forty-eight
The Flower Boys (Three Flowers)
You and Kai sat down at a near by park on a pair of swings. While you looked down at the gravel beneath your sandals, you feel more tears start to fall. Kai did not know what was wrong with you and he became even more worried. Without words he grabbed your hand as the pair of you both sat on swings next to each other.
"Ppang...." he called out quietly.
You looked up at his face as he showed a comforting smile. You wonder how Kai could be such a comforting person. " He was always like this...didn't he comfort you when you were really down?" You think to yourself.
"Seriously....did I fly over a thousand miles across the world just to see you cry? It's annoying." Kai looked elsewhere and let go of your hand.
But you reached back for it, not wanting to let go of it.
"I'm sorry....I'm crying like a baby." You said.
"No matter how much I tell you that I hate when you cry, you do it anyway. You must really love making me go crazy." Kai smirked and started to swing a little grabbing tighter onto your hand.
You figured now was the right time to tell Kai.
"I kissed Lu Han." You told him.
Even though it was the other way around, you did not want to see a friendship ruined over someone like you. A girl who still had issues she needed to work on. Kai stopped swinging in his seat and held his gaze on you.
"You did what?" Kai asked shyly.
Gathering nerves, you looked Kai in the eye and told him that lie again.
"Lu Han and I...we kissed."
Kai slowly let go of your hand and looked down at his lap, CLEARLY embarrassed. He was really quiet. He gripped ahold of the ropes on the swing and rocked gently back and forth. You wanted for him to say something, get mad and walk away, but Kai didn't. He just sat there as if he was the only person there. You want to cry, thinking about all those times Kai had been nice to you. He was part of the reason you were who you are now. You weren't exactly given the reason why Lu Han had kissed you today but you could not deny that you did not feel at least something.
"Sorry." You said to him, not knowing what else to say.
"Do you like him?" Kai asked.
What he said really surprised you. You try looking into his eye's but you could not read them. He seemed distant.
"Do I like Lu Han?" You retorted.
"Mmmm....you said you kissed him...." Kai said.
You fumbled around what you thought you should say to him.
"...If you kissed him, then that must mean you feel something for him." Kai said.
Kai glanced over at your fingers to see the ring that he had given you was in fact still missing. Embarrassed he looked elsewhere again, feeling his heart crush slowly.
"Luhan and I....we've become closer..." you started to say.
"Then maybe that's a good thing. I couldn't properly be your's anyway." Kai said.
"Jongin-ah....how could you say that?" You said.
"You know at least once....I always wanted you to call me oppa....but you never could...."Kai smirked.
"Jongin-ah...." You said once again, regretting lying to Kai already.
"Maybe...it's better this way. Maybe we should have just stayed friends." Kai said.
"What are you saying?"
"What does it sound like I'm saying?" Kai looked over at you, holding a weird smile on his face.
The left corner of his lips were curved up into a smile while the bottom of it stayed straight.
"I never wanted to hurt anybody....I just....I just don't know." You said looking away, truly scared that Kai would end it just now.
"If you want to go to Lu Han....I won't stop you. And I wouldn't hate you either." Kai said.
Looking back at Kai, with more tears in your eyes, you stood up and faced him. Then you bent down to level with his face. He was still taller then you but you looked into his eyes and placed your hands on his lap, tears streaming down your face. Kai took a finger and wiped them away while wearing a sly smile on his face.
"I haven't been a good boyfriend to you...."
"Your the best boyfriend I ever had. No one has ever treated me the way you treated me. Like before, when I was overweight....none of that mattered to you and you still treated me like an equal person. And I won't ever forget that for as long as I live Kim Jongin." You told him.
"Then I guess I'm too much of a nice guy..." he smiled and looked away, you could see something fall from his eye. It seemed like a tear.
For the first time, you get to see Kim Jongin cry and it pains you. Now you understand why he hated to see you cry. Just like now, you hated yourself for lying, for having been involved with Kai, Lu Han, and Taemin. The three flowers who completely impacted your life. Kai quickly wiped away a tear and looked up at the sky.
"Aiissssshhhh...what's wrong with you Jongin?" Kai spoke to himself and tried to smile through it.
Kai really liked you. He really really really liked you. And you liked Kai. But if you had been really honest, the amount of feelings Kai had for you were not almost the same you had for Kai. He had been the one who pushed himself in your life. Even if Kai hadn't become your boyfriend when you had started to like him, you would have been fine with just his friendship and his friendship only. But because you wanted to be with Kai and because you told yourself that you would wait for him, you became confused right now in what you truly felt. Feelings for Taemin were done and over with. Kai still remained in your heart but Luhan seemed to always have struck you. Even in the beginning when he told you were "ugly". His meaning behind those words set you in the right mind set.
Lu Han was indeed a sunflower that you could never forget.
"Maybe it is better this way.....I wanted to tell you....I'm moving to California....for good." Kai said.
His words ripped away your thoughts. Kai would be leaving for real this time. All this time you have missed him, would have been wasted because of this lie you told him.
"What?" You said speechless.
"I told my parents that I was going to live the life I wanted to live....I know I haven't spoken much about my parents. They were like shackles to me." Kai said.
Him finally talking about his parents made you remember how much you still did not know about Kai. This bothered you since it seemed that Kai knew almost everything about you. The blame was partly put on you seeing as you never asked about Kai's parents or his past. Kai was just always there comforting you. You never really comforted him. Reeling this in your mind, it made you feel even guiltier then actually liking Lu Han.
"But...I was able to persuade them....I'm going to live in Cali...and become a dancer." Kai said.
You removed yourself from in front of him and sat back down on the swing you were on.
"That's good right? You wanted to become a dancer before..."
"I always wanted to be a dancer...I just never was given the freedom to do so....now, that I'm of legal age....I can live freely as I want....in America. I had been hoping that you would come with me...."
"What would I do in America?" You said off handedly.
"Be with me....I thought we could at least attend the same school...I'd show you some of the nice places, introduce you to my new friends there...rent out an apartment studio, travel back and forward to Las Vegas on the weekends....watch the sun set along the Pacific...." Kai was revealing all the plans he had in mind for the two of you.
You looked at Kim Jongin and wanted to cry. You know now that this was the end.
"...Well, I guess it just was not meant to be." Kai sighed.
He stood up and faced you. He bent down to meet your gaze and then slowly leaned in. He closed his eyes and his lips met yours. You felt something wet slide down his face. You opened your eyes and saw it was a tear. He softly kissed your lips once and again and let back, looking into your eyes clearly hurt.
"I was always the one doing the breaking-up in a relationship...guess this is the first time I'd be the dump'ee..."
"I didn't dump you Jongin...."
"But how comes it feel like you did....once you said that you and Luhan gotten closer...I couldn't help but think that maybe I had pushed myself a little to hard on you."
"No you did not...Jongin...you...."
"Either way....if you end with Luhan, I'll support you." he said.
"Huh?" This really shocked you now.
Kai smiled and took your hand for the last time.
"Because I really care about this ppang so much....I'd be willing to let you be just to make you happy. If being with Luhan makes you happier, I'll be just fine."
Right then you realized how much of a sincere person Kai was. You really were grateful to have this flower boy in your life.
"Are you crazy Kim Jongin....you would just let me go like this?" You fussed getting mad.
"Bad guy!" You spat at him and playfully hit his shoulder.
But Kai playfully hit your knee.
"Whose the bad guy? Who kissed someone else behind my back?" He fussed back.
He wasn't serious but he was being playful.
"Mihane." You said.
Kai playfully hit your knee again and stood up.
"Oh what to do....I'm hungry....ppang....treat me." Kai said stretching his arm, flashing a bit of his bare copper skinned tummy.
"What?"
"You heard right.....your treating me....since you cheated on me..."
"But I..." But you stopped talking when Kai walked away telling you to hurry up.
Though right now seemed really awkward, you figured if things would be left like this you'd regret ever being with Kai. As you followed Jongin to a restaurant you secretly cry and thank him for being the best boyfriend that you ever had.
THE UNTOLD ENDING...that's right I will post a mini follow-up to this series. After many people not being satisfied with the ending I will add a mini sequel!
Comments