Kanina pa kita tinitingnan. I never dared to remove my gaze from you.

I will never dare…

As if you are a bubble about to pop anytime into thin air.

You suddenly caught me staring at you. with tight lips and wary eyes, you smiled.

I smiled back kaya mas lumuwag ang pagkakangiti mo.

I smiled back?

You finished singing at muling tumingin sa akin.

Turn na nung isang singer so lumapit ka na agad.

I am watching your careful steps, you are rubbing your hands reluctantly, biting your lips.

Kanina, you’re so ready na tumakbo paalis ng simbahan.

What did you said again?

“Halika... itatakbo na kita”

Sana nga itinakbo mo nalang ako.

Sana hinila mo na ako paalis.

Then, I wouldn’t be sitting here, watching you sing for them while they dance lovingly.

Bakit ka kasi nagpapigil nung sinabi niyang “wait… please, kahit ngayon lang… stay”

Wait?

Stay??

Aso ka ba???

Tsk…

I hate the way she’s looking at you habang kumakanta ka.

It’s the same look nung hawak ko ang braso mo, telling you “don’t… marry her”

Akala ko kasi huli na.

Akala ko ikakasal ka na.

“Uhm… hi” you said habang hinihilla ang upuan sa aking harap.

Akala ko-

“akala ko… kung napano ka na kanina” sabi mo ulit.

“hmm… akala mo lang yun” is all I can say instead of you don’t know what hell I’ve gone through para mahanap ka.

“m-may dumi ba ako sa mukha?” pabulong niyang tanong.

I can’t help it…

I really cannot.

I laughed. So hard, other people turned their heads at us.

Ako yung sweaty, ako yung nakatapak ng jackpot at ako yung basang sisiw dahil sa ulan.

Ako yung dugyot nung dumating. How can she ask me that?

Kinakabahan siyang napalingon sa iba.

Saka tumawa rin ng pilit para kunyari both of us are at the edge of sanity.

“bakit ka tumatawa?” saglit niyang bulong.

Lalo lang akong natawa. Yung new wedded couple napalingon na rin.

I caught her staring at us.

Yes… that’s right.

Ako yung ‘di invited at nakaupo sa pinkalikod ng reception.

Pero ako yung pinuntahan niya. Hah!

Tumawa ka lang din as if naiintindihan mo yung reason ko sa pagtawa.

How can she be like this?

She’s so pretty in her dress. Her make up suits her too. Her red lips and pink cheeks.

I recall her look sa bar.

That  was hot.

I like it.

This dress too.

I like it.

She can rock both huh?

She’s rocking my sanity too.

I came down from my high. “ang cute mo kasi” I said.

“Dahil lang dun?!” and it’s her turn to laugh.

A genuine laugh.

I love it.

“sure ka bang okay lang makikain ako?”

She said “you’re eating my food." then points to herself "Food yan ng singer”

“ang lowkey naman ng kasal na ‘to” ismid ko.

“hindi ako gutom”

I’m too hungry to even mind kung bakit mo ako pinapanuod habang inuubos ko yung laman ng plate.

“I’ll get change, dito ka lang” sabi mo pa bago tumayo.

“why? I like your dress. You look hot” you blushed saka patay-malisyang inabot yung baso ng tubig sa akin.

“saglit lang”

I held your hand “wag. Wait- okay, I’ll go with you” pigil ko.

“no… just ea-“

“you have the heart na iwan ako dito mag-isa?” pagpapaawa ko pa.

Sana tumalab. Kahit wala akong luck, sana tumalab.

“bakit hindi?”

Ouch…

I’m here, looking like a beggar, stinky and muddy… alone.

Pathetic.

Umalis ka na.

I felt sa mga mata ng ilan na palihim nagnanakaw ng tingin.

Sino ba ‘to?

Bakit ba yan nandito?

Anong ginagawa niya rito?

I munched the chicken. Stuffing all the rice sa bibig and lowered down my head.

My hands full of sauce and grease.

After a few minutes I felt something sa upuan ko.

You’re slightly kicking my chair. “tara na” sabi mo lang

“i-… I wanna change too.”

Hindi ka naman umimik.

“m-meron kang extra clothes?” tanong ko ulit.

A smile crept on your lips.

“I’ll – I’ll pay you nalang. Buy me clothes. Please” bulong ko pa but you grabbed my hands at pinunas yun sa white tshirt mo. Both my hands staining your clothes.

Inabot mo sa akin ang ilang tissue sa mesa. “lift you head, alis na tayo dito”

This fool…

“actually, hindi ko rin alam kung kanino yung kasal na kakantahan ko until I saw her.” you spoke.

I looked at our feet na magkasabay ang mga hakbang.

I asked you “you don’t want her to marry that guy?”

Your steps suddenly change. “that’s her half…”

“you like that girl?” sinusubukan kong gayahin ulit ang mga hakbang niya.

“I- I loved her” I halted.

Watching your annoying and irregular steps slowly gnawed by crowd.

So, they share something at the past?

So that’s the reason behind the longing stares, wait and kahit ngayon lang stay kineme nila kanina…