edge of breaking down just as I was. I wanted to fall back into his arms, to tell him everything...to give him the rest of my life... but right now it was impossible. "Do you really not love me anymore?" He got straight to the point. I couldn't answer that question. My head was sceaming yes I still love you, my heart was screaming yes...but my knowledge of what would happen to Super Junior couldn't allow me to say anything.

I could live with myself being Heechul's puppet for the rest of my life, but I couldn't live with myself if Super Junior were to break up.

"I'm doing what is best for Super Junior," I replied simply. I moved a step towards my room.

"What about what is best for you? You never think about yourself! I can't stand it! Are you really happy?" Donghae questioned me once again. I my heel to face him.

"I can't be selfish, Donghae! I can't... Like Leeteuk Umma I think of what is best for the group... and right now this is the only way I know how to live with myself, and don't blame Heechul either..." I finished what I had to say to everyone before storming back to my room and locking the door behind me. I was used to fighting with Donghae. Fighting was apart of every couple's relationship, but that didn't make it easier knowing what I was doing.

I knew I was still in love with Donghae, that I would always love Lee Donghae, but a part of me began to like Heechul today...for whatever reason. Maybe because he was willing to protect me from whatever came my way. I slumped down on my bed, wishing I could forget everything that had happened the past two days. All I knew was that there were more members in Super Junior than just Donghae and I. I couldn't let SJ break up because of us...and no matter what it took I wouldn't let Donghae leave either.

I looked around my room, trying to forget the incident that had just happened. I spotted two shirts on the edge of my bed. One originally belonged to Lee Donghae...the person I loved, the other shirt belonged to Kim Heechul...the person who swore he loved me, and the person who was able to protect me and make me smile even though I was going through my mid-life crisis. I studied both shirts wondering which one would make me fall asleep tonight. I debated for a long time before I picked up the first shirt... Lee Donghae's... I loved him more than anything...

While I was practically forced into liking Kim Heechul. With that I held on tightly to Lee Donghae's shirt that still smelled like him and fell asleep quickly...wishing I could have the real Donghae beside me now.

what can I say?? I have a soft spot for EunHae <3

LHY